Who am I Now?

I have been reading what I call, "a little book." It won't be on the New York Times Best Seller List. I probably won't see the author being interviewed by a talk show host. It has a limited audience but nevertheless speaks to those of us who pick it up.

The gift of an Ordinary Day - A Mother's Memoir, is a meditation on midlife. It speaks to those women who have passed babies and preschool and little league and moved on to curfews, hormones and children leaving home. It is a book about midlife want and loss. The author, Katrina Kenison assures us that mothers can reinvent themselves as their teens grow up. Mother's can truly claim new ground right along with their teenagers. Her book gives women the tools to switch gears and to find fulfillment and joy in this next part of our lives.

Kenison writes, "At mid-life, I managed to convince myself that physical movement was a prerequisite for change. Going somewhere else would satisfy a restlessness of spirit. Now, I recognize the restlessness for what it was-the first stirrings of fear that my own life would be over when my children left home. I began to ask the question, who am I now?"

"Once upon a time I took pride in the predictable patterns of our days; nap times and bath times and bed times. Later I taught my sons to cook for themselves and I proofread book reports and chauffeured carloads of boys. Now we're in a different place and a different time, and I need to become a different kind of mother. A mother who knows how to back off. A mother who's gaze is not so focused on her two endlessly absorbing children, but who is engaged in a rich full life of her own. "

"I must be a mother who trusts in who her children are, even if they aren't exactly who she thinks they ought to be. Who keeps faith in the future, even when the things her children do in the present give her pause. A mother who remembers, above all else, that the greatest gift she can give her nearly grown sons is the knowledge that, no matter what, she loves them both absolutely, just exactly as they are."
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"What confirmed me as a mother from the first moment of birth to the now as each prepares to leave , is a heart full of love. That is the constant, the "never change". Love is the infinite, durable strand that's woven itself through all the days of a shared past and will wind it's way through our unknowable futures, no matter how much life separates us, no matter where my sons journey may ultimately lead them."

Katrina Kenison, in this small book, teaches the art of letting go and holding on. It is available at the Muskogee Public Library and on-line at Amazon. Enjoy. Chrissie

A Lesson in Love

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked. And God answered her "Yes, this way is hard, and you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning." But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed them, taught them how to tie their shoes and ride a bike, and reminded them to feed the dog and do their homework and brush their teeth. The sun shone on them and the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the nights came, and the storms and the path was sometimes dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her arms and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come." And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children, "a little patience and we are there." So the children climbed and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms. And with this, she gave them strength to face the world.

Year after year she showed them compassion, understanding, and hopes, but most of all...unconditional love. And when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you." The days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And the mother, when she lay down at night, looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned so much and are now passing these traits on to their children. My work is done."

A Mother is more than a memory. She is a living presence. Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she's the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick and perfume that she wore, she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well, she's your breath in the air on a cold winters day. She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow, she is your birthday morning.

Your Mother lives inside your laughter and she's crystallized in every tear drop. A mother experiences every emotion...happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger, excitement, joy, sorrow - all the while hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life. She's the place you came from, your first home, and she's the map you follow with every step you take.

author unknown

Happy Mothers Day