Good Job

Remember when your children were small? Those first faltering steps. "Good job", you exclaimed. Reciting the ABC's. A,B,D,G.......... "You're so smart!". A hearty attempt at kicking a soccer ball. "Good try!" Imagine the reverse. "Little Miss Clumsy aren't you? It's A,B,C,D Einstein." "If you would just practice and apply yourself...."

We would never talk to our young children like that. What happens when we talk to our teenagers? "Why do you hang out with those kids?" "Are you going to wear that?" "Why can't you make better grades. You'll never get into a good college." "Do you know how many calories that has in it?

Whew. Talk about negative. We learn in business to always add something positive, even if the job review is a poor one. Our Mothers' taught that if we didn't have something nice to say, to say nothing. Experience reminds us how words said to us when we were young continue to hurt when we are old. So why do we accentuate the negative with our own teens? Why are we so quick to focus on what they did wrong?

Are we as parents guilty of "stereotyping" our own children? Is the absence of "bad" things our definition of a "good" kid? "He doesn't do drugs. She doesn't drive dangerously. They don't do crazy things. To complete the sentence....like teens do. See the stereotype?

Try turning it around. Buster is into a healthy lifestyle. Gwendolyn is an extremely conscientious driver. They have great friends and always look before they leap into anything.

When our children were small, we helped them achieve goals. We thought of our children as full of potential, capable of growing in positive ways with our loving guidance. And guess what? Now as teens, they still are. chrissie