The New Year and the new school semester are both almost here. If you have never thought about it before, this is the time to pause and reflect about the influence others are beginning to have on your teen's decisions. Maybe you have noticed it already: your teen scoffs at your opinions, doesn't believe you know what you are talking about, and flaunts some statistic from the Internet as justification for his opinion. You are not the center of his universe anymore.
During the early teen years, as it should be, your child moves from internal, family-driven influences to external, world-driven views. It's common enough to think of millionaire movie stars, rappers, and athletes as influencing your child's clothing, musical preferences, body piercings and tattoos, because they do.
But, closer to home are two important groups with whom your teenager has daily interaction: friends and teachers. During most of the year, these are the two sets of people your teen sees more than he/she sees you everyday. All of us have tried to control the friends our kids hang out with, but have you ever thought of the importance of the teachers with whom your teenager interacts everyday?
I ask this because of a Duke University study which highlights the importance of the teen years in the development of adult thought patterns. According to research, addictive behaviors originate in the teen brain, but so do other innocuous but illogical and incorrect modes of thought which take years to correct, leaving the adult individual vulnerable to repeatedly making the same mistakes.
Friends are the same age as your teen, and so, probably do not have any better thought processes than your own child possesses. Therefore, contact with a caring adult who can provide a welcoming environment in which to explore and correct opinions is so essential to your child's intellectual growth. Additionally, all the studies show that students who participate in extracurricular activities led by enthused adults are more likely to complete their high school education.
No one can take your place, but someone is going to, at least temporarily. Investigating the right teachers and classes with which to place your teen at school could pay big dividends in the long run. It's something to think about for the New Year. And try Chrissie's blackeyed peas and relish for some of that luck we can all use in 2007!
I couldn't agree with you more on this. I had you for two years in class Mrs. Carey and I used to be at your house with Tom every day Chrissie. Both of you have been big influences on me, and I know you both have been a huge influence on tons of your students.
ReplyDeleteConnnnnooorrrrrrrr! You give us too much credit! You have had some exceptional parenting, or rather familying, and you are an exceptional person innately. It was (still is) my honor to know you - I know Chrissie feels the same way and more, for sure!
ReplyDeleteThe thing about students that no one ever considers is that they influence and give positive feedback to teachers, too, and keep up their teachers' enthusiasm for teaching. You are one of those people whose intellect is so uplifting. Thanks so much for the positive note! Good luck this semester!
Thanks Connor. I wish you were both still in my backyard after school building that treehouse!!!! I would launch into a chorus of "Sunrise Sunset" if we had audio on this blog. You and Tom et al have fun tonight and be safe!!
ReplyDeleteLove C
Theres not a lot of teachers who care like you all do.....and picking good ones is pretty slim at most high schools. Maybe it is mutual but most teachers just seen angry and indifferent...As do most of the kids. Can't wait to be out of there. It stinks.
ReplyDeleteCan't Wait to be Outta There:
ReplyDeleteInstitutionalized education is rarely good, is it? Two things come to mind - Pink Floyd's The Wall and my own high school experience, both as a student and a teacher.
First of all, we are all trapped there, aren't we? We have 25 minutes for lunch - by the time I close up the room and get all the students' questions answered, I have 15 minutes left. Who can eat in 15 minutes? My physician has not predicted a good outcome for me, if this continues! No wonder people are gripey and hostile - they aren't getting enough to eat or drink, even though studies show repeatedly that students do better with snacks during the day. Again, institutionalized education can't provide that, because the crazy students cannot behave, so we all suffer.
Secondly, there are too many requirements now, for whatever reason (bad education requires more and more required classes, just like society enacting more and more laws because people can't behave, and America is in trouble both ways) and people have no time to explore something they might truly love, rather than having to take yet another math class (no offense, math lovers. You can replace that with foreign language, if you want!). In short, people are hostile because they are not engaged in a task they love.
Which brings me to my next point - some may balk at this - but, as teh existentialist philosopher Camus said, Hell is other people. If you are a sane person trying to navigate almost ANY public school,
you and your teachers probably really can't wait to get out of there. As one very astute administrator said to me, we have legislated ourselves Constitutionally out of good educational practices. You are probably a good person - you can't wait to get out because the teachers are in a bad mood because the students can't behave and don't want to be there.
Finally, good kids have made a separate school within a school for themselves by picking the teachers who do care and the classes where there are fewer crazy people. That was really my point about picking carefully which classes to take and which teachers. You can at least get a fighting chance at having a good high school experience.
But, just to add perspective, people expect their college professors to be so much better, but in reality find that there are only one or two outstanding teachers in college each semester, too. And, they don't care if you had to work late last night and didn't get your paper done. In that respect, you might re-evaluate your assessment of teachers, most of whom try to understand and accomodate all people and their problems.
Here is another idea - the students often feel trapped by the educational process and adopt the victim mentality. What about being proactive and suggesting activities for the lessons gently to your teachers? You don't have to be a silent victim - you could be a positive change agent that could help your whole school. Don't get in trouble doing it - it's just an idea for helping it not stink quite so badly...
Don't wish your time away, Can't Wait to be the &$#@ Outta There. Thanks for your very insghtful comment. Have a great 2007!
p.s. - It was probably Sartre who first said that quote, but Camus would have agreed. Sorry.
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ReplyDeletethe incredibly least does not make untrue claims.
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