Thursday, January 28, 2010

Kudos to Teens

Just a quick note to say how awesome teeangers can be when they band together for a good cause. Muskogee High School STUCO sponsor, Michele Hofschulte, put together the 2nd Annual Dodge Ball Tournament for Charity held this week in the MHS gym. Admission was 3 cans of food or $3. The proceeds were donated to the Muskogee Food Pantry.

All over the state and nations teens join together on such projects to help their communities. Since Hurricane Katrina, the desire to help others has risen among teens. 59% volunteer consistently and others volunteer episodically, up tremendously from 1989 statistics.

Especially important is offering the opportunity for economically disadvantaged youth to volunteer. A correlation between volunteering, civic pride, and college success among disadvantaged youth has been shown in the research project done by the Corporation for National and Community Service. You can read the report here:

http://www.nationalservice.gov/pdf/06_1203_volunteer_growth.pdf

Baby Boomers have volunteered at rates higher than any other generation. As they age, it will be imperative to have younger people step up to continue America's long history of the service ethic, noted as far back as de Toqueville. Developing that sense of community is the responsibility of both parents and the schools. Kudos to adults and teens who see a need in the community and fill it.


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Could It Be So Simple?

The average American is expected to live to 78. So says AARP. I think all of us would rather have quality versus quantity, no matter how long we live. We need to be taking the steps today to have a healthier and happier tomorrow. All this work raising out kids merits sticking around to see the productive and contributing adults they become.

On "The Early Show", Men's Health magazine Joel Weber showed us just how we can add years to our lives.

He shares we're succeeding at living longer, stronger and happier lives: Centenarians are one of the most rapidly growing segments of the U.S. population, according to the National Institute on Aging. The number of centenarians is growing at a rate of 4.1 percent per year; the numbers increased 51 percent between 1990 and 2000. This is no surprise. 100 year -olds are forming a line to be recognized by Willard Scott on national TV.

Here are five tips to live longer and to live better.

Eat Your Vegetables - Raw

Italian researchers have found that eating as little as one cup of raw vegetables daily can add two years to your life. Why raw? Cooking can deplete up to 30 percent of the antioxidants in vegetables. That said, sauteing, steaming, or blanching them is far better than not eating them at all. If you consume more than five servings of fruits and vegetables per day, you have a 26 percent lower risk of stroke than people who eat fewer than three servings, according to one British study. Try to eat as many different colors of vegetables as you can, and keep in mind that darker greens tend to contain the most vitamins and nutrients. Spinach, Swiss chard, kale, and collard greens are all excellent choices. When making salads, experiment with flavorful greens that you're not too familiar with. Just go easy on the salad dressings, which tend to be high in calories and sodium. For a healthy, easy-to-make dressing, mix two parts extra-virgin olive oil with one part balsamic vinegar, and then add salt and pepper to taste. (I would throw in a couple of cloves of crushed garlic and a little lemon juice).

Crack Some Shells

When Loma Linda University researchers tracked the lifestyle habits of 34,000 Seventh-Day Adventists -a population famous for its longevity- they discovered that those who munched nuts five days a week earned an extra 2.9 years on the planet. Not surprisingly, nuts are one of the healthiest snacks you can have. High in monounsaturated fats and protein, they help keep your arteries clean and your stomach feeling full. Eat two handfuls a day as snacks between meals. Almonds are especially good for their high doses of vitamin E and magnesium, but walnuts are a good alternative because they contain more heart-healthy omega-3s and pack half as much protein as chicken. He also suggests Planters Heart Healthy Mix, which contains six key nuts, including almonds and walnuts. Just remember to always opt for raw, unsalted nuts. Smoking and salting increases the sodium content, which can have a negative impact on your blood pressure.

Check Your Belly

The fat you carry today could kill you tomorrow. University of Alabama researchers discovered that maintaining a body-mass index of 25 to 35 can shorten your life by up to three years. BMI is a simple calculation of a person's weight-to-height ratio that doctors often use to determine a person's health risk. According to the National Institute of Health, a BMI of 19-24.9 is normal, 25-29.9 is overweight, and 30 or greater is obese. Excess body fat raises your risk of diabetes, heart disease, stroke, and colon cancer. Calculate your BMI using an online calculator. To improve your score, try circuit training-a conditioning technique that combines the best aspects of strength training and cardio into a single activity by having you move from one weightlifting station to the next without rest. Then persuade your significant other to join. A Duke University study showed that sedentary people are 50 percent more likely to work out three times a week if their partners participate.

Invite Your Friends Over


Chronic stress weakens the immune system and ages cells more quickly -ultimately shortening life-spans - but friendships can act as a buffer against stresses of everyday life. When Australian researchers looked at seventy-somethings, for instance, they found that those with the largest network of friends had the longest lease on life. For the average person, this could add up to seven additional years. But acquaintances aren't friends; You need people you can openly confide in. In a survey conducted jointly by Duke University and the University of Arizona, however, sociologists learned that women today report having an average of only two close confidants, down from three in 1985; nearly a quarter of the women surveyed reported having no one at all in whom they could confide. So say "hello" to the neighbors, invite your closest friends over for game night, and then maintain rituals, whether it's as simple as a weekly Sunday night phone call or a yearly stay in a beach house with people you love.

Find a Happy Place

In a Yale University study of older adults, people with a positive outlook on the aging process lived more than seven years longer than those who felt doomed to deteriorating mental and physical health. If you're outlook has some room for improvement, give back to your community by volunteering or mentoring-selfless actions that distract from unhealthy obsessing. In addition to helping others, don't forget to care for yourself. Make yourself happy by doing the activities you enjoy most-whether it's going to the spa for a facial, quality time with family, or hitting the links. Maybe it's baking bread, joining a book club or climbing Mt. Everest. It's all up to each of us. Attitude goes a long way to keeping us healthy and happy. It's a choice. The key is finding what makes each of us happiest.

So, veggies, nuts, exercise, friends and positive outlooks. It's easy! See you on the Today show in 20__. chrissie

Monday, January 18, 2010

No Wafflling Allowed

If only being a parent was like following a recipe. Add a cup of this and a tablespoon of that and voila- a happy and well-adjusted teenager. Unfortunately, we often face decisions and choices for which there is no pat formula. There is no easy answer.

Imagine your son has committed to participate in a time-consuming volunteer program early in the school year. At the beginning, he is gung-ho and enthusiastic. Now, it's the middle of the year and everything about that commitment looks different. The project is not well organized. the mission is not clear, the desired results are not forthcoming. For some very good reasons, your son wants to quit the project. Reevaluating the situation, we wonder "when is it okay to allow a kid to renege on a commitment? When can a parent be flexible on such a thing, and when does one stay firm?"

This choice between being firm and being flexible is one that parents come across frequently. And it's rarely clear what the best choice is. Too often, right and wrong is not clear, and despite our best intentions to always make the right decisions, we are sometimes guessing our way through the situation.

Sue Blaney from http://www.parentingteensinfo.com/blog offers 8 steps that may help you if you are struggling with a tough decision regarding your teen:

1. Clearly define the real issue at hand ( this is the hard part).

2. Explore, consider and discuss all options and alternatives.

3. Make a list of pros and cons-including your teenager.

5. Get in touch with the emotions you are feeling; give yourself time to allow them to inform you. If necessary, look again at steps 1 -4

6. Tap into your courage. This will be required, whether you decide this is a time to stand firm, or to be flexible and take a new approach. Raising teens and having courage to do it? Absolutely.

7. Make your decision.

8. Move on.

Once the decision is made, cut yourself some slack. Agonizing over anything after the fact is counter-productive. Don't second-guess yourself. Don't lose anymore sleep over this. Don't look for outside validation for your choice. Don't allow it to eat away at you. You've made your best choice with the information you had. The next step is to just move on! chrissie

Sunday, January 17, 2010

After Tupac and D Foster

Just a short blog to get the word out about a a teen reading site called Teen Reads. It can be found at http://www.teenreads.com/features/NIP_index.asp. This is a great site for teens who love to read with scads of reviews about teen genre novels. It could also be a great site for teens struggling with reading. Their facebook page would be a great attraction to get teens interacting with books, author, and ideas. Join here:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Teenreadscom/72512133018


One novel new to me is Jacqueline Woodson's After Tupac and D Foster, out in paperback. It is a coming of age story set in an African American neighborhood in Queens. Three girls become best friends set against tragic events. For grades 6 - 9. Woodson has won the Newberry Award and Coretta Scott King Award for children's literature. Here is the link to her website:

http://www.jacquelinewoodson.com/.

Monday, January 11, 2010

It's Simple It's Complicated It's Parenting

There is rumor of a secret society that is purported to have all the tools to successful parenting. This mysterious and mystical organization is rooted in the past, works in the present and looks toward the future. Secrets are not found buried in a vault or hidden in cryptic codes, they are passed in an oral tradition, from one member to another. The tricky part is, deciphering what is good and true and pure, and discarding the false and deceptive gobbledygook that is also included in the messages.

A special talisman is necessary to sort and arrange the lessons offered by the society. This talisman is a shining beacon in often murky and unstable territory. The territory of raising a child and doing it well. What, you ask, is this mysterious and mythical charm? What can help each of us navigate in these stormy and uncharted seas? As always with answers, this one is deceptively simple. The use of common sense.

If I want my child to have direction, I must be a compass. If I want to my child to feel safe, I must offer an environment of safety. If I want my child to feel validated, I must give him an opportunity to be confident and successful. If I want my child to feel love, I must show him love in a million different ways.

He or she first needs a sense of family. They need expectations and boundaries, tenderness and discipline, service and philanthropy, knowledge and education, respect and courtesy. Care-givers must offer a house that welcomes friends and is filled with laughter. A gift to our children is a young life of exploration, discovery and wonder. It is just common sense that we model behavior, create a positive environment, and verbally communicate with our children. Growing successful and competent adults takes a plan. If children grow up helter- skelter, their adult lives will be just as fragmented and undirected.

One tool from this secret vault that I believe to be a no brainer is "find a passion." This is best done before the hormones kick in, but it is never too late. Finding a passion simply means, identify and nurture something your child is good at. Whether it is music or a sport or 4H or breaking a car down and putting it back together, find something your personal child can focus all those budding hormones and all that angst on.

The restlessness and lack of direction so often seen in middle school and high school is easily deflected with a favorite way to spend time. Showing a horse, dance competitions, motocross racing, soccer tournaments or swimming competitively are all excellent activities within themselves, but even better, the nature of the activity involves a commitment other than the actual event. Say, horses and riding competitively is your child's interest. Livestock must be cared for, clubs and organizations foster friendships with like minded young people and to compete in the ring requires diligence in daily training.

Of course any sport demands practice, competition and the drive to excel. Camps and workshops further promote excellence and focus. Athletic performance demands a healthy life style and experienced team mates are role models to younger team members. We all know that good coaches can effectively influence a young man or woman for the rest of their life.

A passion for the Arts can last a lifetime. Classes, camps and private lessons give a budding musician or artist tools needed to develop in their medium. Exposure to museums, concerts, galleries and choral groups foster a passion to excel. Oklahoma offers a unique opportunity for young artists via the Oklahoma Arts Institute. http://oaiquartz.com/. Muskogee Little Theater will host a summer youth theatre program. http://www.muskogeelittletheatre.com/. Voice lessons are also available at MLT. The Muskogee Art Guild has art classes as do several private artists in this community. Local music businesses have contacts for guitar, drum and other instrument instruction.

No hocus pocus. No mumbo jumbo. Just common sense. Who better than a parent to identify a child's special gifts? The magic is to nurture and develop these gifts by offering tools and opportunities to excel. Every child should have their chance to sparkle. chrissie

Monday, January 4, 2010

It's Elemental Watson

We all want our children to have a successful and productive life. Shoot. Wouldn't we also like that for ourselves? Is there a short- cut that makes life better, more pleasant and eminently, more satisfying? It is as obvious as the nose on our face, but unfortunately, half the American population is publicly picking theirs.

Manners. Yep, Manners. Now, I am not talking about which spoon to use when served clear soup versus cream soup. I am talking about the forgotten practice of putting a napkin in one's lap. The next step in this process is actually using said napkin. The quandary of what month oysters are served in is not a pressing problem. Eating across from someone who has much to say about Global Warming, but does so with their mouth open, full of chili fries, is definitely disconcerting. Elbows off the table, please. Sometimes shoulders off the table is more applicable. Do not hold a fork upside down in a tight fist and stab at anything that's not tied down. Knives should be replaced to the plate after each cut, not held in the other hand as if expecting an ambush at the dinner table.

Toothpicks. Oh Lord. How have they become accepted main steam hygiene? What are we modeling for our kids? Pieces of partially digested food products are being sucked and picked out of diner's teeth during coffee and dessert. Wait one, maybe two more minutes at the max. Gums and spaces will not suffer until you can at least get to your car. Ask your dentist. It's okay.

Children should be taught to rise when older people enter the room. Anyone younger should do so. It is a sign of respect. We all need to know what a firm handshake is and how to make eye contact. A correct introduction is important to grasp. It's oldest first, "Father Time, may I introduce Naked New Year Baby in top hat." As a teacher, I really noticed when I was acknowledged with a smile and a nod by students (or faculty for that matter). Common courtesy. It is affirming and positive.

What in heaven's name happened to holding a door open for someone? How many times are you right on the heel of someone going into the Quickie Mart and BAM, the door slams in front of you as Mr. No Shirt heads to the beer cooler. Oh and my favorite, just as you hit the door, manly man brings up a big, juicy hocker and SPITS it on the pavement as he goes into the store. This is an incredibly nasty habit and it has also become mainstream. Walking up the steps at my high school was enough to ruin lunch. Boys and Girls. This is an equal opportunity bad manners.

Hats. Oh hats. Men and boys. Take them off inside. It is simple. Friends employed at the hospital laugh about certain proud papas. At the birth of their child, they smile for the camera with their baby in their arms and with their ball cap screwed tightly on. Sweaty and well used or still with the tag hanging off the brim, please, take them off inside. It is good manners.

Let's agree to not put anything on the back of our cars that someone else would be embarrassed to read or is illegal. Cartoon characters relieving themselves on anything said driver takes offense to would be one example. Physical maiming threatened as retaliation for tail-gating is another popular Oklahoma bumper-sticker. Lastly, the humor of your kid beating up my honor student may just be sending the wrong signals of your expectations and priorities to your own personal child.

A personal bugaboo - bread and butter letters. Christmas thank-you's are a perfect time to start. Children need to start the practice as soon as they can scribble and continue until they can no longer hold a pen in crippled, arthritic hands. If Great Aunt Edna hobbles to the mall and picks out that stunning pair of rubber galoshes-thank her. After any job interview, drop a note and thank that little HR guy for his time. Mr. and Mrs. Super Parents host all 67 of your Chess Club for dinner and debate, thank them. Acknowledge kindness. Acknowledge effort. Write a Thank You note. Wedding gifts, graduation presents, baby showers, birthday parties, memorials to a loved one-gratitude and appreciation please. One other thing, those pre-printed thank you notes, a definite no-no. Write your own and make it sincere and personal. When my kids were small, birthday checks would be cashed as soon as the thank you note was written and mailed. Not a bribe, a given.

Socially acceptable behaviour is not brain surgery Manners are nothing more than kindness, consideration and common sense. Start standards of behaviour early and they will be second nature to your child. Civilized behavior is not bad. It is good. From a compliment on the back of a child's elementary report card to important and monumental life choices, being polite goes a long way to "seal the deal" for a successful life. chrissie

Friday, January 1, 2010

We're on Facebook and Twitter

Chrissie and I are getting technological on everyone. We have a facebook page and a twitter account. They are both brand new and just barely running, but wanted to spread the news. We'll keep you posted on how it's going.


One positive thing I've noticed about facebook is how cross-generational it has become. It might be able to eradicate the generation gap just a little by opening up lines of communication between the young, the not-so-young, and the old. Maybe it is a time-waster, but it's also a great way to keep in touch with those near and far, and to understand people on a deeper level without ever carrying on a face-to-face conversation. As ironic as it sounds, sometimes that's not such a bad thing.

2010 is going to be a great year. We'll keep you posted.

http://www.facebook.com/