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I am always taken back when I hear how some parents talk in front of their children. I am even more taken back when I hear how some parents talk TO their children. Walk through the local discount stores and your ears burn. If children learn what they live, the language some of their role models use is sending the wrong message. Boy, is it!

A new study links middle-schoolers’ exposure to profanity via TV or video games to their use of cuss words and aggressive behavior.

You might not find this surprising, especially if you’ve ever eavesdropped on a group of 12- or 13-year-olds who matter-of -factly drop the F-bomb . More than just bad language, researchers have studied how exposure to profanity actually affects teen behavior.

The look at profanity's connection to aggression comes after “hundreds of studies have shown links between exposure to violence, sexual behavior and substance use in media, and subsequent behavior,” the scientists write in a report published online in Monday in Pediatrics.

The researchers asked 223 students at a large Midwestern middle school to complete a questionnaires about their exposure to profanity on TV shows or video games. They also asked, what the tweens thought about profanity and whether they used it, or whether they engaged in aggressive behavior, such as hitting others or spreading rumors about them.

Surprise. There is a link between hearing and using profanity, and aggressive behavior. Statistical analysis of their findings suggests aggressive behavior is exacerbated by violent and profane language.

“Parents should be looking at what their kids are watching," says lead author Sarah Coyne, an assistant professor of family life at Brigham Young University. She notes that profanity appears to be creeping in to more “family friendly” programming than ever. Amen. My four year old grandson was watching Avatar yesterday. I had never seen it and was busy in the kitchen when a very inappropriate word came out of a very blue character's mouth. Grandson was a little disconcerted when I changed the channel. Luckily, Dinosaur Dan was a good distraction.

For that matter, Coyne says it’s important for mom and dad to watch the potty mouth at home, too. She says, “I think that most people slip up from time to time in terms of profanity,” she says. “Just be as careful as you can. If you do slip up, apologize. Point out, it happens, but is not appropriate.

The world of our tweens and teens is turbulent enough with what we can't control. Adding to the chaos with coarse language sets a poor example and may be contributing to inappropriate and even violent behavior. Good manners and civilized behavior are important tools to give our children. Limit the expletives and use our beautiful and descriptive English language to communicate. Words have power. The world has been changed over and over again by those who use words well. Others create fear, hostility and insecurity with their word choices. What are you setting in motion in your family? chrissie