Hallmark has introduced a new line of greeting cards, the "Journeys" series. Yes, you can still find the vitriolic old lady, cavorting dogs wearing birthday hats and the always cheery bluebird on a sunlit window sill, but something else is on the card aisle.
Welcome to the New Normal
Times have changed.
Times have changed.
Issues have changed.
Our conversations about
what's going in our lives
have changed.
Real cards for the real life
challenges we face today.
Journeys
Brought to you by the caring folks at Hallmark
Four categories of sentiments are offered. There's "Show Support" (for coming out of the closet, addressing addictions or quitting bad habits); "Help Cope" (for infertility, miscarriage or caring for an aging parent); "Give Hope" ( for those awaiting test results, undergoing chemo or having surgery); and "Life Spirits" ( for job loss, depression, divorce or any all around bad situation).
Writer Meagan Daum believes we can learn a lot from these cards- and not just that coming
out of the closet falls into the same category as fighting addiction. (who knew?). Topics that before have left one stuttering, avoiding eye contact and frantically searching for the nearest exit can now be addressed easily with three dollars + tax and a 39 cent stamp.
"I'm sorry you lost your job but remember, your job is not who you are.
(open the card)
You have many great qualities and that's all that really matters.
We believe in you as much as ever.
Make sure you and all your co-workers sign this card and put the yellow (cheery color) envelope at the top of the poor guy's box as he packs his desk, his family pictures and his Company Service Plaques. Stand aside and wave gaily as he walks out the door. Now, doesn't that make you feel better?
What you did was amazing, beyond generous and kind.
(open the card)
You started a miracle. You gave the gift of life.
Could there be a better way to thank a family that has just lost a loved one, yet been generous and altruistic enough to follow though on an organ donation?
Hey Burl, stop at Wal Mart and let me run in and get a
pack of smokes and one of them Journey cards.
Want to send one right on to that young-un's folks.
Naw. I'm fine. New ticker is pumping jest like clockwork.
For people experiencing these issues, these short-cut sentiments desensitize and trivialize.
Drug addictions,and divorce, and eating disorders, and alcoholism, and sexual orientation, are personal life experiences, best shared with close friends and family. Summing up a rigorous and grueling bout of chemo treatment in 20 words or less does not smack of care and concern. Daum believes these cards give us permission to stick our nose into other people's business and at the same time, get credit for being thoughtful.
It is also disturbing that card manufacturers have also convinced caring folk that sending a "sorry about your bitter divorce" card is like a warm hug. It's not. Think homemade soup, a phone call, flowers from your garden, a hand knit scarf or an evening out, whatever is appropriate for the situation. The morning I lost my Mother a dear friend arrived with pots of pink geraniums for the planters on Mother's porch and cleaning supplies to get everything in order before people began to arrive. That is caring enough to give the very best.
Our children model what they see. Kindness and empathy are acquired behaviors. When my children were small, we made May Baskets and delivered them to friends and relatives who no longer had children at home. I can still see my little ones, sneaking up to a door, placing the basket on the porch, ringing the doorbell and sprinting back to the car. "Peal out Mom. Go. Go. Go! Were May Baskets my bright idea? Heavens no. When I was small, my Mother and I made doily cones with ribbon handles and filled them with whatever was blooming the 1st day of May. Did my Mother originate this tradition? No, her Mother, my Nanie did. Now a Mother herself, my oldest is talking about May basket surprises with her little girl.
It's our job to pass a kinder and gentler world on to our children. If we don't, who will? Oh yes. Now I remember. Hallmark.
These are great. How about, A doctor can just buy a card that says something like
ReplyDelete"Remember how I always told you to quit smoking?
(open Card)
Well, just light one off the other cause it isn't going to make any difference any more."
Or a guy wanting a divorce
"These twenty years have been grand
But time marches on (open card)
and I've found someone sweet not quite so in far down the road."
Can we develop one for people who bring their baby to the show and then get into a cursing shouting match with another wacko when the baby starts crying right at a crucial speech in the movie? Something like, "Hey, your little one would be really proud of you...(open card)...your "French" is impeccable!"
ReplyDeleteor how bout placing one under a windshield after observing a "parent" smoking non stop inside a car with little ones in the back seat,,
ReplyDeleteIf you're going to expose your kid to second hand smoke
(open card)
at least open the *%)!&# window
Condolences or sympathy card from a grown child:
ReplyDeleteDaddy you always said wear our seat belts. I hope there are seat belts on your hospital bed. or from jail and need money: Daddy you always said do as I say not as I do, but I only learned from watching you not from all your words. I'm in jail and need some money can you help?
From a gently aging mid lifer
ReplyDeleteI would get to you
wherever you are
you are my life
you are my star
I will climb mountains
I'll swim the seas
(open)
If I could only find my darn car keys
I believe I understand (and agree) with your point that sending a card for certain situations feeds or promotes the hectic, multi-tasking lifestyle families are prone to nowadays. Even worse, I've been guilty of sending e-cards for birthdays and Valentine's Day (to which I was quickly admonished by specific female, family members).
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I think there are a place for the cards you identified in your blog. What about less formal or intimate relationships? Or even personalities where a card more than suffices? There have been times in my personal life when I've appreciated a card, and appreciated an offer to do more (IE. clean my house, bring over some dinner), but politely refused. Often in times of crisis I appreciate me and my immediate family's solitude.
For me, receiving a card from someone demonstrates the time and effort someone spent in recognizing or acknowledging me.
I wonder though, if the problem in our present society is more people thinking of one another at all as opposed to thinking a card will suffice in someone's time of need.
I do think you have a valid point. I didn't write this piece, Chrissie did, and she has always had a knack for knowing exactly the right thing to do at exactly the right time. So, I can't really speak for her and should wait for her response, but I think she would say that your point is what she was also saying, that people don't think about each other at all anymore. Maybe not that we are too wrapped up in ourselves (like narcissistic), but our time is too filled up. More now than in the past because our expectations for our lives are so much greater than most people's in the past.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of Aunt Bee in Mayberry sitting in the front porch swing at night just talking to Andy and Opie...doesn't happen anymore very often because Opie's at work 3 days a week and has baseball 3 days a week and hangs out with his friends the free night, and mom is at work and three days a week mom and dad go watch Opie play baseball...time is a precious commodity now, not to be spent actually caring too much about outsiders???
Your point is well taken.
Melony
J, now it's me. I agree with you 110 %. I am a big card sender. I love to find just the right one for the right occasion. Valentines, Easter, Thinking of You, Birthday... If I was not particularly close with an acquaintance who has lost a loved one, I would definitely send an appropriate sympathy card. If they have actually lost someone, ie, now on a milk carton, I would not send a mass - marketed card.
ReplyDeleteThat was more the point in discussing these Journey's cards. Things like divorce, drug or alcohol addiction, rehab, organ donation, or a job loss are too personal and serious to be addressed with a greeting card. If I am not comfortable and familiar enough with an individual to do or say something personal, I feel like these sensitive and delicate subjects are just none of my business.
Something else. Mel was talking about Aunt Bee on the front porch. Maybe blogs are kind of like those easy
conversations...without the lemonade. Chrissie
speaking of "when you care enough to send the very best..." when my mother passed, a woman who was not a close friend sent a plant to my family. she also sent one yellow rose to my small son who had just lost his grandma. wow. what a difference that made on the worst day (so far) of his life. some people just know how to leave an imprint on your heart forever.
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking the same thing about blogging, Chrissie. I think the computer technology has forced people apart, but ironically we can all be closer together at the same time. And, we can know more people and hear more opinions, but never see the people with whom we are talking face to face. It's a connect and a disconnect at the same time. Kids are the same way - they get IMs and texts all the time from people they can't figure out who it is, but they love to do it. You are right, though, if you are not close to a person, some of those cards would just be weird and nobody's business. Besides, there are plenty of beautiful blanl cards in which to ascribe a personal note to need a written one to do it for you.
ReplyDeleteWeighinin
ReplyDeleteWhat a perfectly lovely idea. I am going to file that one away. When my older children lost their Gramdmother, something that meant alot for my kids was that several of their friends "came to call" (as is the tradition here in the South). It was healing and helpful when everything seems so strange and upside down. C