Who's First??

If you have more than one child, you may be very aware of distinct differences between their personalities. One is gung-ho, one is and quiet, one is always standing on his head and making jokes. Is it in their genes, or training, or an accident of nature that makes them who they are?

In a recent article in Time Magazine, The Power of Birth Order maintains that " in family after family, case study after case study, the simple roll of the birth-date dice has an odd and arbitrary power all it's own. " In June, a group of Norwegian researchers released a study showing that firstborns are generally smarter than any siblings who come along later, enjoying on average a three point higher IQ advantage over the next eldest. This is probably a result of the intellectual boost that comes from mentoring younger siblings and helping them in day to day tasks. Additionally, first children get more stimulation and interaction from their parents. The second child, in turn, in a point ahead of the third. Time states that "while three points may not seem like much, the effect can be enormous. Just 2-3 IQ points can correlate to a 15 point difference in SAT scores.

Studies in the Philippines show that later-born siblings tend to be shorter and weigh less that earlier borns. Peyton Manning is 6 ft. 5 in. and younger brother Eli is 6-ft. 4-in. Younger siblings are less likely to be vaccinated and last-borns are immunized at only half the rate of first borns. Elder siblings are also disproportionately represented in higher paying professions. 43% of CEO's are first born. Eldest siblings are also prevalent among MBA's and surgeons. and the U.S. Congress. Younger siblings, though less intellectual perhaps, are statistically likelier to live the creative and exciting life of an artist, a comedian, an adventurer, entrepreneur or firefighter. And middle children? Well, they can be a puzzle, even to the researchers.

In families, none of this comes as a surprise. There are few that can't identify a first-born who makes the best grades, keeps the other kids in line and winds up as caretaker and executor in their parents old age. Many "in the middle" are lost children and often the last is that "wild child". Look at your family scrapbooks. Are they stuffed with pictures and report cards of the firstborn with fewer entries and pictures of the children born next in line? The later borns notice it too.

Younger siblings find strategies to change the power system. They don't have size on their side, at least at first, but they have other methods. One is humor. It's hard to resist the charms of someone who can make you laugh and lots of families can identify that last born clown who has learned to get his way by being funny. Birth-order scholars note that some of history's greatest satirists-Voltaire, Jonathan Swift, Mark Twain-were the youngest members of large families. Stephen Colbert is the last of 11 children. Personality tests show firstborns score well on general responsibility and follow through and that later borns score higher as what is known as agreeableness, or the simple ability to get along in the world. Something else interesting. Later borns are similarly willing to take risks with their physical safety. Prince Harry is a good example.

If the oldest are achievers and the youngest are the gamblers and visionaries, where does that leave those in between? Think about it. For a while, they are the baby. They're too young for the privileges of the oldest and too young for the leniency granted the youngest. They are expected to step up to the plate when the eldest leaves and generally serve when called. That Norwegian study discovered that should a first born die, the second-borns IQ actually rises.

Time describes middle born as "stuck for life" in a center seat. They are never alone and never get 100% of their parents investment of time and money. Self esteem issues may arise. One tendency cited in the study is that often the next born observes the one born before and then does the opposite. A middle child might become a slacker or rebellious if the eldest is a high achiever. This is called a "scape goat" in family dynamics. They often are less connected to family and more to friends.

Birth Order is of course just a theory. Some points may ring true. Others may seem the opposite in your own growing up order or that of your children. It is still helpful to see what the studies have found and at least tuck it away as you relate to your own children. Any help as we raise them to be the adults they will become is a good thing. So get that middle child's Baby Book out and fill in all those blank pages! And do check their vaccination records. I know my youngest was 6 months behind his shots at every appointment.

Here's an easy canape recipe I got from my dear friend Susan. It's fast and delicious.

Pumpkin Spread
Pumpkin Butter (She used Williams Sonoma Pumpkin Pecan Butter, but I found Pumpkin Butter at Homeland here in town)
1 block cream cheese
1 cup toasted and salted chopped pecans
1 bunch green onions, chopped
6 strips of bacon, crumbled (I used the already cooked and just zapped it a minute)
Spoon pumpkin over cream cheese
top with other ingredients
Serve with whole wheat Wheat Thins or any nutty type cracker
(I think sugared pecans with a bit of cinnamon would also be really good with this. I'll try it next time and let you know)