Seeing the Potential

The cover of this week's MY Magazine features a picture of Muskogee Early Childhood Center (ECC) students looking blithely into the camera, personalities already evident by the age of four. Many people see only adorable pre-schoolers, but I see potential doctors, lawyers, nurses, store managers and teachers starring back at me.

A strange phenomenon occurs when I run into members of this year's Muskogee High School senior class. It seems like just yesterday they were funny little children, caught forever running and laughing in that camera of my mind, the exact opposite of what I experience when looking at those kindergarteners. The mind can fly both forward and backwards in time, unbounded by any laws of physics, except for the sheer potentiality of what all of these young people may become - what any of us may become at any given time in our lives.

To quote Ophelia in Hamlet, "We know what we are, but not what we may be." As parents and teachers we often understand this quote all too well. The line that separates a child from a future of addiction and failure or unbelievable success is sometimes a fine one. We approach our first, second, and third born children differently, and due to a myriad of factors, children from the very same family turn out differently. As parents we often blame ourselves for lack of the same degree of interest in all our children. As teachers we may feel we did not do enough to save this or that person from him/herself.

Regardless of our approach, one thing we must do is see and trust in the potential of our children. Covey has said in The 8th Habit that trust becomes a verb when we see and communicate the worth and potential in someone so clearly that he or she is able to see it himself. This one factor, regardless of other variables in raising a child, can be the difference between giving a child the power of self-efficacy and a feeling of powerlessness. Seeing that potential requires a profound faith in the individual and in the belief that things will turn out as they are meant to be. It cannot be separated out from the love needed to affirm children that they are capable of goodness and greatness.

When I see those children, whether this year's kindergarteners or Class of 2010 seniors, I have the greatest love and respect for them. Regardless of their age, they are our equals, just on a different leg of the journey. They have the potential to solve problems we cannot imagine and to take care of us in ways we do not yet understand. Seeing the potential in our children and clearly communicating it in affirmative ways is one of the best gifts we can give.
-------Melony