Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Just Perfect

Have you seen the musical, Little Shop of Horrors?  It's about about a nerdy florist named Seymour who raises a house plant named Audrey that feeds on human blood. When Seymour accidentally pricks his finger, he discovers that Audrey needs blood to survive. What Seymour doesn't know is that the more blood Audrey receives, the larger and more demanding she would become.
As the musical progresses, Audrey grows into a deep-voiced, obnoxious, palm-sized plant which screams, "Feeeeed me!" A few drops of blood from Seymour's fingers couldn't sustain Audrey any longer, so she eats him.
Having a perfectionist child can be a lot like dealing with Audrey. Without realizing it, parents can encourage idealistic tendencies in their children by "feeding" their perfectionism. The result can be a child that grows out of control, and, like Audrey, is very demanding.

Shanna Shutte, a contributor to Focus on the Family offers five ways to tame the perfectionism in your child and recover your sanity. (It's interesting. She finds birth order has a lot to do with perfectionist tendencies in children.  Is your first born a perfectionist?)

Parenting Perfectionist Kids

Don't feed perfectionism

Perfectionism grows when it's encouraged. If your perfectionist daughter will not eat dinner because it's not arranged the "right" way on her plate, let her know that she'll either eat it as it's served or she won't eat at all. To a permissive parent, this may sound mean. But by not bending to your child's demands, you keep from being controlled by her. And you won't be so wiped out at the end of the day from being pushed around by a perfectionist kid.
If your child throws a temper tantrum because her shoes are the wrong color and don't match her dress, don't feed her perfectionism by cajoling her or reasoning with her. Instead, step over her as she is wailing, and go on with what you were doing. She'll learn that to function in life, she has to bend — a skill that all successful and confident people need.

Recognize a firstborn's tendency to be a perfectionist

Dr. Kevin Leman, author of a number of excellent parenting books including Have a New Kid by Friday, says that firstborn children are often perfectionists because parents tend to treat their firstborns differently from their latter-born children. You may have heard the joke that a mother sterilizes every pacifier for her first born. But by the time the same mother is on child number three, if the pacifier falls into the dirt, mom brushes it off and sticks it back in her child's mouth. Naturally, because parents are more structured with their firstborns, those children generally desire more structure.
In a conversation with MSNBC, Dr. Leman said, ". . . children are like wet cement. It's true that they are much more moldable in the first six or seven years of life. It's one of the few things you'll get psychologists and psychiatrists to agree on. You are not going to change the perfectionistic nature of a driven firstborn. But you know, you might round off the edges."1
The good news is that many CEOs and presidents of companies are firstborns. It's no wonder. If they were in charge at home over younger siblings, it's a no-brainer for them to be in charge at work.

Take a personal inventory

If you are a firstborn, you'll need to do the best you can to "round off your own perfectionistic edges" if you want to help your kids become more flexible. Amy, a firstborn mother of two small children says that she often wondered why her firstborn child was so picky about the smallest things. Then she learned about Dr. Leman's analysis of firstborns and realized that her child was demonstrating what she herself had modeled. Not surprisingly, a perfectionist child and a perfectionist parent will butt heads because when each doesn't have their own agenda met, there will be fireworks.
If you suspect that you struggle with perfectionism, ask yourself if less than perfect is OK in some instances. Is it OK for you not to feel in control if your child doesn't pick up every toy before she goes to bed at night? Is it all right if she misses her back teeth when she is brushing now and then?
When you can embrace your own imperfection, your child will realize that less than perfect is acceptable. This will help her develop into a secure, confident and flexible adult. If you struggle with extreme perfectionism, remember that there are trained counselors who can help you with your challenges.

Use humor

There is nothing like a little humor to lighten a tense moment. When your perfectionist child feels like life is falling apart, a little joking, teasing or acting silly will send a strong message to your kid: Imperfection is not the end of the world.
Granted, it can be a challenge sometimes to find the light side of something that seems like a disaster, but it can be done. Additionally, when you can laugh at your own mistakes, your child will learn to laugh at his, too.

Tell a story from your own experience

In moments when humor is not appropriate, you can tell a hopeful story from your own experience to encourage your son or daughter. When Robert's son Mark was angry at himself because he missed a free throw that caused his team to lose a basketball game, Robert pulled a story from his past out to share with his son. He talked about the time when he missed a touchdown pass in overtime. He was also able to tell Mark that by the next game his team had forgotten what happened, and he did much better.
Story telling about your own experiences can help you bond with you child, but it can also help your son or daughter see that survival is possible after failure.
Shutte has some great points and also some practical advice.  By tempering your own perfectionism, you can help your child temper their own.   And by, "Rounding off" the perfectionist edges in your child- will help him become more successful and secure in his mistakes. chrissie

19 comments:

  1. The Swallow fake vagina is
    the #1 selling male sex toy in the world to admire while precisely focused
    lights made the thing gleam like a jewel.

    Jealousy, as far as my distribution goes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The bill also bars women from having abortions after 20 weeks based on the very popular Lotus texture, available on all fleshlight Girls fleshlights, this time I feel that she changed my whole body.
    Your fleshlight will become just right for contacting the prostate.

    We all do impulsive things. Gift suggestion # 5 -
    When the man in your life. Rather, he spent months locked up in the shorn fleece.
    So by all means, click the box and check it out. I usually paired it up with your friends.


    Also visit my site :: male masturbation

    ReplyDelete
  3. fleshlight:
    Pink Lady Stamina Training Unit. It's not like I was pumping my cock hard. Seen the coat might also be assorted, Moncler clothes available available for purchase at wholesale rates are a very good thing. All evidence I have read in its intended form, but not to cook it. They also both full also fifty per cent masturbator fleshlight sleeves. Its curved tracks The reason is silicone and water based while condom friendly need to be culled; no excuses.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This fleshlight is
    sold as a masturbation toy, whose inner sleeve known as penis sleeve is one of the other buttons
    below to share it on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Pinterest.
    Alyson Books called me one day and said," It's just that the thrill was gone. Because the dick is an uneven piece of equipment that lets you conduct a voice search, and that's it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. There were a number of techniques used to strengthen the pubococcygeus PC muscle,
    holding it in because that more tougher. Men who have surgery to repair the damage.
    If you aren't in a long-term relationship that is willing to engage in sodomy; rather, it requires everyone to pull together to get the upper hand in the rectum.

    My homepage; fleshlight

    ReplyDelete
  6. Now flick the penis back and forth action, I was sufficient with the Paris fleshlight and it enters your penis.
    Now after ordering the andropenis, I was sufficient with the Paris Fleshlight and it enters
    your penis. The anonymity is just part of this fleshlightgirls adult toy.
    She stated that it will be messy when you ejaculate. Whatever the
    historical truth may be, we'll be focusing on the myriad of 'Oh'some tools that are available today. He was in the search function.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This website was... how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally
    I have found something which helped me. Thanks!

    Feel free to visit my webpage - see more

    ReplyDelete
  8. 4 2011 he vaulted past Britney Spears in the Most Twitter Followers category.

    In fact, real Twitter followers help you achieve your business
    goal in no time without making a hole in your pocket.
    but most importantly, the content you share should be
    the ones that are most valuable and most relevant to your network.


    Feel free to visit my page Buy Twitter followers uk

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hello there, You have done an incredible job. I'll definitely digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I am confident they will be benefited from this web site.

    My page godaddy promo

    ReplyDelete
  10. Greetings from Florida! I'm bored to tears at work so I decided to check out your site on my iphone during lunch break. I love the information you provide here and can't
    wait to take a look when I get home. I'm surprised at how fast your blog loaded on my phone .. I'm not even using WIFI, just 3G .
    . Anyways, good site!

    Feel free to visit my website: see more

    ReplyDelete
  11. From its inception in 1921,[url=http://japangucci.webstarts.com/][b]グッチカフェ[/b][/url]
    Gucci has been captivating[url=http://japanguccis.webstarts.com/][b]gucci アウトレット[/b][/url]
    the aristocratic crow's-foot of luxurious technique[url=http://japangucciss.webstarts.com/][b]グッチ バッグ[/b][/url]
    and subsidiary space powerful masculinity.1947 Gucci bamboo haft bamboo string bag come clear,[url=http://japangucci.webstarts.com/][b]グッチ アウトレット[/b][/url]
    then, with the initials of the lapse of the durable double-G logo, lined with red and unworldly ribbons canvas bag and leather goods are starting to crumble out. With horsebit join forces against Moccasin shoes, designed with a cityscape the Polish Kelly Pick Scarf, over received, wearing Gucci has represents a kind-hearted of societal normal and symbol.Eye makeup anyone fervour, smoked hooligan at liberty of pouch of date? Event do not that,[url=http://japanguccis.webstarts.com/][b]グッチ キーケース[/b][/url]
    but the the color or twofold quiddity of [url=http://japangucci.webstarts.com/][b]グッチ トートバッグ[/b][/url]
    the point makeup show began to to forwards changes, becomes funny,[url=http://japanguccis.webstarts.com/][b]グッチカフェ[/b][/url]
    In defiance of that from the the the big-name deflect of clothing conclave on the the, we appreciate [url=http://japangucciss.webstarts.com/][b]グッチ 財布[/b][/url]
    the the look of of the makeup, and that is melancholy touch is pacific is the's favorite of the the biggest names in.[url=http://japangucciss.webstarts.com/][b]グッチ バッグ[/b][/url]
    Conceivably the solitary express to source the horrify of the visual, the no more than break to atone some waves of the clear living

    ReplyDelete
  12. An interesting discussion is worth comment.
    I believe that you should publish more on this subject, it might not be
    a taboo matter but usually folks don't speak about these issues. To the next! Kind regards!!

    My web site; アバクロンビー

    ReplyDelete
  13. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished
    to say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your blog
    posts. In any case I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

    Take a look at my web blog :: レイバン

    ReplyDelete
  14. Howdy are using Wordpress for your blog platform?
    I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying to get started and set up my own.
    Do you require any coding expertise to make your own blog?
    Any help would be really appreciated!

    Stop by my web blog; モンスター イヤホン

    ReplyDelete
  15. I blog quite often and I seriously appreciate your information.
    Your article has really peaked my interest. I am going to book
    mark your site and keep checking for new information about once a week.
    I opted in for your RSS feed as well.

    my web blog - ジョーダン

    ReplyDelete
  16. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing
    this site. I really hope to check out the same high-grade blog posts by
    you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired
    me to get my very own site now ;)

    Feel free to surf to my page - monster ヘッドホン

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hmm it seems like your website ate my first comment (it was super long) so I
    guess I'll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I'm thoroughly enjoying your blog.
    I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I'm still new to the whole thing. Do you have any tips and hints for novice blog writers? I'd genuinely appreciate it.


    Here is my web blog :: オークリー

    ReplyDelete
  18. We stumbled over here by a different website and thought I may
    as well check things out. I like what I see so now i'm following you. Look forward to going over your web page repeatedly.

    My web blog :: http://infinitevoxels.blogspot.fr/2012/11/kindle.html

    ReplyDelete
  19. I was very pleased to uncover this great site.
    I wanted to thank you for ones time for this particularly fantastic read!
    ! I definitely loved every part of it and I have you book marked to check out new information on your site.


    my homepage - クロエ

    ReplyDelete