Give Me Just A Little More Time

It seems Mel and I bounce around on both ends of the parenting spectrum. My last entry was about parents who hover and fight all their children's battles. This week I was stopped by a Mom who was concerned about a rocky transition her new middle - schooler was facing and how helpless the Mother feels. Secondly, a teacher friend confided how few parents attended his Parent/Teacher conferences, in particular, those who had been specifically contacted by the teacher to attend. So, forgive me as I see-saw back from the too muchers to the not enoughers.

Let's face it - a transition to middle or high school can be intimidating for both kids and parents. One thing parents struggle with is trying to find the right amount of involvement after elementary school. Often, participation becomes less and the chasm between school and home lengthens.

Finding the best ways to support teenagers in secondary school can be confusing for many reasons: 1.) parents think they hear other parents saying they should not be involved at the higher level schools; 2.) parents know they must give their teenager more ownership for their own success while they practice responsibility and time management, and 3.) teens will sometimes push back on parents, wishing them to be less visible in secondary school. So, what us the right degree of involvement? What does parent involvement look like in middle and high school?

Parent involvement is essential in secondary schools...yet involvement looks and feels different than it did in elementary school. It is more difficult to find a niche. No more Halloween cupcakes for homeroom or running copies in the office. But the experts say to stay actively involved and engaged in your child's education. Why?
· By involving yourself in your child's middle or high school you are showing him or her that you value education. When you attend school events you are demonstrating commitment to education. This may be one of the most powerful ways to instill this value in your teen.
* Students with parents who are involved in their school tend to have better academic performance, fewer behavioral problems, and they are more likely to complete high school.
* Despite the impression you may receive from your teenager, recent research shows that teens want their parents involved, and they feel that parent involvement in high school is even more important than in elementary school.
* The relationships you develop at school will give you information and insight as to your teen's world, friendships, and the expectations your child is faced with.
* Your involvement lets the school staff know that you value education and that you are someone with whom they can have a relationship. This can have a direct and positive effect on their educational experience.
* Should issues arise at the school, or with your child, you will already have relationships with people there that can help you.
* Schools need your help. Schools are often understaffed due to tight budgets and they can use your help in many ways.
* The more in touch you are with your community, and your child's friends and friends’ families, the more you are able to knowledgeably support your teen.
* If you want to see change, the best way to impact it is to be involved from the inside.

What is the right level of involvement? Much of this will depend on you and your teenager.
Here are a few guidelines:
# Read all the paperwork and access web sites from your teen's school. Have a sense of what is going on there; keep all phone numbers, calendars, bus info, and contact information handy.
# Be sure to attend the school open house offered in the fall. It is important to meet your child's teachers, and this venue provides the best way to do so.
# If your child has particular issues, it is appropriate to discuss these with your teenager’s guidance counselor and/or teachers. Work with the school to address issues; they can guide you about working within their system.
# Viewing your teenager's assignment notebook regularly can be an excellent way to stay informed about school assignments without being over-bearing. (Note: MPS has on-line access to your student's grades. You may also directly access individual teachers via E-Mail.
# If your child is participating in school sports or other activities, be sure to attend the games. This provides you with the opportunity to meet other parents and some of your teen's new friends.

So, get engaged. Get involved. Make your child's middle school and high school years a top priority. Parent involvement: It is still your responsibility when your teenagers enter secondary school. Involvment makes a difference in your child's success and paves the way for a bright and shiny future.