Hallowed Halls and Ivy Walls

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Melony's information about paying for college is something to think about. So many American families live pay check to pay check. College five to ten years from now seems an easy financial obligation to put on the back burner. "There is lots of time." "We'll be in better financial shape then." "Precious is a 4th grade genius, I know she'll get a full scholarship when she graduates." "Did you see the way Little Jr. slammed that baseball? Colleges will be lined up for him to play for them."

Unless your statement begins, "Peggy Sue's trust fund......." do not assume money will magically appear when the time comes. It does not. Do not assume the astounding figures you see for four years of college is all it will cost. It isn't. Do not assume grants and scholarships happen just because your child is smart, or talented, or athletically gifted, or a minority, or a girl, or a boy, or handicapped, or whatever else is floating around out there. A friend of mine tells the story of his first day at Trinity University in San Antonio. The Freshman Dean stands before a room full of eager beavers and asks, "How many here were Valedictorian of their Senior class?" Pat proudly holds up his hand.........along with at least 80% of the audience. There are many worthy and outstanding 18 year olds, all vying for a limited number of scholarships and grants. Your child may catch the brass ring, and many do. But many others are welcomed by their university with open arms and a bursar bill.

This subject is near and dear to my heart. My daughter Catherine is graduating from The University of Oklahoma in two weeks. She is the third of our four to walk across the stage at Owens Field and the 4th Wagner is on target for 2010. When Tom graduates, we will have had at least one and sometimes 2 children in Norman for 14 straight years. My husband and I are very familiar with Bursar's bills.

Has it been a struggle? Sure it has. Have the sacrifices been worth it? Unquestionably.

Take it from someone who knows. Start saving now. Find ways to sock money away in a college savings plan as early as possible. Say, on your way home from the hospital after giving birth. Encourage your child to save toward college, not toward a new truck or a cell phone or a sound system or $125.00 tennis shoes. Make education a priority in your home. Make saving for college a focus.

I don't want to dissuade anyone from setting goals to attain scholarships. Academics, activities, leadership, service, all of these increase your child's chances of getting financial assistance. There are also lots of local scholarships that really help that first year. Encourage your senior to write the essays, fill out all the forms and apply for everything. That $250.00 scholarship goes a long way to cover first semester text books or student activity fees.

The college experience is broadening and enriching. Campus life offers new experiences and activities, exposure to new ideas and thought provoking intellectual debate. Lifelong friends are made and goals and aspirations are set. A positive four years opens up the world for a young adult. After graduation, that college degree opens up career choices, the vehicle to realize dreams, and the tools to make dreams come true.

When your children are small, don't make college a "maybe." Make it a "given." Make it the natural and assumed next step after high school. Include your kids in the loop. Let them know the sacrifices made, so higher education will be available when they graduate. Academics, financial planning, discipline and responsibility, long term goal setting, social skills, community involvement- these are all components that will make your home a setting for true "college prep."