On Vacation

One of the Wagner family's favorite flicks (whew) is tasteless, corny and absolutely hysterical- The 80's film-National Lampoon's- Vacation. Clark Griswald and family set off on a cross-country expedition to a Los Angeles theme park. Simple enough. Not. On their way to Wally World, the Griswald family experiences every cliche of a "family vacation" Combine the National Lampoon brand of humor (Think John Belushi and Animal House) and you get a cult comedy classic.

My family just took a cross country trip of its own. Luckily, Florida wasn't closed and the beaches were up and running. I don't know why a road trip to the Gulf seemed in order but off we went, caravan style, three generations off to make memories.

The world has changed since the car trips of my childhood. DVD's. Video games. Communicating from car to car. Email and Facebook. Ipods. Ipads. Navigation Systems.

I remember one return from Pensacola. I was in the car driven by my Grandmother and guess who was supposed to be reading the map. This is not a skill I had as a nine year old. We had to double back over a good hour and a half, as a side trip to North Carolina was not on our itinerary. My parents and a brother or two were calmly eating nut rolls and perusing the souvenirs at Stuckeys in Jackson when we finally caught up.

Our trek last week followed the usual norms. Bright eyed and bushy-tailed early morning departure. A stop at the Arkansas visitor center for maps and bathroom breaks. All is good so far. Lunch at a Mexican restaurant is Dumas, Arkansas. Perhaps not the best choice for a long car ride. A stop in Vicksburg to see the civil war memorial. Note: do not walk into a museum gift shop with small children unless you intend to buy something. Resume caravan with miniature cannon and a 1860 era bonnet. Traffic bumper to bumper. Husband and son-in-law muttering and mouthing to each other from car to car. Continued promise of refreshing swim to antsy children. Make it to Mobile and check into hotel. Pool is green and cloudy. Ecoli swamp. Make it to rooms. Hot baths. Grandchild pulls duvet back to get into bed. Screams. Grandmother screams. Mother screams. Sheets. Not good. Let's just leave it that perhaps the room had been previously used prior to our arrival.

It is uphill from here. Our week at the beach was just what you want it to be. Wonderful. Our family had an absolutely lovely time. We ate too much, slept too little, swam with wild dolphins and collected buckets of hermit crabs. We zip-lined, art galleried, biked and snorkeled. We walked on the beach at sunrise and again at sunset. Some of us learned to swim and left floaties behind for babies. We cooked mountains of seafood with dear friends. We toasted this time in our lives and once again, remembered our blessings. We may be Wagner World but its who we are. We take that with us wherever we go. Even on vacation.

Couldn't help but include some lines from Clark Griswald and his family. Enjoy. chrissie

Ellen Griswold: [leaving the house] I turned off the water, the stove, the heat and the air, locked the door, notified the police, stopped the papers. I called to get the grass cut. Did I put the timers on the living-room lights?
.Clark: Why aren't we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that.
Clark: Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes... or perhaps you don't want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away

Clark: Russ, it's really great that I can spend time with you and... uh... uh... uh...
Rusty: Audrey, Dad.

Clark: Despite all the little problems it's fun isn't it?
Ellen Griswold: No. But with every new day there's fresh hope

Clark Griswald: When I was a boy, just about every summer we'd take a vacation. And you know, in 18 years, we never had fun.
. Clark: Oh, you can't think I'd do this on purpose? Look... I tied him to the rear bumper while I was packing the car. It was very confusing. I must have forgot. I'm very sorry, I feel terrible.
Motorcycle Cop: How do you think that little dog feels?
Clark: Look, I told you I was sorry. It really was an accident.
Motorcycle Cop: Well, I guess I can buy that, sir. But it is a shame. I had a pooch like this when I was a kid.
[both Clark and the motorcycle cop sorrowfully look at the empty road behind them]
Motorcycle Cop: Poor little guy. Probably kept up with you for a mile or so.
[tearing up]
Motorcycle Cop: Tough little mutt

Marty Moose: Sorry, folks! We're closed for two weeks to clean and repair America's favorite family fun park. Sorry, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!


Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Sorry folks, park's closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya.