Bon Voyage

Suumer means vacations and if you have a teen, you know the drill.  Often a teen does not want to leave their peers to travel with their family. It can get darn unpleasant.  I remember one trip to Colorado when my 15 year old had a bus schedule to get back to Muskogee.  I pointed out a 12 hour trip was 36 hours on the every stop Greyhound.  A sullen and scowling son retulrned home on our schedule, in our car.

Where you are going to vacation and what you will be doing when you get there are all important things that need to be decided upon. Giving your teen a say in these important decisions will give him/her some ownership of the family vacation. This will help him/her feel more responsible for the outcome of the trip and he/she will strive to enjoy the trip more.
If you already know where you are going, have your teen plan out a day trip or the family’s daily itinerary. Give him/her resources to help with the choices they have, either online or with a printed guide book. The trick is to commit to do whatever your teen has chosen. If he/she wants to sleep in until 10 a.m. before starting the day, then that is what you should let him do. The only way you should change anything is if it wouldn’t work dynamically. For example, at Disney you can’t get from Epcot to the Magic Kingdom in 5 minutes. You’ll need to point these facts out to your teen and allow him/her to make the adjustments.
Here are some resources online for your family to use:

• About.com Travel has wonderful recommendations on places all over the world. Another good source is  Family Vacations site. There is also a great collection of travel videos.
• MapQuest is one of the best online tools I have ever used for road trip planning.
• More travel videos can be found at TravelVideo.TV.
• Be sure to get the weather forecast at Weather.com.

Have fun.  Make memories.....and cross your fingers.  chrissie

$$$$$$ and your Teen

If you have more than one teen, you may have noticed their ideas of money are totally different.  New research is shedding a little light on the phenomenon. How one is cautious and careful, the other a risk taker when it comes to finances.

A group called Arizona Pathways to Life Success for University Students has identified three distinct money identities:  pathfinder, drifter or follower.  Founder, Soyeon Shim identifies that each behavior has its own pattern of strengths and weaknesses affecting what kids know and how they use it.  Overcoming the weaknesses ensures that kids can get their wallets under control and don't give into financial stresses that eat away at relationships and confidences.  "Financial independence is not just about money management," says Shim.  "It's about life management."

You know they're Pathfinders when.... they have all the money answers and tell you what to do.  They are the readers and researchers who won't hesitate to say what they think.  They probably had lemonade stands when they were small., loved selling items for school fundraisers and save money instead of spending it. As teens, they probably are already interested in jobs, investing and future careers.
Unfortunately, their enthusiasm may not match their ability.  APLUS suggests you build on their leadership skills by including your teen in financial decision making processes and offering chances to nurture your young entrepreneur's business skills. 

You know they're Drifters when..... they roll the eyes during financial discussions and are not interested in balancing or budgeting.  The drifter is a spendthrift and does not know the value of money and the relationship between earning it and spending it.  These teens usually just have a handout and expectations of an unlimited source (you) to furnish their financial needs.  If he blows his allowance, put away the billfold and explain that financial choices have consequences.

You know they're Followers when.....their money attitudes are merely echoes of your own advice.  They may be knowledgeable, but not confident.   Begin to give your follower teen opportunities to make their own decisions.  Talk about risks and consequences.  Be a teacher when you comparison shop or plan a large investment. 

It's important to remember, there is no "One size fits all" when it comes to the way teens learn about money.  Identifying which category your child falls into will be a start to effective financial parenting.  chrissie

Another 4th Comes and Goes

Hope all had a Grand 4th of July. I have spent my 4th at the exact same location for 48 years. That was kind of hard to type. 48 years! It is hard to imagine so many years have passed but the content of those years is what's important.

There's an excited 6 year old, waiting for her Dad to light her sparkler. I next see a snapshot of a buck teethed, bird- legged girl running madly, a Black Cat firecracker spewing sparks behind her. Another year? Chief, my wonder horse is prominent in this 4th of July parade, and we all ride our horses, decorated with red, white and blue pom-poms, made by our Mother's.

Years pass. There's a group of young girls, perfectly coiffed, standing apart and watching the festivities. Actually, out of the corners of our mascara rimmed eyes, watching the boys we're growing up with...... now much more interesting. Flash forward. Another 4th and we all return, this time in college t-shirts, regrouping and reconnecting.

We proudly share our newest loves to meet everyone and join in the festivities. Many come and go but eventually, each of us introduces the one we will marry. They too find themselves dressing like madmen, marching in a parade without spectators, to music no one can hear.

Babies come. Babies grow. Now the photographs have different faces, but amazingly, in this place, nothing ever changes. There is comfort that here, things stay the same. In a changing world, often turbulent and frightening, it is comforting and affirming to celebrate an event in the same way with people you love. We are proud to be Americans and recognize our blessings every time we gather for the 4th. We are proud to be Oklahomans and celebrate how good our state has been to us as we catch up at the river.

It is not so hard to watch the years pass when you do it with people you love. As I gathered once again with my family, and the friends I have known for ever, looking back was a pleasure and a gift. And looking forward isn't so bad either!!! chrissie

Yankee Doodle Went to Town

Another 4th of July is almost on us and I am already making lists. I am also getting that familiar frantic feeling. I went back and noted a blog from years gone by and thought it was appropriate. I will try to remember my own advice as I prepare for another 4th of July. Oh and Happy Birthday America!
Hope today finds you with a smile on your face after the 4th of July holiday. Ours was the filled with family, friends and traditions that have not changed since I was in the 3rd grade. Flags, fireworks and food. Parades, parties, and perfectly lovely catching ups.

I do have one complaint. Why is it that when all my tribe is converging in one place, I feel it necessary to become Super Mom? I know many of you do the same thing. We kill ourselves the week before, and once everyone gets there, it's the being together that is special, not the ironed sheets or waxed floor.

Case in point. I got it in my head that we just HAD to have homemade ice cream for the holiday. There is nothing better than peach ice cream, straight off the paddles. So....To Porter for peaches. Then Braums for half and half and whipping cream. The grocery for rock salt and sugar. Oops, forgot the ice...another stop. All the while, my group is arriving and you know, being together.

I am in the kitchen, making the custard for the base. Swimming? "No, I have to keep the eggs from curdling." Layering the ice and the salt. Ding Dang container won't spin. Start over. Visiting out on the deck? "No, have to undo and reload." Finally begins to rotate. Make note: Grandchildren could care less about the process. Add ice. Add salt. Can't hear the conversations of my family and friends over the whir-whir of the motor. Finally the maker stops. Oh yeah. Empty and repack with ice and salt so the concoction can "ripen".

At last, the great unveiling. I unscrew the lid and pull the paddle from the canister. The peaches and vanilla ice cream are in soft mounds and the results smell like summer. It's perfect. It's delicious. It's ready and .....there's no one here to taste it but me. Everyone has gone. To the lake. To float the river. To shoot fireworks. To play tennis. To celebrate the holiday.

So, I empty the salt and ice, clean up the machine and put the ice cream in the freezer. Anyone who has made ice cream knows it is never as good as when it first comes out of the machine. My family has missed the moment. Actually, while I trying to be Martha Stewart, I was missing the moments. Lots of them.

I will remember next time. It's my holiday too. I'll say 100 times, "Keep It Simple." "Keep It Simple." "Keep it Simple."

Now, I've got to run. I had the idea to needlepoint belts for all the men in my family. There's only 6 months until Christmas and that's a whole lot of stitches. chrissie