The Night Before Christmas

Christmas Eve.  The presents are wrapped and under the tree.  The table is set with holiday china and crystal that catches the sunlight as it comes in through the window.  The fire is laid, the stockings are hung, the wine is chilled. It's nice to be organized and ready, I guess........................

But there is a certain part of me that misses Christmas past.  Frantic last minute shopping trips to help Santa with a unidentified and here -to -newly named item on a six year old's list.  Counters of decorated cookies with sprinkles and icing globs found upstairs and three rooms away.  Christmas programs and last minute costumes,  unwilling shepherds and over-eager angels.  Staying up late to wrap unobserved and getting up early with one who ate too much fudge the night before. Putting complicated toys together Christmas Eve, so tired you were cross-eyed.   Driving four children in four different directions-all at the same time.  I never knew how much I would miss the rides.

Later, when my children were older, Christmas meant, out of school.  The door slamming, the fridge opening, the phones ringing.  Kids sleeping late, out on four wheelers, sleeping over.  The joy of no routine and no agenda. Christmas break was grand.

Now I have the time to polish silver that belonged to my Grandmother.  I can try a complicated recipe that takes both time and practice.  I can write actual messages on my Christmas cards and truly wrap packages with wrapping paper, tape and bows- no dropping in the oh -so- quick sacks.  If I wanted to I could gild oranges in gold and silver, needlepoint tree skirts with my own design and shoot, even plant my own Christmas trees.  How very Martha Stewart of me.

Yeah. Right.  No matter what, there never seems to be enough time, getting ready for Christmas.  Its just how we get ready that changes.  Tis  the Season.  Merry Christmas!  chrissie

Checking it Twice!!!

 

 

 

Stuck for teen Christmas gift ideas  and it's coming down to the wire?  Here are some great quick and easy ideas that should please your 13+ somethings.

1. Junk Food

The grocery store is open and chocolate and gum are always welcome. This is also a great idea if your teen got a big gift that broke the budget but you need to fill the stocking as Christmas candy is always on sale the week before Christmas.

 

2. Gas Card

If your teen drives, this is an awesome idea. With gas prices going through the roof, a teenager needs all the extra money for gas he/she can get.

3. Free Movie Rental

Pick up a card at the local video store or get a subscription at NetFlix.com for a year.

4. Magazine Subscription

Simply go to the nearest pharmacy and pick up a copy a magazine you think your teen your teen will enjoy and send in the subscription card that is located in the folds of its pages. Then write out on a Christmas card that the subscription should start in a month, until then enjoy this copy.

5. Music

Gift certificates at iTunes.com or at the local CD store will be greatly appreciated. Music is the way to many teens’ hearts.

6. Money

Everyone likes money, and here are a few suggestions on how to give it.

7. Amazon Gift Card

Anything a teen could want is at Amazon - books, makeup, video games, you name it. Gift cards are easy to purchase right on the site. You can go high-tech and emailed the gift certificate code right to the teen.

8. Restaurant Gift Certificate

Where is the local hang out? For my teens it was a diner in the center of town. Go there and get a gift certificate that your teen can use the next time he/she goes with his/her friends.

 

9. Free Car Wash Certificate

Does your teen have his/her own car? A car wash certificate in the winter is a very thoughtful gift.

10. Movie Tickets

I’m always amazed at how much it costs to go to the movies. It is not a wonder that most teens prefer group dating – no one has the cash to pay for their date too! Sorry for the tangent, but if you get this for your teen be sure to include enough to take a friend..

 

The best thing about the above suggestions?  No gift wrapping!!!  chrissie

 

 

Plug in Your Teen

What will you be when you grow up?
 Is your teen on the track to a meaningful future? Are you finding out what a joy it can be to help make the most of how God has wired him or her?
Many of us want to help our teens dream big, fulfilling, God-honoring dreams. But how do we do that?
The first step is to understand the great experiment known as your teen. In all of human history, there's never been another person with your teen's exact mix of God-given personality, talents, interests and spiritual gifts. As the two of you get to know that unique wiring through self-tests like the ones in the book Wired by God, you'll start to see which kinds of dreams might make a good fit.

Your Teen's Basic Bent

Here are some questions you can use anytime to find out how your young person is wired.

• "What really drives you?"
• "What's the most fun you've ever had helping someone else?"
• "What dreams do you think God has given you?"
• "What can you do that most people can't?"
• "What ability would you most like to develop? Why?"
• "If  hired you for a summer job, what would you hope it would be? Why?""

Remember that your purpose is to listen and learn, to better understand and appreciate your teen's uniqueness. This is not the time for lectures and advice. Figuratively speaking, you need to have big ears and a small mouth, tough skin and a tender heart.
Another way to learn by questioning is to talk with others in your teen's life: teachers, youth group leaders, coaches, school counselors, Scout leaders, Sunday school teachers, parents of close friends. Ask what they've observed about your child's likes and dislikes, interests and passions, abilities and aptitudes.
Often these people will confirm your own observations. Sometimes, though, they'll describe a side of your teen that you hadn't noticed — or offer an insight you'd overlooked.

Last week we looked at Kanakuk's Joe White observations and advice about raising responsible and fulfilled children.   What follows is how to continue to plug into what makes your teen click.  Introspective thinking is not something a teen may naturally do.  Below is a simple process to help them identify passions and interests. Perhaps your child may even happen on their own destiny!  chrissie

 Your Teen's Interests and Passions

Here's a way to help your teen pinpoint his or her interests and natural abilities. It's based on "The Vision Quest," a tool developed by Tim Sanford, a counselor at Focus on the Family who works with a lot of young people.
Give your teen these instructions:
On a piece of paper, list the things you've done since the fourth grade. We're talking about academics, sports, social events, the arts, student government, hobbies, interaction with family and friends, personal adventures, youth activities, socials, special events, camps, worship, leadership, volunteer work, mission trips, "helping out," clubs, service projects, job duties, volunteer or assigned tasks, and chores.
You don't have to compile your whole list at once. Allow two or three weeks, adding to it as new memories come to mind. If you don't know whether to include something in the list, go ahead and put it down anyway.
Now give each activity a "positive" or a "negative" rating. How did it turn out? How did it affect you?
After several days, pull your worksheet out and think again about the events to which you gave a negative value. Look for patterns. For example, if events connected with mechanical things (fixing the car, building something, helping with props at the school play) consistently ended in disaster, you're probably not the mechanical type.
Now move to the positive side of the worksheet. Ask yourself the questions below as you look over those events. After evaluation, guide your child through examination and discussion.

• "Is there a pattern or anything these events have in common?"
• "Are some of the activities things I'd like to pursue more?"
• "How can I begin doing more of these kinds of activities?"
• "What kinds of qualities, talents, character traits and skills do these activities require?"
• "Do I have some of those qualities and traits?"
• "Are any circumstances or events missing from my worksheet? If so, what are they, and why might they be missing?"
• "Are there any activities I've never done before, but I'd like to try?"

Give Me Just a Little More TIme

Focus on the Family (http://www.focusonthefamily.com)  is a great resource for advise and practical guidance while you are raising your teen. Dr James Dobson founded the Christian based organzation over 30 years ago.  It's message is simply, raising our children is the most important event in our life. Their mission is simple.  Helping families thrive.

What follows is the first part of a series by Joe White.  Joe is director of the Kanakuk Camps in Branson, Missouri.  In the series, Joe stresses how crtitical it is to interact and share actual time with your teenager.  Actual time.  Now there's an interesting idea!!  chrissie

Walking the Walk

We parents of teens are called to leave our paths and get on theirs. Why? To be sure they aren't alone. To encourage them through the thickets and storms. To rejoice when there's something to rejoice about.

When we walk alongside our teens, we usually need to follow their rules. We're there to do what they want to do. We're choos­ing to actively participate in their world. It might mean joining a neighborhood softball team, or trying out for a community or church theater production, or shooting hoops every night after work, or chaperoning a field trip to a french fry factory.

The fun of doing something together can fill your scrapbook with pages of the best times of these all-too-brief child-raising years. Remember — the days can seem long, but the years are short.

Walking alongside happens when we step into our teens' shoes and see life from their perspective. We don't do it once a year; we do it often.

But where do you begin? How do you walk alongside a kid who may not even like the idea? We'll explore this throughout this article series.

Here are some good ways to discover how to walk alongside your son or daughter.
1. Find out what he loves to do. Then do it with him, rather than just cheering him on from the stands. Sometimes what he loves will be obvious, but sometimes it may surprise you both. That was the case with my son Brady, who wanted to be a basketball player. But the pressure of basketball was brutal. I saw potential for something else: music. That didn't come naturally for either my wife or me; she'd gotten kicked out of choir in sixth grade, and the same happened to me in my junior year of high school.
"Brady," I said, "look at those hands of yours. You've got the most beautiful fingers. I can see those on a keyboard. I can see them running up and down the frets of a guitar."
"Well, I'm not interested in music," he replied.
But by the time he was a college freshman, Brady wanted a guitar.
Today he's recording his third album, writing great lyrics and making beautiful music. He sings all over the country; we do youth crusades together. And if you think it's helped our relation­ship, you're right.
2. Make the most of summer. Walking alongside should happen all year, but the best season for growing with your teen is summer. Before school lets out, get a calendar and note how many days you have until fall classes begin. Find a block of time each day when you can put your priorities, work, hobbies, and worries aside and be there 100 percent for your teen. Plan together what you can do — fishing, camping, shopping, grilling, tennis, whatever your teen would enjoy.
3. Take a wild adventure together. Recently my wife took our grandson on a one-day canoe trip down the beautiful Buffalo River in northwest Arkansas. It was gorgeous, safe, and surprisingly inexpensive (canoes rented for just $20 a day). Another family I know hikes in the Rocky Mountains every year.
4. Ask what your teen has never done but would like to try. Go try it together. Learn something new. Go with an open mind and a sense of humor — like the lady who, when learning to ski, told everyone that the only rule for the day was to laugh whenever she fell. Look for classes in a foreign language, dance, art, computer software. Take piano or guitar lessons. Sign up for a sports clinic.
5. Serve the needy together. Homeless shelters, the Salvation Army, soup kitchens, food banks, convalescent homes, tutoring — the list of volunteer opportunities never gets shorter. One father-son duo did painting and simple repairs at a home for troubled teens, then painted playground equipment for a school in a poor neighborhood. My oldest daughter and I went on a one-week mission trip to Trinidad when she was 13, and it was the best thing we've ever done together. We found common goals, common ground, and made memories that helped us through the most difficult years of our relationship.
6. Find out what your teen dreads doing. Ask whether she wants your help with that PowerPoint project about bacteria or that awkward phone call to a friend whose sister just passed away. What kind of assistance does she want? Remember to follow her rules — for example, letting her be the boss about where things go when you help clean her room.
7. Walk alongside your teen spiritually. You can connect to your teen and connect your teen to God by praying and reading and memorizing Scripture with your teen daily.
Just 10 minutes a day can give your relationship an "eternal touch." School may get what's in the middle, but I was deter­mined to "bookend" my kids' days with a short devotion at the breakfast table and a Bible-and-prayer time before bed.
Three of my four kids really liked our twice-daily times together. I never forced my kids to be part of them; we only had those times when I was welcome. For the uninterested teen, I was like an old, faithful dog — ready in the corner, but not pushy. This old dog didn't jump on the reluctant child every time she came through the door, saying, "Let's talk, let's have a devotional." I was just available.
This should be "sanctuary time," a safe place in today's uncer­tain world. Don't use it for lecturing, criticism, or manipulating your teen with God's Word. With those ground rules, your teen can look forward to spending time with you.
My advice is to ditch the word "devotional," too. It's not Sun­day school; it's your set-apart time, your quiet time, your sanctuary.
8. Bring your teen into your world. When I ran errands, I'd invite one of my teens to come along. If I was speaking at a youth rally, there was a place for my kids on the team coordinating the event. When my teens came home from a party or a date, I invited them to "debrief" over a bowl of cereal with me.
9. Discover your teen's dreams. There's a dream inside every young person, as sure as there's a yolk inside every chicken's egg. Help your teen identify his strengths and work together toward realizing his dream. My book Wired by God is one tool that can help you do that. Guide your teen in setting his own goals; then investigate ways for him to gain skill and experience.
In our family, Courtney enjoyed gymnastics and volleyball; Brady was into guitar and basketball; Cooper liked weight train­ing and football; Jamie pursued cheerleading. I was the lucky guy who got to catch passes, spot flips, and cheer like crazy. Listening to saxophone practice and retrieving tens of thousands of basket­ball shots helped build foundations for friendships with my kids that I enjoy as an "old guy" today.
10. Remember that the relationship is everything. During those crazy teen years, my relationship with my kids was top priority. The media were telling them to have fun through sex, drugs and alcohol; peers were telling them that par­ents were no longer relevant. I wanted to earn a hearing by being the person my kids loved hanging out with the most.
No matter how you decide to walk alongside your teen, remember that it's not a chore. It's not a competition, either. The goal is to learn about your teen, to have fun, to encourage, to do some servant-hearted foot-washing.
Walking alongside your teen takes time. It may even start out as hard work. But before you know it, the process will be a joy — because you'll really enjoy this person you're coming to know.