May Our Songs All Be Sung

Betty Johnson Wagner **** Betty, Georgia Bell and me.

Well-here I go. Today is my last day in the fifties. Tomorrow. Sixty. 6-0. Sixty years.

Don't misunderstand me. I don't wish to be eternally young. That Dorian Grey thing is not doing it for me. I would not want to go back in time and do anything over again. Emily tried it in Thornton Wilder's "Our Town" and she quickly returned to the present. Writers who explore the idea of time travel all come back to the same conclusion. If we change the past, it is usually less than successful.



Years passing help us earn our stripes- life experiences truly do make us wiser. Not smarter perhaps, but certainly more attuned to what is important. Age makes us more grateful for our blessings. More appreciative. More willing to trust and to not grip the steering wheel so tightly. Years passing put things that need to be, firmly in the past - and things that need to be remembered, forever etched in our heart.


I had an early birthday present yesterday. Unexpected but wonderful. A letter from a friend. Not unusual for a birthday, but this one was particularly special.


When I close my eyes and think of college- I think of laughing so hard that Boone's Farm comes out of my nose; of climbing out of windows and down fire escapes; of cruising through Norman on my Raleigh bike, singing "Oh Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz....." at the top of my lungs. I think of trips to Amarillo and Alan Reed Ranch, where I caught a glimpse of a cowboy lifestyle I had never experienced. I tasted an artichoke for the first time. I schlepped through Europe with a backpack and a Eurail Pass- Flamenco dancing in Barcelona with handsome Chileans and attending a Verdi concert at Notre Dame in Paris. I skied Aspen, six to a room but first class all the way. All with my friend Betty.


Betty and I were in the same Kappa Kappa Gamma pledge class and could not have been more different. We truly looked like Mutt and Jeff. Me, short and Betty- Betty who walked in a room and everyone noticed. Tall, yes, but tall with a commanding presence, a whiskey voice and a style that was all her own. Betty was everything I was not. Confident. Cocky. Fearless. Experienced. Absolutely fabulous. I adored her. She took me under her long and lean wing and off we went. Under Betty's tutelage, I learned to not take myself so seriously. To cut myself some slack. To not be afraid of anything new or different. I found myself seizing the day and changing how I saw myself along the way.


We are forever friends but time has passed and we have not actually seen each other for years. We have tried many times but the constraints of family and jobs and just living has put our reunion on hold. It may be years and distance between us, but we both know each other so well, when we greet each other again, we won't miss a beat.


This turning 60 thing has created quite a buzz with all of us who are...(is that grammatically correct?) It's not the actual turning, it's how quickly the time has passed. Whoooosh. I am delighted than my mercurial and magic friend Betty has also felt the energy and reached out to me. I have missed her so.


So tomorrow comes. How lucky I am. People I love are making a milestone very special for me. We'll gather and reminisce but we will also make plans for the future. There are still curfews to break, uncharted lands to explore, still dances in the moonlight and the sound of laughter from those I love. A toast to Birthdays. May we all stay forever young! chrissie




Give yourself a treat- Bob Dylan singing his classic-Forever Young


www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sldgunY3Fw

16 and No More Counting

It was quite a weekend. As in many families, one of our children graduated from college. We joined throngs of parents to watch our scholar walk across the stage. With a sheepskin and a handshake, he was out of school and into the world.

My son does not do anything meekly. He entered the packed Lloyd Noble Center, waving from side to side and smiling broadly. To this Mother, his brilliance and exuberance was like a spotlight on a cast of thousands. How could anyone miss that darling boy in the never ending line of black clad twenty somethings? Certainly not the parents on row E, second tier, eleventh row.

If you have a child graduating, pat yourself on your back. College is a family effort. Raising him/her to value higher education, instilling the discipline it takes to attain a diploma, and then to pay for it- congratulations! Job well done.

Tom's Dad (and my husband) is particularly jovial. No more tuition. No more rent. No more books or labs or fees. When Tom graduated Saturday, we closed the door on 16 straight years of children at OU. Several years, two were in Norman at the same time. Husband Warren was smiling from ear to ear .

I, on the other hand, was feeling pretty melancholy. When my oldest started college, I still had three at home. Both my parents were alive. I was 16 years younger.

Since I also attended The University of Oklahoma, every time I would drive back into Norman, it was like coming home. I always ran into old friends, frequented places I had gone to years before, walked familiar streets and relived a happy and innocent time in my own life. Yes, I was living vicariously through my children's college experience. And it was grand.

Sure, we'll be back for football games, but only in and out. I loved really being there. My children were part of the college community and happy there. That made me happy too.

So, on we go. Another chapter closed. I have no more children in college. I am proud to report that Tom is already starting his career, which in this economy is an accomplishment in itself. Way to go son. I, luckily have grandchildren, which keeps me in at some kind of school. This Friday, Ms Devine (Fancy Nancy's role model) will be making an appearance at Sadler Arts Academy. After all, a Mom/Grandmother has got to keep her finger in it somewhere! chrissie

Time in a Bottle

It was a bittersweet Mother's Day. Sweet because all my children were home for the weekend. Bitter, because I lost a dear friend. Mary was special to me and special to my children. Her death was unexpected and jarring to all who loved her.

Losing someone who has been part of your own life story tends to make one introspective. I was contemplating life's deep messages and life's transient nature. Time Passing. Time Spent. Time Utilized. It was pretty heavy around here.

Until the honeysuckle.

When I was a little girl, my grandmother had a huge backyard. Along one fence, honeysuckle vines grew. When the vines bloomed in the spring, the air was thick with the flowers sweet scent. My cousins and I learned a secret about the blossoms. Our Nanie shared the secret with her daughters and her daughters shared the secret with their own children.

Did you know that fairies use the honeysuckle trumpets for fairy feast? Actual children could partake of what the fairies drank. Gently pull the flower from its end and a long stamen will pull out-be ready, because at the end of the stamen is a drop of honey. A tiny drop, but so sweet, one would fight the bees and butterflies for a taste.

When my own children were small, the honeysuckle bloomed in our own backyard. I shared my grandmother's secret and they would spend hours at the vines. Much talk was made about harvesting but results ended up in their mouths before any gathering could be accomplished. My children were ever on the alert for fairies but only fleeting glimpses of the tiny folk were reported. They were always hopeful they could share the feast with the fairies at another time.

Saturday, after the service, my family returned home and gathered on our deck. My boys were getting the grill ready for burgers, my girls were preparing the sides and the grandchildren were playing in the back yard. My husband and I observed them all, feeling grateful but melancholy.

Everyone converged on the deck about the same time and Annebelle and Wagner came running up to the patio. They held their hands out to me. In their fists were honeysuckle blossoms. Sweet, sweet honeysuckle blossoms. Blossoms held by my beautiful grandchildren. "Come on Oh-Mommy. Let's get more honey. Hurry, before the fairies get it all."

Its true. Who we are and who we were will be remembered after we are gone. The chain of lives is connected by those we love and who we share our time here with. My Grandmother, my Mother, myself, my children and my grandchildren- linked by flower. I knew in that instant that life is sweet, as sweet as children, standing at a honeysuckle vine. chrissie

Family Time Takes Timing

Eating Together. It matters. Could anything be more simple? It matters when our children are small and it matters when they become teenagers. A family dinner is important to instill good eating habits, for social interaction and for strengthening family ties. It's a time to communicate about the day. It's a time to reflect and renew. It's a time to give thanks. It's a time to be together.

Let me take this family dining idea a step further. I read alot about "just grab a pizza or a bucket of chicken, but sit down together." Certainly with all the activities and practices and events in the life of a family, drive-thru's and fast food are often the only options. I may be old-fashioned but sometimes "sitting down to dinner" should be more than a paper sack and squeeze packets of catsup. "Eating Right" is difficult with food to go. Eating Out is expensive! And "nothing says lovin' like something from your oven", right?

It takes a plan but our families are worth it. Casseroles can be made and frozen over the weekend. On Sunday, Dad can charcoal not only steaks but chicken breasts, pork chops and hamburgers for the rest of the week. Baked potatoes from the microwave, broiled tomatoes and a bag'o'salad with extra veggies make a meal. Try baked apples with the pork, whole wheat pasta tossed with fresh Parmesan and garlic butter and spinach salad from a sack with bacon bits, Durkee's onions rings, hard boiled eggs and Catalina dressing. Make fajitas out of the chicken breasts. Throw the peppers and onions on the grill (on foil) and then just wrap up. Shred the chicken and rewarm with the vegetables. Serve with flour tortillas. Hamburgers, baked beans and potato salad from the deli, fresh fruit and chips. Bingo. Four nights of meals.

Take dinner with your family one more step. Set the table. Use real napkins. Add candles or fresh flowers sometimes. Recognize a good grade, a soccer score or passing a driver's test. Celebrate the little things. Celebrate the big things. Enjoy being together.

Every once in a while, how about pulling out your wedding china? If those dishes just stay tucked away, our children will not associate them with anything "family." Aren't those darlings we love most of all worth the "good stuff"? And don't we want them to appreciate beautiful things, .................... and know which fork to use when they have dinner with the President? ( a favorite Wagner reason to use their manners).

Turn off the TV, don't pick up the phone, and keep the conversation positive. Dinnertime is NOT the time to argue, chastise or pull rank. A study by Columbia University has found that teens whose families eat together are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. They also have less stress, better grades and -- perhaps most importantly -- better relationships with us! Dinner around a table grounds our children, gives them a sense of who they are, and is the way to nurture and love them.

Here's one of those dishes you can make ahead and freeze. It is similar to Beth's at Harmony House and is a Wagner family favorite. It is good with rice and a grapefruit and avacado salad with Martinique Poppy Seed Dressing. Note: An easy way to jazz up rice is to brown every 1 cup rice (dry) in 5 tbsps melted butter. Transfer to casserole. Substitute chicken or beef broth for the water. Throw in some slivered almonds if you're feeling frisky. Bake, covered, at 325 for about 45 minutes or until done.


Swiss Chicken Casserole
1 T butter or margarine
1 cup milk
4 boneless chicken breasts
salt and pepper
8 slices swiss cheese
1 pkg stuffing mix
1 can mushroom soup
Melt butter in casserole dish. Add Chicken Breasts, cover with swiss cheese. Mix soup and milk and pour over chicken and cheese. S and P to taste. Mix stuffing according to package directions and put on top of casserole. Can be frozen at this point. When ready to bake: Bake, still covered, at 325 degrees for 1 1/2 hours or until bubbly. Serves four generously.
chrissie