We were sitting around the dinner table over dessert. I was boring the girls with stories of my days at OU (Oklahoma University) back when. Surely someone from my generation remembers and has tales to tell of Denko Darlins' and "enchies" at Denko's. Denko was a real person with a meat cleaver always in his hand. He was often chasing us out of his establisment at 2:00 in the morning. Coach's on Main now sits where the infamous Denk's used to be . Share stories. There must be lots of Denko tales out there.
Anyway, we started talking about Myspace and Facebook. I realized I really did not have a clue except what I had glimpsed on one of my kid's computers. ( before they closed it......quickly. ) I of course had heard the horror stories about predators. We have all seen Dateline. Men with more warped hormones than healthy brain cells are repeatedly lured into false liasons with cameras rolling and police waiting.
Here is the simple definiton and explanation of Myspace.
http://www.techterms.org/definition/myspace
http://www.facebook.com/ is the sight for Facebook and there is an online tour you can take without signing up.
I decided we needed some expert advice so I went to the source. Here are four 19 and 20 year-old answers to my questions.
What are Facebook and Myspace? Which do you like better? Why? Do you know anything about how either was started?
They are "social" networks that people use to keep in touch, and just waste time on. Facebook is unanimously our favorite and it is also alot simpler to use. Facebook began as a social network at one particular college (either Harvard or Yale I think) and quite rapidly spread to other colleges. For the first few years you could only get a page if you had an edu.com in your email address..... Meaning that you were a college student. It was the coolest deal to get your address from school and immediately, set up your Facebook page. Now, with Myspace, Facebook allows anyone on. Boo.
How does another person access an individual's page? Can anyone access it? Can you block someone?
Every person who has a facebook account can set their privacy settings. All of our profiles are set so that only our "friends" can look at our profiles. That takes care of us having to block someone because only the people we know are able to look at our profile!
Do you check Facebook every day? Is there always something from someone on it? Are you always adding and updating your pages???
Yes...almost compulsively. Not always but pretty much every other day. At first it is really fun to update your page but the fun is semi -worn off at this point. Some people are very clever and inventive. Some not so much.
Here's a silly question. Are there poor souls who are as unpopular on their Facebook page as they are at their school or is there a level playing field for everyone through this communication method?
Um...well it says how many facebook friends you have, how many wall posts you have etc. But that doesn't really matter because some people are more into facebook and have everyone they know as a friend and others do not really care...so it really depends on if you are an 'active' facebook participant.
Talk about the friend who went for a job interview.
A good friend of mine went in for a job interview and the interviewer had her facebook page printed out and sitting on the desk...lucky for her the profile was totally clean and acceptable...which is not the same for everyone else.
You know how adults always say, "be careful of what you say and do. Reputation is everything." If the Facebook examples I have seen are any indication, some crazy stuff is out there for the world to see. How does someone make a decision to allow this about themselves? Is it so accepted now? Considered cool? Does this have any impact on how a person is perceived?
Well, everyone has a choice of what pictures are posted or not posted. We don't believe sexually explicit or embarrassing incidents to be an accepted form of behavior. These people are definitely judged if their pictures are highly inappropriate and everyone and I mean everyone will know about it.
Can things be deleted? Can you delete something from someone else's personal page?
You can delete anything that has to do with you, but no one else can delete something from your portfolio, unless they know your password.
In a group of say 100, how many people's page is basically honest and truthful about themselves? (rough estimate). Would you say every teen and young adult with a computer have a personal page on one of these sites? I know nothing about statistics, but between the four of us we can only name a handful of college kids that don't have a facebook and/or myspace account. I think everyone's profile is pretty truthful, especially because their parents don't read it.
What advice to parents about their kids on these sights. Should they be banned until a certain age? Should they be screened until a certain age? If so, when. With all the media coverage, why do you think these younger kids are continuing to arrange meetings with strangers? Has computer talk become so familiar to your generation that it really does seem personal and intimate? Does it seem as if you really know the person at the other end. We are all four a little freaked out with the whole internet thing, that is why our privacy setting are set really high, we don't want creeps looking at our profiles and knowing more about us!!! Younger kids really need to understand the dangers and what can happen with contact and meetings. In a way, on Myspace, pre-teens and young teens have a chance to "talk Dirty" or "play doctor' so to speak in a very verbal way. Unfortunately there are sicko's out there who take it real seriously. I guess if someone's kid seems distant, distracted, aloof; if he or she is really secretive about time on the computer, if that parent alarm goes off, look closer and investigate what is going on.
Hope that helped. If you get a chance, go on the websites above to see some examples of pages. I remember when I would take an autograph book to slumber parties and friends would sign things about me. Chrissie and Danny sitting in a tree....K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love..then comes marriage, then comes Danny with a baby carriage. Of course the autograph book is out of date. Actually, the rhyme is an anachronism too. The baby carriage is now often in the middle of the rhyme!!!
Coaxing information out of kids always works better with good food. They will sit longer! Tonight I served a Spinach Salad that has been around for years. We featured it in a Service League's cookbook that was my provisional year project. It is delicious. Thanks Francie Faudree.
1 bag of baby spinach - stems removed. ( It is safe again, California promised)
1 can of Durkee's onion rings
1 jar of hormel bacon bits
4 hard boiled eggs-sliced
1 container fresh muchrooms-sliced (I leave this out as my children pick them out anyway)
1 small purple onion, sliced thinly
When ready to serve, toss, and dress with the following:
In blender combine,
1 cup canola or safflower oil (not olive)
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 cup wine vinegar
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp dry mustard
1 clove fresh garlic (light on the garlic)
3 tbsp dried parsley
dash of Tabasco
salt and pepper
You can make ahead but blend again, right before serving as sour cream will separate.
If I don't want to get the whole ding-dang blender out, I'll just do this is a clean mayo jar and shake it well.
This whole facebook thing has passed my by. thanks for a little info though i am still not sure what it is. But..at least i know more than the scary side the media rants on and on about.
ReplyDeleteMy students keep asking me to get a myspace account, but I don't think that is something I would like to do. Both my kids have facebook, myspace and xanga. It makes me uneasy, but they have also gotten messages from childhood friends and others which have been really neat. It's just like the whole Internet, if it is monitored and kept pretty respectable but fun, it's a worthwhile thing. It's too bad it's not just for college kids anymore - less scary that way.
ReplyDeleteMelony
Come on ladies don't tell all our secrets!! Let us have something the "ups" can't access or know how to do.
ReplyDeleteBlip Blip I am guessing an "up" is a "grown up" Do I dare ask where your blog name comes from? Chrissie
ReplyDeleteI don't guess there's a way to get into myspace and see what your child has written? I'm sure we could find out all kinds of things we don't want to know, but probably should, about the after hours life of our kids.
ReplyDeleteI asked my "experts" and there is no way to get on anyone's personal page without their password. Do any techies out there know something different?
ReplyDeleteIt would kind of be like picking the lock and reading a personal diary though. I guess just as any other time they are somewhere we are not, we're praying for that old common sense and good judgement "thing" again. (If alarms and whistles are going off regarding internet though, experts all agree it should be directly addressed by parents.)
Ask your child if you can see their page, just one time. Or someone else's page if they are reticent and shy about their own. Just the plain old run of the mill pages are quite interesting and fascinating. Be prepared though. It's like music lyrics and fashion trends, we are another generation!!! C
sometimes privacy issues are second priority to checking on my kid's activities. If she is writing something she does not want me to see, she shouldn't be writing it in the first place.
ReplyDeleteThat is so true. I am so happy to know other people feel the same way. I thought I was alone out here.
ReplyDeleteHow young is to young to have an account on one of the sites like MySpace??
ReplyDeleteI can once again tell you from personal experience,that kids are doing things they should not be doing, all the while with the most innocent clear eyed appearance on their faces!
Grandson had an account on Xanga, and after finding some things that were totally "questionable", I had it removed! Thank God I had his password!
I try my best to go with the flow of a changing society, and we have become a pretty "loose" society. But I agree with HardNose!
My personal opinion is that until the day a child is living on his or her own income, in their own place, it is my responsibility to see that certain standards of safety and decency are followed in my home...
It is true that our children are only gifts on loan to us from God. It is also true that we the care givers are also on loan to the children. We should care for and protect one another as God requires. Having said that, let me to continue to say, NO CHILD UNDER 18 should be allowed on the computer without close supervision! There ARE preditors and ALL of our kids are easy targets because of the false sense of "bonding" the internet creates... It ( the internet highway) is a wealth of information that certainly enriches education, but the down side is that it also contains a lot of dangerous stuff that IS seducing not only our kids, but many adults as well.
If you are one of those Wonderful Parents who KNOWS who your kids are hanging out with and where, then why on earth would you not KNOW what they are doing on the internet?! KNOW!!!! Their privacy IS secondary to their physical safety and mental well being.
CaveDwellers
CaveDwellers, I love the metaphor of our children being on loan to us! And our being on loan to them!
ReplyDeleteAnother thing about the computer is that there is so much pornography to look at, and it comes out of nowhere! In looking up a virtual tour of the Colosseum in Rome to show my students, I was redirected to the Virtual Colosseum, which involved naked Latina women and chains. Very innocently you can be lead to a questionable site.
Also, watch for your browser being cleared when you get up in the morning. It might be a sign that your child has been on a website he/she knows you would not approve of!