Recently the Los Angeles Times posted a warning about identity theft and kids. What follows are guidelines and safety tips.
1. Educate your teens about Social Security Numbers
They should know what their social security number is and know the importance of keeping the number private.
2. Warn your teens about Phishing
We have all heard about those crazy emails from a deposed dictator who wants to wire you $1,000,000? Many kids do not have any idea these are total scams. Tell your kids to immediately report these emails as spam and do not download or click on anything in the email.
3. Rip up mail with information on it
Teens often get credit card offers, bank statements or other mail with personal information. They need to get in the habit of ripping up their mail before throwing it away- thieves can go through trash to get information.
4. Shield home computers from viruses and spies
Protect personal information. Use strong passwords with at least eight characters, including a combination of letters, numbers and symbols, easy for you to remember, but difficult for others to guess. Use firewall, virus and spyware protection software and update it regularly. Steer clear of spyware. Download free software only from sites you know and trust. Don't install software without knowing what it is.
5. Set Internet Explorer browser security to at least "medium".
Teach your kids not to click on links in pop-up windows.
6. "Click" carefully
Teach kids about shopping online and to check out a Web site before entering credit card numbers or other personal information.
7. Stop Pre-Approved credit offers
Have your name removed from credit bureau marketing lists. Call toll-free 1-888-50PTOUT (567-8688).
8. Monitor credit reports and know what and where your kids are spending
Check credit reports and look out for suspicious activity.
Identity theft is daunting enough for ourselves. Now we're warned to watch our for our kids too! Hope this information helps.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Prom Night in Mississippi
How in the world did I miss this ground breaking news? It's phenomenal, but so hard to believe that I thought it might be an urban legend. If it hadn't been an NPR story, I would never have believed it is true.
Charleston, Mississippi held its first racially mixed Prom since its schools were integrated in 1970. Even though they attend school together, the school's African American and white students have not attended a Prom together. Evidently the town's inhabitants haven't thought anything about the separate Proms for the last 38 years, that is not until actor Morgan Freeman, a native of Charleston, offered to pay for the students to have an integrated Prom. Freeman made his first offer back in 1997, but the town didn't take accept. But in April of this year black and white students alike washed their cars, rented tuxes, had their hair done and walked through the same doors to the same Prom.
The teen years have always posed a problem for black and white parents alike. What to do if your child wants to date a person of another race? This was evidently one of the concerns of the Charleston residents that prevented them from having an interracial Prom for so long. Likewise, I have heard residents in our community, both black and white, acknowledge the same concern throughout the 33 years I have been a teacher here. What advice could I possibly give to anxious parents? Each family has to decide based on their own world-view and moral convictions while their children are teens.
Fear is a motivating factor for both black and white parents. As with any person your child dates, knowing his/her family and what "kind of people they come from" can alleviate those fears. That is the number one rule of dating, so applying it to whomever your child goes out with, regardless of race, is essential if you care about your teen's welfare. You should expect courtesy, integrity, shared interests and values, honesty, and intelligence as minimum characteristics for anyone in whom your teen is interested.
I suspect we did not hear much about the Charleston Prom until June because a movie was filmed that night. Prom Night in Mississippi will tell the story of the night that made history by being 38 years late. That's fine - better late than never for bringing understanding to the world. The school has agreed to sponsor the Prom next year.
Charleston, Mississippi held its first racially mixed Prom since its schools were integrated in 1970. Even though they attend school together, the school's African American and white students have not attended a Prom together. Evidently the town's inhabitants haven't thought anything about the separate Proms for the last 38 years, that is not until actor Morgan Freeman, a native of Charleston, offered to pay for the students to have an integrated Prom. Freeman made his first offer back in 1997, but the town didn't take accept. But in April of this year black and white students alike washed their cars, rented tuxes, had their hair done and walked through the same doors to the same Prom.
The teen years have always posed a problem for black and white parents alike. What to do if your child wants to date a person of another race? This was evidently one of the concerns of the Charleston residents that prevented them from having an interracial Prom for so long. Likewise, I have heard residents in our community, both black and white, acknowledge the same concern throughout the 33 years I have been a teacher here. What advice could I possibly give to anxious parents? Each family has to decide based on their own world-view and moral convictions while their children are teens.
Fear is a motivating factor for both black and white parents. As with any person your child dates, knowing his/her family and what "kind of people they come from" can alleviate those fears. That is the number one rule of dating, so applying it to whomever your child goes out with, regardless of race, is essential if you care about your teen's welfare. You should expect courtesy, integrity, shared interests and values, honesty, and intelligence as minimum characteristics for anyone in whom your teen is interested.
I suspect we did not hear much about the Charleston Prom until June because a movie was filmed that night. Prom Night in Mississippi will tell the story of the night that made history by being 38 years late. That's fine - better late than never for bringing understanding to the world. The school has agreed to sponsor the Prom next year.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Saving For A Rainy Day
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Watching the news, you can't help but be concerned about America's economic stability. Banks closing, the stock market falling, gas prices, and the mortgage mess. A good friend found out Thursday that his publicly traded company had failed to meet a margin call when he got a phone call from a concerned golfing buddy. Is the sky really falling?
Seems to me that one of the most important things we can do for America's future is to raise financially savvy children. These teens will someday go out into the world. If they have learned to balance a checkbook, work for their money, spend only what they make, and save for a rainy day, we as parents have done our job well.
The example many of us are setting is just the opposite. One way is by living above our means. I can't tell you how many of my students talked about not answering the phone after 5:00 because "the man" was calling regarding overdue bills. They have watched their parents buy what they could not afford and live with the consequences. Instant gratification is the watch word for many American families. The long term results are crippling.
Those families blessed with abundant resources are not doing their children a favor by giving them everything. A strong work ethic is an important component of success in later life. Over-indulging our children short changes them and creates selfish, self- centered kids who do not appreciate their bounty and want even more. The satisfaction of wanting something and figuring how to get it is a good thing. Goals are set, plans are made, skills are learned and experiencing personal pride are all by products of working for something. Letting a teen go without is sometimes a good thing. Grades, conduct, attitude, involvement; all these expectations should factor in to what is given and what is not. It's not a bribe, it is an incentive.
Lastly, kids who grow up with families who are totally dependent on outside aid are not learning that hard work can prove satisfying and rewarding. Hard work and initiative are a way up and out. Kids live frugally and hand to mouth, but since children learn what they live, they expect no better for themselves. The "government cheese" attitude is creating a generation without dreams and without the life skills needed, even if they have them.
Greedy men and women have allowed some bad things to happen in our country. Just when you think checks and balances have been put in place because of the " last time", another disturbing announcement comes across the TV screen. The mortgage mess is a prime example. America's parents and America's children need to remember there is no free lunch. It's imperative that all of us realize we cannot count on our government to save us. It is up to each of us to tighten our belts, pay off our debts and live within our means. It isn't as much fun, but as Lily Tomlin's Edith Ann would say, " but that's the truth..."
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Watching the news, you can't help but be concerned about America's economic stability. Banks closing, the stock market falling, gas prices, and the mortgage mess. A good friend found out Thursday that his publicly traded company had failed to meet a margin call when he got a phone call from a concerned golfing buddy. Is the sky really falling?
Seems to me that one of the most important things we can do for America's future is to raise financially savvy children. These teens will someday go out into the world. If they have learned to balance a checkbook, work for their money, spend only what they make, and save for a rainy day, we as parents have done our job well.
The example many of us are setting is just the opposite. One way is by living above our means. I can't tell you how many of my students talked about not answering the phone after 5:00 because "the man" was calling regarding overdue bills. They have watched their parents buy what they could not afford and live with the consequences. Instant gratification is the watch word for many American families. The long term results are crippling.
Those families blessed with abundant resources are not doing their children a favor by giving them everything. A strong work ethic is an important component of success in later life. Over-indulging our children short changes them and creates selfish, self- centered kids who do not appreciate their bounty and want even more. The satisfaction of wanting something and figuring how to get it is a good thing. Goals are set, plans are made, skills are learned and experiencing personal pride are all by products of working for something. Letting a teen go without is sometimes a good thing. Grades, conduct, attitude, involvement; all these expectations should factor in to what is given and what is not. It's not a bribe, it is an incentive.
Lastly, kids who grow up with families who are totally dependent on outside aid are not learning that hard work can prove satisfying and rewarding. Hard work and initiative are a way up and out. Kids live frugally and hand to mouth, but since children learn what they live, they expect no better for themselves. The "government cheese" attitude is creating a generation without dreams and without the life skills needed, even if they have them.
Greedy men and women have allowed some bad things to happen in our country. Just when you think checks and balances have been put in place because of the " last time", another disturbing announcement comes across the TV screen. The mortgage mess is a prime example. America's parents and America's children need to remember there is no free lunch. It's imperative that all of us realize we cannot count on our government to save us. It is up to each of us to tighten our belts, pay off our debts and live within our means. It isn't as much fun, but as Lily Tomlin's Edith Ann would say, " but that's the truth..."
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Friday, July 18, 2008
Post Post Post Post Adolescence
Ready or Not, Here Life Comes by Mel Levine, M.D. is a look at how our society makes it hard for kids to grow into productive adults and offers advice for helping young people make the transition. Dr. Levine is not the only person making this observation. Diana West has written about the American culture of prolonging adolescence into late adulthood in her new book, The Death of the Grown-Up: How America's Arrested Development is Bringing Down Western Civilization.
While the prediction of the end of Western civilization is a little drastic, there is a phenomenon, probably developing out of the youth culture of the 60's, which has redefined what adulthood means in the U.S. It has signaled not the end of aging toward adulthood, an inescapable process, but the end of the acceptance of responsibility for the greater good in favor of individual will/desire (me, me, me) and an end to an acceptance of the realities of life in favor of denial, role confusion (the parent now often needs parenting), and family chaos, as well as chaos for the young individual.
The pain this phenomenon is causing is not evident until one listens to the stories of young people now struggling to understand what happened to them through their teen years. Too frequently we hear about people who were excellent students throughout high school - award winners, honor roll students, superior athletes, students who barely studied and made good grades - but who are barely making it after high school. Others are just derailed by the system or passed along for other reasons. But one common theme is that throughout their lives they have never been interested in the lives of adults. Young people today identify with other young people almost exclusively without preparation for moving into adulthood.
Staying young at heart is one thing, but remaining juvenile is completely different, having deliterious effects on the individual and his family. What can a parent do? Dr. Levine suggests achieving the right mixes, but that is a tricky process guaged only by the wisdom of the parent. Some practical advice to achieve the balance and divert catastrophe before your child is out of high school is as follows:
1. Praise and criticism: Every six criticisms should be balanced by four praises.
2. Discipline and freedom: Autonomous things that do not pose a threat to the teen's safety (clean bedroom, etc.) shoud be free from parental control. Things affecting safety and others (shared bedrooms or bathrooms, curfew) should be regulated by the parents.
3. Parental Intervention: Parents should do more listening than advising. Kids rarely listen to us, anyway, and by not advising and solving problems, we help our teens learn to solve problems themselves. Unless you want your 55-year-old child still running to you to solve everything, you'd better listen to that one!
4. Interaction with adults: Dr. Levine recommends that parents should see to it that their children have conversations with adults regularly who are not teachers or relatives. They should have a chance to interact with and observe adults to get a feel for what adulthood is like.
5. Leisure and Work: Dr. Levine advocates for 75% work, 25% leisure.
If you have a post high school or particularly post-college child who is having difficulty be aware of that bad, even lethal tactics to take are preaching, lecturing, criticizing, accusing, and showing drastic disappointment. Instead try tolerance, listening and simple advice, getting help for your child, and most of all showing respect for your child as a person. He/she is, after all, an adult.
While the prediction of the end of Western civilization is a little drastic, there is a phenomenon, probably developing out of the youth culture of the 60's, which has redefined what adulthood means in the U.S. It has signaled not the end of aging toward adulthood, an inescapable process, but the end of the acceptance of responsibility for the greater good in favor of individual will/desire (me, me, me) and an end to an acceptance of the realities of life in favor of denial, role confusion (the parent now often needs parenting), and family chaos, as well as chaos for the young individual.
The pain this phenomenon is causing is not evident until one listens to the stories of young people now struggling to understand what happened to them through their teen years. Too frequently we hear about people who were excellent students throughout high school - award winners, honor roll students, superior athletes, students who barely studied and made good grades - but who are barely making it after high school. Others are just derailed by the system or passed along for other reasons. But one common theme is that throughout their lives they have never been interested in the lives of adults. Young people today identify with other young people almost exclusively without preparation for moving into adulthood.
Staying young at heart is one thing, but remaining juvenile is completely different, having deliterious effects on the individual and his family. What can a parent do? Dr. Levine suggests achieving the right mixes, but that is a tricky process guaged only by the wisdom of the parent. Some practical advice to achieve the balance and divert catastrophe before your child is out of high school is as follows:
1. Praise and criticism: Every six criticisms should be balanced by four praises.
2. Discipline and freedom: Autonomous things that do not pose a threat to the teen's safety (clean bedroom, etc.) shoud be free from parental control. Things affecting safety and others (shared bedrooms or bathrooms, curfew) should be regulated by the parents.
3. Parental Intervention: Parents should do more listening than advising. Kids rarely listen to us, anyway, and by not advising and solving problems, we help our teens learn to solve problems themselves. Unless you want your 55-year-old child still running to you to solve everything, you'd better listen to that one!
4. Interaction with adults: Dr. Levine recommends that parents should see to it that their children have conversations with adults regularly who are not teachers or relatives. They should have a chance to interact with and observe adults to get a feel for what adulthood is like.
5. Leisure and Work: Dr. Levine advocates for 75% work, 25% leisure.
If you have a post high school or particularly post-college child who is having difficulty be aware of that bad, even lethal tactics to take are preaching, lecturing, criticizing, accusing, and showing drastic disappointment. Instead try tolerance, listening and simple advice, getting help for your child, and most of all showing respect for your child as a person. He/she is, after all, an adult.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Make It Count
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Can you believe it? Summer's halfway over. The kids have been home for 6 weeks. Though the time off is grand, certain things may be getting on your nerves. Dirty dishes in the sink, milk left on the counter, arguments about activities and curfews, chores left undone, any of this sound familiar? Do you feel like your teens are not listening, much less cooperating? Close your eyes. Stand back a minute. Think about why you are frustrated and impatient. Then think about how to switch gears and redirect the energy in your home.
Don't major in the minors
Five small words that speak volumes: Don't sweat the small stuff! If you look back over the summer you will remember lots of arguments and tiffs that really amounted to very little. A rule of thumb? "If it won't have a lasting effect beyond a few days, let it go." Sound too simplistic? Perhaps in some cases, but most of the time it's a sanity saver. A kid has not been permanently damaged by not brushing their teeth for a few nights, or by playing music too loud, or by the bed actually being made only on sheet-changing days. Or, if your son is too tired to complete the lawn mowing once in a while, you may let him get up early the next morning and finish the job.
What is important, though, is that the focus is upon the important things. Your "important" may be different from your neighbor's list of priorities. In your house having dinner together may be important as it helps keep communication open and children eating something nutritious. Dr. Oz calls American kids "white kids". Nothing to do with race, merely the color of the foods that make up the bulk of our children's diets. Focus on green and orange and red and yellow for a while. Changing your family's eating habits could be considered "the big stuff."
Your family code of values (what's major, not minor) may involve promises made, being where you say you will be, curfews, driving, abstinence from substance use, etc. It is different for everyone, but try to focus upon issues that involve education, safety, avoidance of illegal activities and positive peer and role models for your kids. If your daughter wants to try purple streaks in her hair, perhaps that's a possibility this summer when it won't be so embarrassing. Simply put, go along with some of the requests, compromise when possible and stick to your guns on the big stuff. As a student of mine once aptly explained, " I just tune out my Mom because it's always blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, my Dad is usually quiet so when he says something, I know it's important and I had better listen."
Make your words count when it comes to instruction and discipline. Fill in the open spaces with words of praise, love and encouragement. As my Yoga teacher explained, "fill the air with positive energy." Take a deep breath. Ummmmm.
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Thursday, July 10, 2008
Creating a Moment With Teens
Have you seen interior designer Bill Stubb's television show, A Moment of Luxury? I love Bill's philosophy that luxury comes in snippets of joy, rather than being derived from opulent wealth, riches, or money of any kind. Rather, he claims that simple things, like going to the show with a friend, enjoying a great work of art, or sitting in a tranquil garden are wonderful moments of luxury that everyone can enjoy.
In our often too hectic and materialistic lifestyle beautiful moments of luxury evade us. Bill's philosophy is that you can fill a house with luxurious items, but without other elements, all you've done is fill a house with beautiful items. Likewise, we can buy our teens everything they want, but without other elements, they are meaningless items and all we have achieved is that we have bought material goods.
Rather, according to Bill's philosophy of a moment of luxury, people are key to building those moments through generosity and sharing. We can easily build those moments of luxury with our teens. In most instances, moments are all we have and the best we can hope for in the busy lives we lead. It makes perfect sense, then, to keep our eyes open for those opportune moments.
Based on Bill's tips, here are some moments you can grab with your teens, regardless of your budget:
*Visit an art museum - you don't even have to go in, if you don't want to. The grounds of Philbrook Museum in Tulsa would make a great place to take some pictures of your beautiful children. There are also pieces of sculpture to enjoy on the grounds, as well as the Italian Renaissance grotto and garden. Or, visit the Five Civilized Tribes Museum, the Thomas-Foreman Home or Bacone College's Ataloa Lodge right here in Muskogee. I am always amazed at how many young people have not visited those important Muskogee attractions.
*Grab an appetizer and a drink at a restaurant you've always wanted to try. Or just split a dessert with your child. You don't have to spring for a full meal to absorb the fun atmosphere.
*Go to a college student union or bookstore. Buy a notebook with the university's logo on it for your teen to use in class. It will be a silent reminder that college is an expectation.
*Can't afford to live in a mansion, but you can afford to drive around a luxurious neighborhood and admire the architecture.
*Cook up a special meal with your child and serve it to the family on the good dishes.
In the grand scheme of things it really doesn't take much at all to live a life of luxury. The spirit of generosity, of spending the most costly and precious thing in the world with your children - your time. That's real luxury.
You can catch A Moment of Luxury on the Rogers State College channel (21 on Suddenlink cable) on Thursday evenings at 9:00 p.m. Visit the website at the highlighted link above for a moment of luxury of your own.
In our often too hectic and materialistic lifestyle beautiful moments of luxury evade us. Bill's philosophy is that you can fill a house with luxurious items, but without other elements, all you've done is fill a house with beautiful items. Likewise, we can buy our teens everything they want, but without other elements, they are meaningless items and all we have achieved is that we have bought material goods.
Rather, according to Bill's philosophy of a moment of luxury, people are key to building those moments through generosity and sharing. We can easily build those moments of luxury with our teens. In most instances, moments are all we have and the best we can hope for in the busy lives we lead. It makes perfect sense, then, to keep our eyes open for those opportune moments.
Based on Bill's tips, here are some moments you can grab with your teens, regardless of your budget:
*Visit an art museum - you don't even have to go in, if you don't want to. The grounds of Philbrook Museum in Tulsa would make a great place to take some pictures of your beautiful children. There are also pieces of sculpture to enjoy on the grounds, as well as the Italian Renaissance grotto and garden. Or, visit the Five Civilized Tribes Museum, the Thomas-Foreman Home or Bacone College's Ataloa Lodge right here in Muskogee. I am always amazed at how many young people have not visited those important Muskogee attractions.
*Grab an appetizer and a drink at a restaurant you've always wanted to try. Or just split a dessert with your child. You don't have to spring for a full meal to absorb the fun atmosphere.
*Go to a college student union or bookstore. Buy a notebook with the university's logo on it for your teen to use in class. It will be a silent reminder that college is an expectation.
*Can't afford to live in a mansion, but you can afford to drive around a luxurious neighborhood and admire the architecture.
*Cook up a special meal with your child and serve it to the family on the good dishes.
*Stay at home - have breakfast on a weekend morning. That's the lap of luxury and it fits in with this year's stay-cation package.
*The summer night is full of stars. Nothing is more luxurious than lying on a blanket and gazing up at the stars, trying to identify constellations. Maybe you should reserve this moment of luxury for you and your significant other while the teens are out with their friends. Make sure you use mosquito repellant.In the grand scheme of things it really doesn't take much at all to live a life of luxury. The spirit of generosity, of spending the most costly and precious thing in the world with your children - your time. That's real luxury.
You can catch A Moment of Luxury on the Rogers State College channel (21 on Suddenlink cable) on Thursday evenings at 9:00 p.m. Visit the website at the highlighted link above for a moment of luxury of your own.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Splish Splash
Another 4th of July, come and gone. I washed and dried 33 towels today, (yes, I counted) and probably an equal number of t-shirts and athletic shorts. Our cabin was like Grand Central Station as my children came and went, fitting us in with their other holiday activities. Some now come with married friends in tow and our usually casual sleeping arrangements seem a little primitive for either pregnant or recently delivered female guests. Throwing a musty sleeping bag on a Naugahyde couch just doesn't do it. Of course, no sibling coordinates arrivals and departures, beds or canoe use with another one, so it's pretty much every man for himself. Throw in two grand babies and it gets pretty tight. Next year I need to get a flashing No Vacancy sign with a maximum occupancy posting beneath it.
One thing that has helped is our outdoor shower. First, a little background. I had a picture from Pottery Barn that I showed my handy husband. Would he build it for me? It was a simple and environmentally pleasing apparatus. A minimal shower, it's delicate pipes camouflaged by ivy that beautifully wrapped around the tree and the plumbing. Laughing little children were standing under the shower head on a small circle of pea gravel under a canopy of tree branches. Matching towels in coordinating colors hung in an aesthetically pleasing row, (100 % cotton of course) and large sea grass baskets hung from the trees with wonderful potions, expensive soaps and exotic lotions.
I knew my vision was in jeopardy when I saw my husband and two sons unloading 16 sheets of corrugated metal. Next, an old septic tank lid was resurrected from behind the shed and placed on the ground. Huge walls of metal were built around the concrete lid and industrial strength fittings and faucets were installed. One son went down to the gravel bar on the four wheeler. He returned with stinky river rocks the size of softballs and artfully arranged the gravel around the septic tank lid. Oldest son almost lost a toe when a razor sharp sheet of the metal was dropped on his foot. Benches and shelving were constructed out of cedar beams from a barn that had burned to the ground. "I knew we could use those beams somewhere. That smoky smell will fade after a while." Someone got the plumbing mixed up so my husband wrote Hot and Cold in ball point pen. Voila. My outdoor shower.
We love it. Next door neighbors know a Wagner or Wagner guest is showering by the steam coming out the top and the bare feet coming out of the bottom. Raggedy beach towel hang in a row and Suave Shampoos, Dial Soap and disposable razors stand ready for everyone. One city guest was a little rattled by a friendly garden snake who joined her at the septic lid. A favorite game is throwing ice water over the top on an unsuspecting bather. Gets em' every time. There is always someone singing at the top of their lungs. Curious dogs happen by for a scratch and a drink. There is always a steady stream of towel wrapped family, coming in from the back door and heading to their respective rooms. We don't dwell much on formality at the river. I knew my son-in-law was one of us the first time I saw him wandering through the cabin, wrapped in a pink and white beach towel.
For me, the best time for the outdoor shower is at night. The moon is overhead, the crickets are chirping and the water is steaming. All is quiet. It is solitary. It is one of the most peaceful places I have ever been. Those times on that septic lid are ones I will remember when I am old and counting special moments. There are just some times you know God is in his heaven and all is right with the world. Showering under the stars is one of them.
Pottery Barn, eat your heart out!
One thing that has helped is our outdoor shower. First, a little background. I had a picture from Pottery Barn that I showed my handy husband. Would he build it for me? It was a simple and environmentally pleasing apparatus. A minimal shower, it's delicate pipes camouflaged by ivy that beautifully wrapped around the tree and the plumbing. Laughing little children were standing under the shower head on a small circle of pea gravel under a canopy of tree branches. Matching towels in coordinating colors hung in an aesthetically pleasing row, (100 % cotton of course) and large sea grass baskets hung from the trees with wonderful potions, expensive soaps and exotic lotions.
I knew my vision was in jeopardy when I saw my husband and two sons unloading 16 sheets of corrugated metal. Next, an old septic tank lid was resurrected from behind the shed and placed on the ground. Huge walls of metal were built around the concrete lid and industrial strength fittings and faucets were installed. One son went down to the gravel bar on the four wheeler. He returned with stinky river rocks the size of softballs and artfully arranged the gravel around the septic tank lid. Oldest son almost lost a toe when a razor sharp sheet of the metal was dropped on his foot. Benches and shelving were constructed out of cedar beams from a barn that had burned to the ground. "I knew we could use those beams somewhere. That smoky smell will fade after a while." Someone got the plumbing mixed up so my husband wrote Hot and Cold in ball point pen. Voila. My outdoor shower.
We love it. Next door neighbors know a Wagner or Wagner guest is showering by the steam coming out the top and the bare feet coming out of the bottom. Raggedy beach towel hang in a row and Suave Shampoos, Dial Soap and disposable razors stand ready for everyone. One city guest was a little rattled by a friendly garden snake who joined her at the septic lid. A favorite game is throwing ice water over the top on an unsuspecting bather. Gets em' every time. There is always someone singing at the top of their lungs. Curious dogs happen by for a scratch and a drink. There is always a steady stream of towel wrapped family, coming in from the back door and heading to their respective rooms. We don't dwell much on formality at the river. I knew my son-in-law was one of us the first time I saw him wandering through the cabin, wrapped in a pink and white beach towel.
For me, the best time for the outdoor shower is at night. The moon is overhead, the crickets are chirping and the water is steaming. All is quiet. It is solitary. It is one of the most peaceful places I have ever been. Those times on that septic lid are ones I will remember when I am old and counting special moments. There are just some times you know God is in his heaven and all is right with the world. Showering under the stars is one of them.
Pottery Barn, eat your heart out!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
IM Relief for Teen Depression
We have had several posts on teens and technology, but just a quick note about instant messaging today. According to an article in Notre Dame Magazine published by the university, one study shows that symptoms of depression are diminished when students increase their instant messaging and email interaction. The same must be true of text messaging.
According to a student study conducted by Notre Dame linguistic anthropology professor Susan Blum, students prefer instant messaging over email or letter correspondence, but surprisingly prefer it even over phone conversations. IM and texting allow a young person to have numerous conversations over a short period of time and while doing other things. According to Blum, students are reveling in a world filled with quick exchanges which make them happy.
It is clear that texting and other computer interactions alleviate the ennui that contributes to feelings of meaningless, disassociation, and depression. This is a positive side to all those little fingers flying across the keyboards of cell phones and laptops. I am left wondering , though, what is happening to the teens without a computer or cell phone, or the ones hopelessly checking to see if even one new message has come through?
For more information on Dr. Blum's report, see www.nd.edu/~sblum/InstantMessaging.pdf
According to a student study conducted by Notre Dame linguistic anthropology professor Susan Blum, students prefer instant messaging over email or letter correspondence, but surprisingly prefer it even over phone conversations. IM and texting allow a young person to have numerous conversations over a short period of time and while doing other things. According to Blum, students are reveling in a world filled with quick exchanges which make them happy.
It is clear that texting and other computer interactions alleviate the ennui that contributes to feelings of meaningless, disassociation, and depression. This is a positive side to all those little fingers flying across the keyboards of cell phones and laptops. I am left wondering , though, what is happening to the teens without a computer or cell phone, or the ones hopelessly checking to see if even one new message has come through?
For more information on Dr. Blum's report, see www.nd.edu/~sblum/InstantMessaging.pdf
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Born in the USA!
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The 4Th of July. One of America's favorite holidays. The birth of our country. Life, liberty and the freedom to pursue happiness. We the people......"Let Freedom Ring." On Friday we will celebrate our country's birthday with family and friends. Watermelons, hamburgers, sunburns and fireworks signify Independence Day for most Americans. It's a holiday that does not involve shopping, complicated baking or extensive decorating. It's just being together with people we love and doing all those wonderful summery things.
Another popular tradition is to display the Stars and Stripes. The American flag is probably the most recognizable metaphor for the United States of America and all she stands for. The flag is a symbol of the sacrifice and service of a few for the freedom and privileges of many. She should wave properly and with reverence. Our children should learn flag etiquette early and be reminded often of it's significance.
Here are some tips to make sure your tribute is a respectful one:
Display the flag only between sunrise and sunset on buildings and stationary flagstaffs. The flag may be displayed for twenty-four hours if illuminated in darkness.
Do not display the flag in inclement weather.
Whether displaying the flag vertically or horizontally, make sure the canton of stars is visible on the upper left-hand side.
Do not let the flag touch the ground.
An unusable flag that is damaged and worn should be destroyed in a dignified way by burning.
When not on display, the flag should be respectfully folded into a triangle, symbolizing the tricorn hats worn by colonial soldiers in the Revolutionary War.
Flag Facts
*Betsy Ross sewed the first American flag. It is not clear who actually designed it, but the experts at the Betsy Ross House suggest it was Francis Hopkinson, a New Jersey delegate to the Continental Congress and a signer of the Declaration of Independence.
*The flag has 13 stripes representing the original 13 colonies (7 red and 6 white).
* In the upper left corner is a navy blue field with 50 white stars that represents the states.
*It is interesting that there is no official designation or meaning for the colors of the flag. There is no record stating why red, white, and blue where chosen for the flag. However, when the Great Seal of the United States was chosen the colors were designated as white for purity and innocence, red for valor and hardiness and blue for vigilance, perseverance, and justice.
(Folktales says that George Washington interpreted the flag in this way: the stars were taken from the sky, the red from the British colors,and the white stripes signified the secession from the home country.)
*If the flag is flown upside down it signals distress. It means "I need help, I'm in trouble" .
*Worn out flags are destroyed, usually by burning.
*When flown at half-staff, the flag is raised to the top of the flag pole then lowered to half-staff. *When taken down, the flag is again raised to the top and then brought down.
*The flag should never touch the ground, the floor, or water.
Have a wonderful holiday from Mel and me! Happy 4th of July!
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.......................
The 4Th of July. One of America's favorite holidays. The birth of our country. Life, liberty and the freedom to pursue happiness. We the people......"Let Freedom Ring." On Friday we will celebrate our country's birthday with family and friends. Watermelons, hamburgers, sunburns and fireworks signify Independence Day for most Americans. It's a holiday that does not involve shopping, complicated baking or extensive decorating. It's just being together with people we love and doing all those wonderful summery things.
Another popular tradition is to display the Stars and Stripes. The American flag is probably the most recognizable metaphor for the United States of America and all she stands for. The flag is a symbol of the sacrifice and service of a few for the freedom and privileges of many. She should wave properly and with reverence. Our children should learn flag etiquette early and be reminded often of it's significance.
Here are some tips to make sure your tribute is a respectful one:
Display the flag only between sunrise and sunset on buildings and stationary flagstaffs. The flag may be displayed for twenty-four hours if illuminated in darkness.
Do not display the flag in inclement weather.
Whether displaying the flag vertically or horizontally, make sure the canton of stars is visible on the upper left-hand side.
Do not let the flag touch the ground.
An unusable flag that is damaged and worn should be destroyed in a dignified way by burning.
When not on display, the flag should be respectfully folded into a triangle, symbolizing the tricorn hats worn by colonial soldiers in the Revolutionary War.
Flag Facts
*Betsy Ross sewed the first American flag. It is not clear who actually designed it, but the experts at the Betsy Ross House suggest it was Francis Hopkinson, a New Jersey delegate to the Continental Congress and a signer of the Declaration of Independence.
*The flag has 13 stripes representing the original 13 colonies (7 red and 6 white).
* In the upper left corner is a navy blue field with 50 white stars that represents the states.
*It is interesting that there is no official designation or meaning for the colors of the flag. There is no record stating why red, white, and blue where chosen for the flag. However, when the Great Seal of the United States was chosen the colors were designated as white for purity and innocence, red for valor and hardiness and blue for vigilance, perseverance, and justice.
(Folktales says that George Washington interpreted the flag in this way: the stars were taken from the sky, the red from the British colors,and the white stripes signified the secession from the home country.)
*If the flag is flown upside down it signals distress. It means "I need help, I'm in trouble" .
*Worn out flags are destroyed, usually by burning.
*When flown at half-staff, the flag is raised to the top of the flag pole then lowered to half-staff. *When taken down, the flag is again raised to the top and then brought down.
*The flag should never touch the ground, the floor, or water.
Have a wonderful holiday from Mel and me! Happy 4th of July!
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