Six Easy Steps

It's almost that time.  School supplies. New Clothes. Lunches packed. Homework. A return to regular bedtimes and after-school activities.  Summer is rapidly coming to a close.

Daughter Annie shared my grand children's fall schedule with me.  Art class. Gymnastics.  Soccer.  They are busy but Annie really tries to limit their activities after school.  She wants home and down time to be an integral part of their schedule. Date night with their Daddy is also on the calendar.  One on One time is a planned activity. It's a fine balance between offering opportunities and nurturing a secure home life.

Annie shared a book by Dr. James Dobson-Bringing Up Girls.   He features a finding by Dr. Frank Luntz-six parental behaviors that are most likely to hurt-or destroy our own children.

Healthy Children to Healthy Adults:

The Six Steps Parents Really Need to Know

1.  Having Dinner with your children.  Nothing says "I truly care about you" more than spending dinnertime with your children at least five nights a week.  More that any other day, parents who dine with their children produce healthier adults because it sends the clear signal that their children are a high priority.  Parents who miss dinner- no matter what the excuse, are sending the wrong message, one that is unfortunately heard loud and clear by our children.

(Dr. Luntz found that teens who eat dinner at home 3 to 5 times a week have a lower risk of using cigarettes, alcohol and illegal drugs.  That, is families who eat dinner together, with the
 television off and the phones down.)

2.  Successful anti-drug and anti-alcohol education includes a spiritual component.  If your child is taught at an early age that there is something out there that is bigger and more important that themselves, they are more likely to respect and appreciate the miracle of life and less likely to destroy it with harmful substances.

3.  Checking your child's homework nightly.  There are two components at work here. Participation daily sends the message that your child matters.  It also serves as a warning sign if something is off track.  Involvement in intellectual pursuits wards off harmful physical activity.
 
4.  Demanding the truth-and getting it.  Parents who insist on knowing exactly where their children are on Friday and Saturday night are sending a clear message that not every place, every friend, or every behavior is acceptable. Children who tell them the truth are acknowledging those boundaries.  If they lie about where they are, they will most assuredly lie about what they do.  Deceit in the name of "teenagers will be teenagers" should never be tolerated.

5.  Taking your children on vacation for at least a week at a time.  Long weekends just don't qualify because it isn't long enough to break the daily routine or reconnect relationships.  Turn off all portable devices and turn your children back on.

6.  Encourage them to participate in a team sport.  Sorry, individual sports and other group activities like band and drama don't count.  Team members are often even less tolerant of substance abuse than parents-for good reason.  When teens depend on each other's physical health and performance, they are less likely to engage in harmful physical behavior. Peer pressure to do the right thing can be a powerful motivating force.

Dr. Dobson sums up Luntz's findings with the following:

"Parents need to think hard about protecting their children from harmful influences after school and at all times.  The solution is to be found in building good relationships, in providing close supervision, in keeping your eyes and ears open. in enjoying wholesome recreation with your children, in encouraging team sports, in getting involved in a caring church, enrolling your kids in a good school, carefully monitoring friends and in talking a lot at evening meals."

Take a deep breath and jump in with both feet.  It may take some reprogramming but the results are worth the effort. chrissie