Friday, November 30, 2007

A Cellular Cheat Sheet

Since about 2002 students have been using their cell phones for purposes other than just phoning home. 2002 is about the time articles began appearing about students using cell phone technology to cheat on tests.

In 2003 several students at the University of Maryland in Rockport were caught in a scam perpetrated by an ingenious professor. Evidently the university's protocol was to post test answers online immediately after an exam had started. Students were then texting friends who would go online and find the answers then text them back to their friends taking the exam. Professors suspected some students of cheating, but could never prove it until one professor posted fake answers to the test questions, thereby catching all the students who had those answers on their tests.

Also making the news was the use of cell phones to cheat on standardized tests such as the ACT and even more infamously the SAT in which students used their camera phones to take pictures of the test.

As more and more students have gained access to cell phones, the cheating has expanded to just your regular old run-of-the-mill tests. Students can store information such as formulas, vocabulary words, and other facts in their phones. They then try to sneakily take the phones out, hiding them (or trying to) in their lap where they then pull up the information. Unsuspecting parents may not realize that $150 phone they just purchased for their child could be a cellular cheat sheet. A casual question - "Have you ever used your cell phone to cheat on a test?" - might produce some surprising answers as parents discover they have been the unwitting accomplices in an elaborate ruse.

Some news articles have called this a creative use of cellular technology. Actually it's only a glorified, technological cheat sheet, the kind kids used to write on a tiny piece of paper hidden between their legs on the seat of their desk. It just goes to show that there is nothing new under the sun and the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Who's First??

If you have more than one child, you may be very aware of distinct differences between their personalities. One is gung-ho, one is and quiet, one is always standing on his head and making jokes. Is it in their genes, or training, or an accident of nature that makes them who they are?

In a recent article in Time Magazine, The Power of Birth Order maintains that " in family after family, case study after case study, the simple roll of the birth-date dice has an odd and arbitrary power all it's own. " In June, a group of Norwegian researchers released a study showing that firstborns are generally smarter than any siblings who come along later, enjoying on average a three point higher IQ advantage over the next eldest. This is probably a result of the intellectual boost that comes from mentoring younger siblings and helping them in day to day tasks. Additionally, first children get more stimulation and interaction from their parents. The second child, in turn, in a point ahead of the third. Time states that "while three points may not seem like much, the effect can be enormous. Just 2-3 IQ points can correlate to a 15 point difference in SAT scores.

Studies in the Philippines show that later-born siblings tend to be shorter and weigh less that earlier borns. Peyton Manning is 6 ft. 5 in. and younger brother Eli is 6-ft. 4-in. Younger siblings are less likely to be vaccinated and last-borns are immunized at only half the rate of first borns. Elder siblings are also disproportionately represented in higher paying professions. 43% of CEO's are first born. Eldest siblings are also prevalent among MBA's and surgeons. and the U.S. Congress. Younger siblings, though less intellectual perhaps, are statistically likelier to live the creative and exciting life of an artist, a comedian, an adventurer, entrepreneur or firefighter. And middle children? Well, they can be a puzzle, even to the researchers.

In families, none of this comes as a surprise. There are few that can't identify a first-born who makes the best grades, keeps the other kids in line and winds up as caretaker and executor in their parents old age. Many "in the middle" are lost children and often the last is that "wild child". Look at your family scrapbooks. Are they stuffed with pictures and report cards of the firstborn with fewer entries and pictures of the children born next in line? The later borns notice it too.

Younger siblings find strategies to change the power system. They don't have size on their side, at least at first, but they have other methods. One is humor. It's hard to resist the charms of someone who can make you laugh and lots of families can identify that last born clown who has learned to get his way by being funny. Birth-order scholars note that some of history's greatest satirists-Voltaire, Jonathan Swift, Mark Twain-were the youngest members of large families. Stephen Colbert is the last of 11 children. Personality tests show firstborns score well on general responsibility and follow through and that later borns score higher as what is known as agreeableness, or the simple ability to get along in the world. Something else interesting. Later borns are similarly willing to take risks with their physical safety. Prince Harry is a good example.

If the oldest are achievers and the youngest are the gamblers and visionaries, where does that leave those in between? Think about it. For a while, they are the baby. They're too young for the privileges of the oldest and too young for the leniency granted the youngest. They are expected to step up to the plate when the eldest leaves and generally serve when called. That Norwegian study discovered that should a first born die, the second-borns IQ actually rises.

Time describes middle born as "stuck for life" in a center seat. They are never alone and never get 100% of their parents investment of time and money. Self esteem issues may arise. One tendency cited in the study is that often the next born observes the one born before and then does the opposite. A middle child might become a slacker or rebellious if the eldest is a high achiever. This is called a "scape goat" in family dynamics. They often are less connected to family and more to friends.

Birth Order is of course just a theory. Some points may ring true. Others may seem the opposite in your own growing up order or that of your children. It is still helpful to see what the studies have found and at least tuck it away as you relate to your own children. Any help as we raise them to be the adults they will become is a good thing. So get that middle child's Baby Book out and fill in all those blank pages! And do check their vaccination records. I know my youngest was 6 months behind his shots at every appointment.

Here's an easy canape recipe I got from my dear friend Susan. It's fast and delicious.

Pumpkin Spread
Pumpkin Butter (She used Williams Sonoma Pumpkin Pecan Butter, but I found Pumpkin Butter at Homeland here in town)
1 block cream cheese
1 cup toasted and salted chopped pecans
1 bunch green onions, chopped
6 strips of bacon, crumbled (I used the already cooked and just zapped it a minute)
Spoon pumpkin over cream cheese
top with other ingredients
Serve with whole wheat Wheat Thins or any nutty type cracker
(I think sugared pecans with a bit of cinnamon would also be really good with this. I'll try it next time and let you know)

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Count Your Blessings

Chrissie's great blog about family time at Thanksgiving highlights the importance of keeping traditions alive. One tradition my daughter and I have shared over the course of her lifetime is getting an angel from the Salvation Army Angel Tree and buying the gifts for our angel together.

This yeat the Angel Trees are divided into boys, girls, and nursing home residents. My daughter and I decided upon a teenager who lives in a nursing home. He is the same age as my son, my daughter's little brother. It took hardly any thinking to know that this was the angel we should get. What kept running through our minds was, in a different sitiation, this could be our little brother.

All he wanted was a ball cap, socks, and some after shave. We went to Hibbet Sports and picked out a Nike hat and several pairs of Nike socks. Then we went to Dillard's and Bath and Body works for some after shave and cologne. The clerks helped us eagerly, and let us know that they and their moms do the very same thing every year.

Getting an angel from the Angel Tree is evidently a big tradition on many people's lists. It is an easy way to teach one's children how to give back to those less fortunate than they are. It is also a great way to show them, and one's self, how very, very blessed our lives are.

I take my students to the Angel Tree, too, and have had so much fun with them at the mall, watching them pick out special gifts for a tiny little boy or girl who might cross paths with them at some time in the future. We never know when that little angel might grow up to be the person who saves our life with a blood donation or might go on to be our child or grandchild's teacher or doctor.

What goes around comes around, and as corny as it may sound, I think it is true. It may just be the luck of the draw, it could be the chaos theory in action, but I do believe that when we count our blessings and stop to consider how much we take for granted and give thanks for what we have been given, no matter how shabby or elegant it might be, our blessings multiply in unforseen ways. It's the being grateful that opens our eyes.

Your teenagers are not too old to go with you to get an angel off of the Angel Tree, in fact this is the best time to round them up and go. If they are looking for a school club project, you might also suggest this activity. It's a great way to help out another human being in the midst of holiday commercialization and it benefits someone right here at home.

Only HOW MANY days 'til Christmas?!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

We Gather Together

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Do you have a funny Thanksgiving story? One that just has to be retold every year? The year the dog got the turkey or all the Great Aunts got tipsy while making the gravy? What about a special tradition in your family? Be it silly or somber, is it what signifies the holiday to you and yours? Say, a maiden aunt's crookneck squash turkeys made with colored toothpicks and construction paper. They sat precariously on their little toothpick legs, among the floral centerpiece and old wedding silver. And of course, those certain foods and recipes that your group's Thanksgiving table will never be without. Aunt Sue's Broccoli Salad or long gone Visie's yeast rolls. One taste, and she's back in the kitchen with you, smiling and holding court.

Hands down, Thanksgiving is the best holiday of all. Understand, I love Christmas as much as the next person, but the shopping and decorating and weeks of leading up to, and days of taking down, are not exactly relaxing. It's the holiday that goes on forever. And all those expectations that have to be met. It's nerve-wracking. It's expensive. It's exhausting.

Thanksgiving. Now there's a holiday. You still get the family without the fuss. It's fallish. It's festive. It's fun. Everyone in one place without a game plan. There's time to catch up. Time to reconnect. And best of all, time to remember.

As the preceding generation leaves us, it becomes harder to stay connected. When my Mother and her sister were gone, the cousins all kind of floated, loosey goosey. First our Grandparents, and then our Mothers were no longer in charge. We realized very quickly how much we needed each other. We realized we wanted our children to have what we had been so blessed with. We grew up together with a strong sense of self. We had a knowledge of where we came from and who we were. The greatest gift we could give to our loved ones memory (and the greatest gift to ourselves) was to continue instilling a strong sense of family. Additionally, when we are gone, the younger generation will have each other to support and love them like only family can. They share a history because they have shared their lives.

Cousins move out of their house so you can stay there while your daughter is having heart surgery. Sister-in law's have Valentine parties for your grandchildren and shop better for your family than you do. Brothers sit with your husband while he smokes 25 Thanksgiving turkeys or dog sit their niece's Jack Russell, a dog only family could love. Brothers know why you are who you are, because they were there too. They know all the inside jokes. One key word and you look at each other and burst out laughing. Floyd! HA HA HA. Cousins bring baby presents and cry with you at funerals and have Easter get-togethers because Thanksgiving only comes once a year. Nieces and Nephews grow up with each other and then, these cousins start the marriage and new baby cycle all over again. That's the way it's supposed to work isn't it?

How about it? Put those Christmas lights down! Leave Santa in the attic a day or two more. Let the pumpkins and the mums stay for the weekend. Don't miss this holiday getting ready for the next one. May your Thanksgiving be memorable. May your Thanksgiving be happy. May your Thanksgiving be delicious. And most importantly, may your Thanksgiving be blessed with the gift of family.

Aunt Sue's Broccoli Salad
2 bunches Broccoli heads-blanched and chopped
5 hard boiled eggs-chopped
1/2 cup green olives-chopped
1 can real Bacon Bits or 10 slices bacon, fried and chopped
6 green onions, chopped
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
Toss Broccoli with 1 cup Wish Bone Italian Dressing
and 1/2 cup Hellman's Mayonnaise
Add rest of ingredients and chill

Aunt Mamie's Toothpick Turkey's
Choose yellow squash with a nice long neck on them
Fan a tail out of colored toothpicks along the "rear" of the turkey
Make eyes with Magic Marker and give the bird two toothpick legs to stand on.
Display proudly!

Aunt Mary Shirley was principal at Sequoyah Elementary School in the late 40's, the 50's and early 60's. She was the first female principal in Muskogee. The MLT building is what's left of the original school. Mamie never married but helped raise not only her nieces and nephews but scores of her students. She was very crafty and loved creating things with Styrofoam, glitter and crepe paper. Martha Stewart, eat your heart out!!!

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

Native Language in a Global World




Today's teens will face finding the answers to tough questions. Some of those questions will concern the role of Native American sovereignty, the rise of the Chinese economy, illegal immigration, and the situation in the Middle East. A common factor in all these questions is language - being able to communicate in a global world.

In honor of Muskogee Public School's Indian Heritage Week celebration, Harry Oosahwee, instructor of Cherokee language at Northeastern State University, spoke to the Advanced Placement Latin class at Muskogee High School.
Oosahwee stressed the importance of language in understanding one's culture. Tribal languages, he said, have been dying at an alarming rate, not just among Native American tribes, but world-wide. As the elders die, knowledge of the language dies with them. It is estimated that over the course of the last few years a language has been lost at the rate of one every two weeks.

This was a process Latin students understood well, having just studied the Celts while reading Caesar's Commentaries on the Gallic War. The loss of native languages for Western Europeans began well over a thousand years ago with the slow absorption of Latin into tribal languages and later with the spread of English. For instance, the Celtic language of Cornish is now spoken by about only 300 people living in England, Australia and the U.S. An attempt to revive it has been made by teaching children Cornish and offering Cornish classes at the University of Exeter.

Similarly, Oosahwee said through tribal efforts and the addition of a Cherokee language degree at NSU, more young people are becoming fluent in Cherokee. While more speakers are lost than are gained at the moment, Oosahwee sees the degree program at NSU as a hope for keeping the language alive.

"Sa' quui, ta-li, tso-i, nv-qi, hi-s-gi," the students count after Oosahwee. Senior Kylor Brice, who has had four years of Latin and is also in his first year of Chinese at MHS, finds it simple to understand the structural scheme of Cherokee cardinal numbers.

"All languages I have studied seem to follow the same paradigms," said Brice. "If you know the numbers from one to ten, then logic tells you what will come next."

What will come next for Latin or Cherokee is hard to predict in our changing world of increased Chinese and Spanish emphasis. Each language represents a tradition symbolizing the way of life and mind-set of its speakers. While Latin will never come back as a native tongue, Cherokee has prospects of returning to a viable living language, keeping alive the long traditions of tribal heritage.

While language is an emotionally charged issue, success in the modern world for now remains via English. The ACT and SAT are currently given only in English, and a clear understanding of English is a necessity for broadening one's opportunity, no matter what one's cultural background. While our teens will face the problem of an official language for America in the future, for the time being any parent who cares about his child’s future success will ensure that his teen can read and write in grammatically correct English. It is the key to their success in the modern business world.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Going Stemmal

Current brain research conducted by educators tells us that when threatened, thinking can vacate the brain and go to the brain stem, where no actual thinking occurs, only the ability to react.

Educators use it to describe student behavior, but has anyone ever thought of applying it to parents?

We have heard of parents going ballistic. Parents can lose their temper, explode, blow up.

But, there is another phenomenon my husband and I jokingly refer to as "going stemmal." Here are the warning signs by which to tell if it has ever happened to you:

1. You have that "deer in the headlights" look.
2. You open your mouth, but no words will come out.
3. You have the vague feeling of motors whirring within a vaccuum in your head.
4. You have heart palpitations that cannot be relieved by any amount of deep breathing.
5. The sight of your child brings widespread panic of such kind that your body walks out of the
room on its own volition.
6. You vascillate back and forth between starring blankly off into space and shaking your head
back and forth in disbelief.

While it is possible you are having a small TIA, chances are that if you have a teenager, your brain has just gone stemmal. You can expect recovery time to last between three to five years or until your child's 21st birthday, whichever comes first. But don't worry or wish your life away during these trying times. They will be gone in a flash and you will hardly remember why you ever needed to go stemmal in the first place.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

We Are FAM-I-LY



Last weekend was Dad's Day at O.U. The 2007, University of Oklahoma, politically correct term is "Family Day" and as always President David and crew are right on top of culturally sensitive issues like, what to put on the souvenir T-Shirt.

Understand, my husband and I have, as of Saturday, attended 12 of these weekends. Add the Mom's Day (forgive me,, Parent Day) festivities in the spring and we're already up to 24. Oh, and factor in the last two years that our youngest still has ahead of him and we're closing in at 28 oh say, Legal Guardian weekends.

These weekends usually consist of some sort of pre-game buffet at the fraternity or sorority house with the Parent's Meeting directly after lunch. There you pay Parent Club dues, contribute to the "house" project of the semester and get lots of information on one endowment fund or another. At the sorority house, local retailers set up co-ed focused merchandise all over the downstairs, so you don't even have to get in the car to go shopping. So convenient! We pose for yet another Party Pic. And sure as shooting, one of our group always has eyes shut tight and another has mouth wide-open. And there's the group photo on the lawn, Dad (sorry O.U. family member #1) and one child or another is precariously balanced on bleachers 10 feet high, as the famous Norman wind rattles the scaffolding.

Since we have two in school, my husband was expected at two different places. His youthful spirit was willing but his aging knees were not quite up to sprinting between houses. The problem was solved as he jumped behind Tom and whooshed off on Tom's zippy blue scooter. There were several startled expressions from more reserved parents as Father and son roared up to the Chi-Omega House but after 12 solid years of Wagner's in Norman, our family mantra is, Whatever Works!

I usually schlep over with goodies from home. "Mom, would you bring a pound cake?" "Hey Mama, all the guys are whining for cheese dip and Brownie Sheet Cake." "Could you bring some My Place chopped beef....oh and some Butterscotch Haystack thingys." "Dad, would you drive through the Charlie's in Shawnee and pick up a gazillion piece Nugget box?"

It's the same on campuses all over the United States. Parents in full school color regalia, grinning from ear to ear, wallets wide open and hearts bursting with pride. This year was particularly special for us. Catherine is a senior, so this was her last Dad's Day. Secondly, it was truly a Family Weekend as all our group was together. Warren and I traveled over with our married daughter's family in their new van. My wisecracking son-in-law did not fail to observe that "Grandma" was way back in the third seat, watching Barney on DVD and sharing Goldfish with three year old Annebelle. Hey, at least I'm not knitting and slobbering on myself.

Ward, (our second born, out of OU, gainfully employed son) came from OKC with his ever patient girlfriend. She is a trooper. Ally comes from a small family. Thrown in with our crew, the first hour or so she usually has a rather startled expression. The first six months or so you might have likened it to sheer terror. Note: large and loud families take some getting used to.

So we were all there. It was a grand time. After the official visits, we migrated to friend Bess's house for more good food and fellowship. Nothing better than sitting at Flood and Lindsey, watching Sooner fans arrive all afternoon. Cath and I jumped on the scooter to buzz the campus. She indicated that per my directions, she had never broken more rules as we zipped across the South Oval and met tailgating friends. Even got to watch the Baylor buses come in. Catherine and I gave a friendly wave as the team passed. We were a bit aghast when one less sportsmanlike Sooner Fan did not use their whole hand to salute the opposition.

The afternoon progressed and it was time to head for the stadium. Some did. Some didn't. It was just too nice being together. It was Baylor for heaven's sake. We did not make eye contact with the family diehards as they headed for the game and the traitors headed for Catherine's house and the fire-pit. The game was on the TV and from her cinder block patio, we could hear the announcer and see the fireworks. It's not that we weren't Sooner fans. It's just that there was lots of catching up to do.

It was a grand weekend. There is nothing more lovely than fall in a college town. The leaves were absolutely glorious. The autumn light made them glow in the sun. There were pumpkins and mums on every porch. It smelled like fall. Sort of that crispy clean, orangey-red, mind cleansing smell. It sounded like fall. The crunch of leaves and acorns as we walked and car horns blaring Boomer Sooner as they passed us. It tasted like fall. Bar B Que and Pumpkin Bars and spicy Virgin Mary's with Lawry's around the rim.

Combine picture perfect surroundings with the excitement and high spirits of a Game Day. Add in great food and old friends. Insert one goofy but lovely family. Mix it all up. What do you get? A slam dunk, making memories, all around marvelous Saturday - in Norman, Oklahoma U.S.A.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Eat, Drink, And Be Merry

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Eating Together. It matters. Could anything be more simple? It matters when our children are small and it matters when they become teenagers. A family dinner is important to instill good eating habits, for social interaction and for strengthening family ties. It's a time to communicate about the day. It's a time to reflect and renew. It's a time to give thanks. It's a time to be together.

Let me take this family dining idea a step further. I read alot about "just grab a pizza or a bucket of chicken, but sit down together." Certainly with all the activities and practices and events in the life of a family, drive-thru's and fast food are often the only options. I may be old-fashioned but sometimes "sitting down to dinner" should be more than a paper sack and squeeze packets of catsup. "Eating Right" is difficult with food to go. Eating Out is expensive! And "nothing says lovin' like something from your oven", right?

It takes a plan but our families are worth it. Casseroles can be made and frozen over the weekend. On Sunday, Dad can charcoal not only steaks but chicken breasts, pork chops and hamburgers for the rest of the week. Baked potatoes from the microwave, broiled tomatoes and a bag'o'salad with extra veggies make a meal. Try baked apples with the pork, whole wheat pasta tossed with fresh Parmesan and garlic butter and spinach salad from a sack with bacon bits, Durkee's onions rings, hard boiled eggs and Catalina dressing. Make fajitas out of the chicken breasts. Throw the peppers and onions on the grill (on foil) and then just wrap up. Shred the chicken and rewarm with the vegetables. Serve with flour tortillas. Hamburgers, baked beans and potato salad from the deli, fresh fruit and chips. Bingo. Four nights of meals.

Take dinner with your family one more step. Set the table. Use real napkins. Add candles or fresh flowers sometimes. Recognize a good grade, a soccer score or passing a driver's test. Celebrate the little things. Celebrate the big things. Enjoy being together.

Every once in a while, how about pulling out your wedding china? If those dishes just stay tucked away, our children will not associate them with anything "family." Aren't those darlings we love most of all worth the "good stuff"? And don't we want them to appreciate beautiful things, .................... and know which fork to use when they have dinner with the President? ( a favorite Wagner reason to use their manners).

Turn off the TV, don't pick up the phone, and keep the conversation positive. Dinnertime is NOT the time to argue, chastise or pull rank. A study by Columbia University has found that teens whose families eat together are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. They also have less stress, better grades and -- perhaps most importantly -- better relationships with us! Dinner around a table grounds our children, gives them a sense of who they are, and is the way to nurture and love them.

Here's one of those dishes you can make ahead and freeze. It is similar to Beth's at Harmony House and is a Wagner family favorite. It is good with rice and a grapefruit and avacado salad with Martinique Poppy Seed Dressing. Note: An easy way to jazz up rice is to brown every 1 cup rice (dry) in 5 tbsps melted butter. Transfer to casserole. Substitute chicken or beef broth for the water. Throw in some slivered almonds if you're feeling frisky. Bake, covered, at 325 for about 45 minutes or until done.

Swiss Chicken Casserole
1 T butter or margarine
1 cup milk
4 boneless chicken breasts
salt and pepper
8 slices swiss cheese
1 pkg stuffing mix
1 can mushroom soup
Melt butter in casserole dish. Add Chicken Breasts, cover with swiss cheese. Mix soup and milk and pour over chicken and cheese. S and P to taste. Mix stuffing according to package directions and put on top of casserole. Can be frozen at this point. When ready to bake: Bake, still covered, at 325 degrees for 1 1/2 hours or until bubbly. Serves four generously.


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That Phantom Ringing

At a meeting of the MHS Philosophy Club perhaps the most insightful conversation concerned cell phones. Kids will admit that they are somewhat addicted to their cell phones, like on a scale of 1 - 10, they might be a 9.

But how addicted they are can be seen in the phenomenon of phantoming ringing. I have to admit, I have been the victim of it, too.

Symptoms of phantom ringing range from thinking you hear your cell phone ringing to thinking you feel it vibrating in your pocket or purse, only to pick it up and find not even one new call or message.

I'm not sure how behavioral scientists would explain this, but I think it is clear. Our kids' cell phones have become another limb, an extension of their physical and psychic being; one they long for when it is silent or missing, or even right there in their pocket.

Why would this phenomenon manifest itself in this way? One's cell phone is a connection to the outside world and to friends. Kids may be having superficial conversations in the language of text, but they are communicating with another human being on the average of every ten to twenty minutes. Most of those are significant others: mom, grandma, girldfriend or boyfriend, and best friends.

Unlimited texting allows unlimited access to the teen's extension of self in family and friends. In our world the cell phone has become the most obvious manifestation of sociologist Cooley's infamous Looking Glass Self theory. Not only do teens have a reliable way to obtain needed information about rides, practices, parental instructions and so forth, but they also have a mirror of themselves in the outside world.

Significant Other didn't text right back? Uh-oh, he doesn't like me anymore. Mom didn't get right back to me - she's mad and I must be grounded or have messed up. That cute guy didn't respond to my text - he thinks I'm a geek. A weirdo texted me - what is happening to my social life?!

The fact is that the cell phone ringing is just like that Streamline Princess Phone we all had back in the 60's, 70's, and 80's. When it rang, we knew we were liked, valued, even adored. When it was silent, we were desolate. And, texting is just like that note your best friend left on your car windshield or that really cute someone slipped you in math class.

The ringing is important because it means we are loved. The phantom ring is just an existential sign that we wish someone were there, that we matter to someone. In that sense, the cell phone is a remarkable connection tool. That ring or vibration is an invisible hug - that phatom ring a longing for one.