Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Be Connected - Stay Connected

It's horrifying to watch. It's hard to miss. Turn on any news show and the video is endlessly played and discussed. Six girls lure a 16-year-old " friend" to a home with a phone call. She is met at the door by one girl while five others hide. As she walks into the trap two teens begin attacking her, slamming her head against the wall. When the ambushed girl regains consciousness, the girls take turns hitting her, all the while cheering one another on and videoing the thirty-minute attack. One voice is heard yelling: "There is only 17 seconds left, make it good." Two boys wait outside as lookouts.

All eight teens have been arrested for assault The victim apparently posted something against one of the girls on My Space. According to her attackers the girl deserved the treatment. Not one of the young women has showed any remorse for their deeds.

It's time for a reality check. This incident is not an isolated affair. Physical aggression among girls is a quickly growing trend. Statistics reveal that American girls are becoming as prone to violent behavior as boys. Dr Ruth Peters, a Today show contributor, sites the following:

· 20 years ago roughly ten boys were arrested for assault every one girl. That ratio is now four to one.
· Girls in gangs are just as likely to participate in beatings as boys.
· U.S. Department of Justice shows that in 1990 one in 50 juvenile arrests for all crimes is a girl. In 2003 one in three juvenile arrests for violent crimes is a girl.
· More than one in every four teens aged 13 to 15 who are arrested for aggravated assault is a girl.


The question is, why now? What has changed in our culture that triggers young women (and young men) to physically attack each other, seemingly without regret or remorse? Experts argue that video games, TV and movies, mass media, popular music and the Internet all glorify violence. There is a site to post fights on My Space called "Put Em On." That promised 15 minutes of fame further encourages the actions. It also validates and legitimizes the violence. Certainly, these examples are symptoms of a culture gone haywire, but these influences are unfortunately modeled by adult behaviors the kids come in contact with every day. Their actions are reflecting adult culture.

Sit a couple of times at a Little League game and watch a parent "lose it" over a call. Shows like Jerry Springer have made cat fighting a form of entertainment. A distraught Father murders his own children, just to get back at his wife. A college student dresses in black and methodically shoots anything moving, because of his own personal failures. Individuals drive by houses and fire guns out of the window, all in the name of "saving face." An inconvenient pregnancy is no big deal, thanks to Roe V/S Wade. Road Rage is how some deal with the frustration of merely driving a car. Could it be true? Is a society of screaming, vitriolic, short tempered and self- centered grown-ups raising America's children?

Remember Steve Martin's comment from the movie Parenthood ? "You have to have a license to go fishing but they put a live baby in your arms and let you walk straight out of the hospital." It's true. This infant is placed in our care, unfortunately, without any operating instructions. Mothers and Fathers have to go on instinct and what they themselves learned at their own parents knee. If the experience wasn't so great, statistics show the next generation won't be so great at parenting either.

American families must break this cycle. Kids cannot be cast adrift to raise themselves. Parents, get to your kids before the culture does. Then, when our children are faced with decisions, they will have the tools and the inner voices to make the right choices. Dr. Michael Bradley observes that parenting is a contact sport. Be connected with your children. Only through this connection will they learn what is right, what is good and what is true.

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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

How could "An inconvenient pregnancy is no big deal, thanks to Roe V/S Wade." be placed amongst a list of violent atrocities. Getting an abortion is not a "convenient" way of dealing with an unintended pregnancy. Some women get abortions because they were raped. You should be ashamed of yourself for drawing such blank conclusions. And by the way, who's caring for all of those unwanted children in the world? Have you adopted any of them? I'm pretty sure you haven't.

Melony Carey and Chrissie Wagner said...

Good point I was referring to abortion used as birth control. It does happen and more often than you think. I certainly agree in a case of rape, termination should be considered. As far as who takes care of unplanned children, there are couples standing two abreast who want to adopt. My brother and sister-in-law waited three years for their son. Did I adopt? No. We were blessed that having birth children was possible.
As far as "ashamed" No. I guess I am pretty conservative about the issue. Where life begins is always up for debate I guess. I know how I feel and you know your own position.
I appreciate your input, thanks for keeping me honest! C

Anonymous said...

It is hard to let this comment pass.

If I'm not mistaken there are many reasons to abort a baby in the mind of the mother. Irrespective of the fact that it is a living breathing human being.
Someone's mind may say it's just a zygote, it was a rape, I'm too young, I'm too old, I will be embarassed, my family will be embarrased, my boyfriend won't love me anymore, my mother, sister, cousin had an abortion and they are ok I guess, the law says it's my body and I can do what ever I want to, my teacher or my counselor said it's ok, I plan on having children later to make up for this one, I should have taken the pill, why didn't he (I) use some form of birth control, I can't raise this baby, it will ruin my life.

It is hard for me to believe that the miracle of birth and life can boil down to the types of questions we try and ask as if it were a situational ethics problem and we attempt to use our new found momentiary ethics to replace some deeper questions about life and love and what do I really believe and plan to live with for the rest of my life.

It is certainly a personal decision but I believe that there are valuable resources at hand and not finger pointing and blaming intolerance that can help guide the woman. I'm thinking of ministers, priests, rabbis, spiritual leaders, and counselors that can offer some sound wisdom.

This is a life long piece of a woman's life that will be dealt with on many levels. I'm here because my mother chose life.

Melony Carey and Chrissie Wagner said...

"Anonymous"- You are preaching to the choir-Life is a miracle-
but,as evidenced in this subject's history in America, both sides (Right To Life and Right to Choose) are passionate and committed to their position. I have a personal opinion which I voiced in the original blog and one that I felt comfortable signing my name to. On the other hand, I have never been in a position that I had to make that choice and cannot speak for anyone but myself. C

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