A Candle That Burns at Both Its Ends

Anyone who thinks that American teens are lazy does not know teenagers very well. Of course, there are the slovenly teens whom we might call "low energy" people in our politically correct world. But, I am hopeful that time and experience and owning their own home will eventually catapult those teens into the world of domestic responsibility in which ice cream bowls are not hidden under beds, Coke cans do not cover the floor, and wet towels are hung up to dry.

What I am really referring to are those teens who go to school seven hours a day, play a sport and participate in club activities, have a job, and also have chores to do at home. To their credit, many also manage to maintain straight A's. They also have homework, a social life, and church activities. This is far from lazy. This is a person putting in a fourteen to seventeen hour work day.

And, this is commendable. There is nothing wrong with hard work. It has made America great. It builds character and teaches us how to be self-sufficient. But, even for buoyant teenagers, somewhere along the line, something has to give.

To paraphrase Edna St. Vincent Millay, a candle that burns at both its ends gives off a lovely light, but it will not last the night. It won't even last through first hour at school. What ends up being cast aside is school work. If your teen is not working to put food on the table, save for college or a special ski or senior trip, pay the car insurance, car payment, or gas if you can't afford it, then it is possible your teen is robbing Peter to pay Paul, so to speak.

They say money may be here today and gone tomorrow: the only true investment is in yourself. But, too many teens are trading in an educational investment in themselves for working to have a $170 cell phone or a $160 pair of jeans, both of which will be obsolete six months from now. Maybe something we have forgotten is that doing without builds character, too, maybe as much as working a part time job. In some instances, maybe more.

But, my point is that we often conceptualize our teens as lazy, when they are really overworked and tired as dogs, both mentally and physically. We accuse them of being slow to hand in their work at school. We accuse them of forgetting to take out the trash at home. But, the human mind requires down time to rest, to absorb what it has learned, and to digest what it has observed. When does the teen have time to fit that in?

It is so easy to be critical when the trash isn't taken out, the dishes aren't done, or beds aren't made. Step back and try to assess your child's overall integrity objectively. Just tell your teen every so often that you are proud of what he/she has accomplished and acknowledge how hard they are working. And, bake some cookies. Leave them on the counter with a note. Your child will appreciate them when he comes in at 9:00 or 10:00 or 11:00 at night and then tries to hit the books for another two hours.

Peanut Butter Kiss Cookies
1 roll refrigerated peanut butter cookie dough
1 sack Hershey's Kisses
Granulated sugar
Pour some sugar onto a plate. Roll about 1 tablespoon of cookie dough into a ball. Roll in sugar. Bake according to package directions. In the meantime, unwrap the same number of Hershey's Kisses as you have cookies. After you have removed them from the oven, immediately press a Kiss into the middle of the cookie.

Chocolate Ice Box Cookies
Boil the following for 3 minutes:
1/2 cup milk
2 cups sugar
1 stick margarine (not butter)
3 tablespoons cocoa
Remove from heat and add:
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 tsp. vanilla
2 cups oatmeal
Drop by spoonfuls onto cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. When one layer is full, stack another sheet on top and continue dropping by spoonfuls until done. Place in refrigerator to cool. Remove to airtight container and continue storing in fridge for better flavor.

And good luck to you and your child on those upcoming semester exams! Always - Melony