Ways of Knowing

Ellie Drago-Severson is an education professor at Columbia University's teaching college. She recently discussed how understanding a person's "way of knowing" can help us interact more effectively with others in the adult world. The most important others, however, are our family members, so understanding how they think can help us refrain from over-reacting when they do not act the in the way in which we expect.

Severson's work is based on the theories of pshcylogist Robert Kegan, whose seminal work traced the development of ways of knowing from early childhood through adulthood. The ways of knowing, which do flow in an upward spiral, do not equate with a person's happiness level or satisfaction with life. They are not intended as "better at the top", "worse at the bottom" judgements. They are merely ways of knowing the world, so here goes:

First Order - magical world
To small children all things are part of a magical world that changes states constantly. Children between the ages of birth to about seven believe what they see. They need to be constantly reminded of the rules because they cannot keep ideas in their minds for a very long time.

Second Order - soverign mind
Children between the ages of seven to ten, adolescents and some adults
People at this level develop beliefs about themselves and the world that remain constant over time, giving rise to insight that lets them know others have opinions, too. Children—and adults—at this stage are self-centred and see others as helpers or barriers on the road to get to their desires. Their actions are based on fear of reprisal at breaking the rules. These people rely on the rules to guide them. They do not have the capacity for abstract thinking. They are rule bound and pretty much self bound. Everything is concrete to these thinkers.

Socializing Knowers (teenagers and most adults):
These people have the capacity to think abstractly. They are driven by others' opinions of them and likewise, feel responsible for other people's feelings because they have internalized them.

Self-Authoring Knowers (some adults):
Self authoring people understand that they function in relationships, but are driven by their own internal values. They can hold contradictory feelings/information at the same time.

As in Maslow's heirarchy, an ultimate transcending order exists in Kegan's matrix, the
Self Transforming or Postmodern Knower (very few adults):
People at this stage can see across all the ways of knowing and recognize that what used to look like differences in thinking are actually quite similar. They recognize that a given mode of thinking has limitations when it is used all the time, even their own mode of thinking.

What does this have to do with teeangers? Most teens will be in the instrumental or socializing knower stage. Recognizing that can help you find ways to get information across to your teen most effectively. It might also explain the behavior of some of your other family members - or of yourself - and help direct it toward a more positive end. Most people utilize knowing that falls in between the orders or combines the orders. Thinking about thinking can help us evolve our thought processes and understand others around us better, help things flow more smoothly and make life less frustrating. Isn't that what we all want?