Talk To A Grown-Up

It is entirely likely your teenager will encounter a situation about which your teen will need adult input...and won't always want it from a parent. For many reasons teens may not want to go to us for help... and it is in our best interest to facilitate and support our teen's relationships with other adults. Aunts and uncles are often the best candidates for such a role, but truly this role can be fulfilled by anyone who is trustworthy. Family friends, cousins, teachers, coaches, school counselors, youth leaders…. it seems obvious. The more positive adults in our teen's life, the stronger the support network will be. Even better, the less likely that our child will run into serious trouble.

Some parents are jealous of a special relationship between their child and another adult This has always struck me as being selfish and short-sighted. There is no room for jealousy here, a supportive adult can be a life-saver. As long as the "significant other" adult in your teen's life is a positive and constructive influence, do the Happy Dance. A mature confidant is a blessing for your child.

There is an interesting side note here. Often those“fun adults” our children find so easy to talk to find things a little different when they have kids of their own. It's funny how their own kids consider their parent quite strict and serious. See, our role is different and we play it differently when dealing with our own children. Maybe you will even be the supportive adult in another child's life.

What adult does your teens consider close enough to confide in? Let your teens know that this is important and that you support them in these relationships. If there are adults that you feel don't share your values, speak about this with your child so you can provide some subtle guidance. Then sit back and don't try to control it, because ( I know this one is hard) this relationship is not one for us to manage.

We are the on the front line as role models for our teenagers. There is no doubt about that. But the back-up support of other interested adults is reassuring and comforting. Think about who this might be for your child. I am not above cultivating a relationship by encouraging interaction. Just don't be too obvious. It's the kiss of death if our kids know their parents are promoting anything!!!! chrissie