ICT2 (I Can Text Too)

Last weekend there was an editorial by Craig Harris in the Muskogee Phoenix. His topic was kids tech lingo. If you have ever watched your child respond to a text, you know how savvy they are. They whip the phone out with lightening speed and send a message back with an introduction, thesis and conclusion. Everything is abbreviated. Shortcuts do save on those pesky key strokes when teens are communicating during history class or driving down the highway at 60 miles an hour.

Examples shared by Mr. Harris include acronyms parents should watch out for. Some particularly alarming ones are POS (parent over shoulder), LMIRL (Let's meet in real life), WYRN (what's your real name) IWSN, (I want sex now) and RYO, (Roll your own). His column continues with some more innocent and amusing examples. DTTG (Don't go there girlfriend), GLG (good looking guy), TLITBC (that's life in the big city) and ADIP, (another day in paradise).

I say fair is fair. It's time for parents to jump on the texting bandwagon. We can all get with these new smoke signals and communicate with our children. Won't our adolescents be thrilled! Imagine, sitting at the mall with friends, Penelope Sue's phone signals a text message. Penelope eagerly whips her phone out to see who is texting. AUBY...(are you behaving yourself?) Cody Wayne is squirming in the balcony at Sunday service and you notice his stealthy retreat, right before the sermon starts. Buzz.... his phone vibrates.... GSE&SDI-(God sees everything and so do I.)

Consider your seasonal shopping trips. No eye contact is made between you and your 15 year old until you and your credit card meet him at the cash register. You notice (from an accepted distance) little Johnny caressing a $160.00 pair of athletic shoes and making his way toward a clerk. NGHlvM (not gonna happen, love Mom). Texting would also be handy for inappropriate clothing choices our girls are making. OMCDB. (Over my cold, dead body).

I am liking this. Here's a couple more. Curfew has passed and there is no sign of sweet thing. IKWNXTBT. (I know we'll both enjoy all this extra time we'll be spending together). The grass is up above your knees because your teen just has not had time to mow the yard. D&ILVWY$- (Dad and I are off to Las Vegas with your allowance. Thanks!) Even better, there's mumblings about possible piercings, tattoos and alternative lifestyles. D&IROTEWYC$. (Dad and I are off to Europe with your college money. Bon Voyage Stud.)

This messaging could also be used for positive re enforcement. A co-worker runs into your child at lunch. Your son said hello, and,.... shook hands! With quivering fingers you text, CBPBsMH, (caught being polite, be still my heart). At Parent/Teacher conferences you are informed a grade has been brought up and the instructor notes extra effort......Gasp! NWDUW2G2C?, (Now, I'm listening. Where did you want to go to college?) And a catch all for anything positive? PPP (Particularly Proud Parent) .

Parent to parent communication would be interesting. Your phone signals a text at 11:30 one night. JHNOMPS-(just heard...insert your child here... name on my police scanner). Another parent notices your little darling seated in front of her at the movie. DHNIP. (Date's hands not in the popcorn. ) You hear the familiar mantra, "but everyone's doing it...., wearing it......, buying it.....," and with just a quick check of the parent network, a unanimous and resounding NOMW (not on my watch!) nips all discussion in the bud.

Teacher-parent communication could be short and sweet. ZZZZZ (Sleeping in class). FFFF (Failing in Class) . GRRRR (A horse's rear in class). NoHAHA (Not as funny as he thinks he is in class). Every time a teacher would pull a cell phone out, 30 students would snap to attention.

You get the idea. Let's join the tech revolution. We can now embarrass and humiliate our children in this simple and stress free manner. No more scenes. No more tears. We don't even have to look at them. Just text admonitions, compliments, threats and sage advice to our children. TTU4I. (They'll thank us for it).