Winning the Parent Lottery

Randy Pausch, computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University is dying of pancreatic cancer. Well, maybe I should say he is living of pancreatic cancer. Maybe you saw him on tv recently - I didn't, but wish I had. I picked up his book at the book store because I needed some inspiration put back in my life. Randy definitely has the market cornered on that.

Randy addresses topics of Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams, Adventures, Enabling the Dreams of Others, and It's About How to Live Your Life in his book The Last Lecture. He has had phenomenal experiences in his life, but what struck me was how many times he mentions his parents in his lecture. He claims he won the parent lottery - what an awesome tribute to those people who brought him into the world.

Just what was so great about Randy's parents? His mother was an old-school English teacher who had definite expectations for her children, but allowed them the creative freedom to explore and express themselves. His father was a WW II veteran who had won the bronze star for saving fellow soldiers' lives, although Pausch never knew this until after his father's death. His dad also started a non-profit organization to help immigrant children learn English. Needless to say, these parents set the bar high.

Pausch says money was never an issue in their home, but his parents didn't buy much. Instead, they thought about everything. A dictionary was madatory at the dinner table. His mom and dad under-wrote a 50 student dormitory in Thailand. When Pausch recieved his PhD, his mother would introduce him as her doctor son, but "not the kind that helps people," always keeping his ego in check. Humility, compassion, integrity, achieving wealth in thrift while greatly enjoying life - these are the lessons his parents instilled.

Pausch may have won the parent lottery, but his parents didn't wait for fate or the lottery to determine their course of action. The lottery implies that the choice to be a good parent is out of our hands and that's not true. Everyday we can make a conscious decision to be the kind of parent a kid will still look up to when he/she is fifty or seventy or ninety, long after we are gone. Our kids may not have a choice about whom they get as parents, but we do have a choice about what kind of parents we are and what kind of leadership we provide for our children.