That Phantom Ringing

At a meeting of the MHS Philosophy Club perhaps the most insightful conversation concerned cell phones. Kids will admit that they are somewhat addicted to their cell phones, like on a scale of 1 - 10, they might be a 9.

But how addicted they are can be seen in the phenomenon of phantoming ringing. I have to admit, I have been the victim of it, too.

Symptoms of phantom ringing range from thinking you hear your cell phone ringing to thinking you feel it vibrating in your pocket or purse, only to pick it up and find not even one new call or message.

I'm not sure how behavioral scientists would explain this, but I think it is clear. Our kids' cell phones have become another limb, an extension of their physical and psychic being; one they long for when it is silent or missing, or even right there in their pocket.

Why would this phenomenon manifest itself in this way? One's cell phone is a connection to the outside world and to friends. Kids may be having superficial conversations in the language of text, but they are communicating with another human being on the average of every ten to twenty minutes. Most of those are significant others: mom, grandma, girldfriend or boyfriend, and best friends.

Unlimited texting allows unlimited access to the teen's extension of self in family and friends. In our world the cell phone has become the most obvious manifestation of sociologist Cooley's infamous Looking Glass Self theory. Not only do teens have a reliable way to obtain needed information about rides, practices, parental instructions and so forth, but they also have a mirror of themselves in the outside world.

Significant Other didn't text right back? Uh-oh, he doesn't like me anymore. Mom didn't get right back to me - she's mad and I must be grounded or have messed up. That cute guy didn't respond to my text - he thinks I'm a geek. A weirdo texted me - what is happening to my social life?!

The fact is that the cell phone ringing is just like that Streamline Princess Phone we all had back in the 60's, 70's, and 80's. When it rang, we knew we were liked, valued, even adored. When it was silent, we were desolate. And, texting is just like that note your best friend left on your car windshield or that really cute someone slipped you in math class.

The ringing is important because it means we are loved. The phantom ring is just an existential sign that we wish someone were there, that we matter to someone. In that sense, the cell phone is a remarkable connection tool. That ring or vibration is an invisible hug - that phatom ring a longing for one.