Wednesday, May 28, 2008

What To Read in the Post Harry Potter World

Summertime means a little more time. Time to kick back and do what we want. Time to read. Yes... read.

Reading is basic to being a functioning adult in society. Reading is everywhere, even on the Internet! So, hit the lake, the water park, pool, or ball field during the day. You can still find 10 miutes before falling asleep, and in that 10 minutes, is your time to read at least one book per month. Here is an updated reading list to get the whole family reading:
(click on the title or author and you will be directed, hopefully, to that author's page)

Middle School and Junior High:

Percy Jackson and the Olympians - I gave this to two fourteen-year-old boys I know and they each read, or should I say devoured, all three volumes in only two weeks. If 14-year-olds like it, it must be good. Volume four is out now in hardback, The Labyrinth of Fire, available at Wal Mart, WaldenBooks and Hastings Books and Videos. Good for boys and girls.

Airhead or any of the Meg Cabot novels. Really popular stuff.

Rumors by Anna Godbersen. I want to read this, too.


The Diary of Anne Frank is probably summertime school reading for middle school teens. Why not pair it with The Book Thief by Mark Zusak or How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff. The Book Thief follows a young German teen who loves books Hitler wants to burn and whose family hides a Jewish neighbor at great risk. How I Live Now is about a girl in London and how she lives during a war set slightly in the future.


Senior High:
The Twilight Saga - Stephenie Meyers, a sweet-looking mother and graduate of Brigham Young University, knows how to engage girls with her Austen-eque vampire series. Ostensibly about vampires, the underlying themes of abstinence, family loyalty, doing the right thing, tolerance of others, and by all means young love, make her novels less about vampires and more about the real world and how to get along with the real people in it. I love this series - I would read it again! Waiting for the 4th book to come out.I have to admit, the pickings are slim for guys this age, except in the classic genre.

I haven't seen too many guys over 16 reading a book they weren't forced to read in the last four years since The Da Vinci Code was hot. I did have an intelligent young man who liked Chuck Palahniuk (his writings are violent), another one, now an English major, who tried House of Leaves (an odd thriller for the intelligentsia written by the son of former singer Poe), and, of course, several who enjoy graphic novels, like The 300, Batman, or Sin City. But I can't recommend any of those firsthand. Make sure they do their summer reading - I know so many young men who don't do it and have to take a lesser English class.

Dad:
Dads are probably going to want to read the new James Bond novel The Devil May Care by Sebastian Faulks, released under tight security this week.

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz. Dad would defintitely make it all the way through this one. Just won the Pulitzer. It might make a good Father's Day present for a youngish, snazzy dad who likes to read.
Mom:



Kabul Beauty School: An American Woman Goes Behind the Veil by Deborah Rodriguez. Rodriguez's experience opening a beauty school in Afghanistan. Highly recommended by many who have read it.



Momzillas: It's a Jungle Out There, Baby! This was one of the most hilarious novels I have read since The Devil Wears Prada. Someone should write a sequel for mothers of teens....



Chez Moi by Agnes Desarthe. Short chapters make for easy concentration and starting/stopping points. French woman undoes bad past through cooking. If you like Chocolat or Like Water for Chocolate, this is for you.


It also wouldn't hurt to read or re-read the kids' summer reading novels. I have to admit one of the best finds was re-reading Ethan Frome, a novel I hated when I was in tenth grade. This summer I plan on re-reading my 9th grade nemesis, Great Expectations. Dickens and I went round and round with that one back then, but now I can give him some mad props...or something like that.
Have fun reading and don't worry about how much or what. Just do it.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Sunrise Sunset -Please!!!

I found a great blog site by a young woman named Vanessa VanPatten. Her insight can be helpful to parents and teens alike. She works with both groups to bring them closer. Vanessa writes from a not too far removed teen perspective (She's only 22) and a trained and educated parenting perspective. Her site is http://www.vanessavanpatten.com/

She writes- For parents: "Hang in there. Don't give up" . She wants parents of teens to know that their kids will "come back." Vanessa, too, went through a tumultuous time with her parents, and she remembers the pain of it. When she sees other families in the midst of a painful or dysfunctional period she knows that parents wonder if they will ever get through it...the negativity, the challenges, the bad behavior. Vanessa's not only seen it all, she's experienced it. Now, a young adult, she offers hope to parents and reinforces their efforts to listen and connect.

Another suggestions for parents is to facilitate and support your teen's relationships with other adults. "A good mentor can make a big difference to a teenager and provide adult guidance when a parent is not able to get through." She attributes some of her success to the positive mentors she had in a dance instructor and an older cousin. Think coaches, teachers, or counselors. She also suggests staying connected and communicating with other parents. There is definitely strength in numbers and less "nobody else has such an early curfew!" if all parents are on the same page.

For teenagers: "Strive for balance." If you are overly-stressed because of too many commitments or in response to high expectations, find time to take care of yourself, even if it means giving a little less effort to responsibilities. In reverse, if you are slacking and short changing yourself and your potential, get a grip and get focused. If school has you worried, identify why and find a solution. Tutors, study groups, meeting with teachers, time management...solve the problem, don't stress over it. If you are a big partier, party a little less, and be a little more responsible. If your physical or mental health is an issue, make yourself a priority. Diet, exercise, nutrition, counseling..take control and take charge of your own body. If relationships have got you bugged, change patterns and change your life. Big swings seem to be prevalent in teens lives, and learning to balance is the way to even things out.

My own observation has been that even when kids go through a rocky time, those that have good roots and a strong home life do seem to rebound back and straighten out. Functioning and contributing young adults are very successfully navigating this part of their lives - though their earlier years were rocky and unpredictable. Parents who were tearing their hair out and wringing their hands five years ago are now reaping the benefits of hanging in there and (come heck or high water) loving their headstrong teen unconditionally. Teens do grow up and many do grow out of those stages that seemed so daunting and confusing to their family. Eureka- a loving and contributing human type person miraculously reappears! That flesh of your flesh and blood of your blood returns to the fold. That familiar person you knew and loved stands before you. Behold. Your son or your daughter.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

One Last Word...

School has just ended and area seniors have graduated. Two-and-a-half months of hot fun in the summertime (to quote Sly and the Family Stone) are just beginning. I value that freedom from books and schedules and rules.

But always in the back of my mind is a plan that takes discipline and schedules and rules. A plan for how to stay afloat in the wake of a billowing wave of higher food and gas prices. Higher college tuition. Higher everything. So, even though seniors graduated last night, today they still need a plan and so do you (and so do I!).

Anu, a blogger mother, left a comment for us. Her sons are 8 and 6, and she wanted to know how to save more than they currently save for their sons' college expenses. Their current disciplined savings plan is $100 per child every month. That is a fantastic start, especially since there is still ten years until her oldest child graduates. At that rate, they will have, at current savings interest rates, somewhere over $12,000 for their oldest son - or, the cost of one year of college at today's prices.


Additionally, the family earns more than $100,000 per year. There are other saving instruments available that earn a higher return than a savings account, but I am not a financial analyst and can't give that advice with a guarantee (can anyone?). This is the surest advice to Anu and others making between $70,000 to $110,000 wanting to up the odds on paying for college:

Bad news - at your current income level - and surely that will rise significantly over the next 10 years before your oldest is in college - the tuition deduction on income taxes is almost nil and so are need-based scholarships. Unless you are willing to not buy any new clothes, turn your heat and air way down, take fewer showers or put a brick in the toilet tank, and use leftover meatloaf as the base for spaghetti sauce, I can't tell you any way to get more money out of your salary. Live on less. I can't say it enough.
There is a savings instrument called a 509 Savings Plan into which any family member can contribute and the good news is it's tax deductible without having to file the long form, but you will have to check with your state to see if it participates in the plan and if it's tax deductible.

My best advice in light of your stated income is:
*
Make your boys study every night - have a place or time specifically for studying and monitor that they are doing it and continue to do it through their teen years (that's when people relax and stop studying/monitoring), so that it is a habit.
*
Practice for the ACT and SAT (but not right now at 8!). Take it several times. It has been my students' experiences that colleges start looking at 27 - 29, but 32-33 is preferred for scholarships at prestigious schools.
*
Mold your boys into active participants in school, from course work to extracurricular activities and enrichment opportunities such as fieldtrips, summer programs, music lessons, sports teams, etc.
*
Now, when they are little, make them save half of all the money they get from birthday presents, yard work/chores/allowance. It doesn't have to be half, but there is a great story about Rockefeller (I think) who taught his children the secrets of financial independence that way. Pay yourself first, in other words, and live on less than you have. I have had so many students who have tried hard, earned good grades, been magna cum laude, only to find there is no scholarship money for the middle class, unless one has a knock-out ACT or SAT score. So, save, strive for excellence, and make sure your children understand the goal.
*
Know your own goal and continue saving.

So, school's out for the summer. Put that hectic schedule on the back burner, but keep the pot simmering on ways to advance the little ones' opportunities. As much as there is ever a guarantee, this will ensure many great summers for the rest of your lives!

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Power Of One


School's out! Summer's around the corner. Freedom. Lazy days. Loose schedules. Sleeping late. No homework. Time on your hands. Footloose and Fancy Free. Three months of your life.

Lake time. Concerts. Going to the mall. Road Trips. Getting a tan. Swimming. Playing ball. Hanging with friends. Talking on yur cellphone. June, July and August-the best months of the year.

Let's throw another idea out here. Could you consider making this summer a little more productive? Could you give some precious free time to perhaps make your world a better place? Is it possible to share your skills, your youth and enthusiasm in a worthwhile endeavor? Can you make a difference? Of course you can.

If you read the last two blogs, you will see a pattern. To claim your future, you must plan today. Doing something constructive and philanthropic is not only a good thing to do, it is a good thing for you. You learn leadership, you take responsibility, you acquire discipline. Helping out helps you think outside your box, expands your world view and exposes you to new ideas and new perspectives. A by-product is that choosing to make this summer count also adds more to your future college application than "I have a a good personality and am a people person."

Do you need some ideas? Organize a bake sale. "Share Our Strength" is tackling world hungry, one cupcake at a time. Go to http://www.strength.org/ for all the scoop. Want to help, get a tan and a workout at the same time? Contact Habitat for Humanity and help a family have a home of their own. Interested in politics? In case you haven't noticed, there is an election going on. Walk in your candidate's campaign headquarters and offer your help. Keep your ears open and learn the process. Do you love animals? Contact your local animal shelter and share the love. Thinking Green? Implement a recycling campaign, a park or river clean up or a community awareness effort that educates everyone. There is lots of info on the web and tools to get started.

Don't think it has to be you alone. Be the leader and get your team, your club or your friends involved. How about a one day Lemonade Sale at key locations that benefits a local and worthwhile charity. The charity gains the financial support and you gain all the skills needed to pull the event together. Public Relations, donations, advertising, sponsors, accountability, organization and volunteer recruitment- look what you can do!

Think about what you enjoy and incorporate it into your project. Biking, music, jogging, cooking, medicine, the outdoors, the environment, farming, fashion, children, older people, reading, writing....the list is endless. I read about a fourteen year old who regularly visited his Grandfather in a nursing home. He noticed all the residents wanted to talk to him and to share their stories. He motivated his middle school band to make regular visits to the nursing home. They brought treats and encouraged their older "friends" to talk and even recorded their stories. Later the group printed the stories and returned them as journals to the residents at the nursing home.

Have a wonderful summer "off". That's important. But "off" could just mean different. Watch a little less TV. Spend a little less time on the computer. Put the X Box down for a minute. Get off your duff and get on with your life. Identify and implement something bigger than you are. Now that's a way to spend the summer!

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Saturday, May 17, 2008

Muskogee's Teen Mayor Talks to Seniors

John Tyler Hammons, Muskogee's most prominent teenager as mayor-elect of the 37,000-person town, spoke briefly to the Class of 2008 at Muskogee High School's Senior Awards Day.

His message was short, but effective. Follow your dreams and don't wait to do it.

Everyone knows by now that just last year, with the Class of 2007, Muskogee's new mayor was sitting right where those seniors were sitting. If anyone was in a position to illustrate the importance of taking the action necessary to achieve one's goals, it's Tyler. He is truly an inspiration in his drive, intellect, and perseverance. Everyone from this year's seniors to senior citizens can learn a thing or two from this outstanding young man. Don't wait - do it.

Unfortunately, the "it" is not quite so clear for all those who were sitting there in their caps and gowns at Senior Awards Day. What that last four years had been about was revealed to many seniors only as they sat there listening to the same few names being called over and over again for the awards.

Some of the outstanding seniors had gotten to their place of achievement solely on their own, and that is so commendable, but it is nearly an anomaly. The majority, including our new mayor, had very supportive parents who were there every step of the way. One thing I observed about these kids is that they actually talk to their parents and vice versa. There is talk around the dinner table, sometimes mundane, sometimes about politics, history, music, or art. Sometimes just talk about KISS, or Earth, Wind, and Fire, Men Without Hats, or The Clash. Chrissie and I have said it many times before - it is proven by study after study - talking to one's children is the most effective way to keep them moving toward success.

We know what makes for good parenting. Tyler's point is just as releveant for effective parenting as it is for those in the Class of 2008 or for anyone wanting to provide leadership in their city, church, school, or family. Why are you waiting - just do it!

Congratulations to Muskogee High School seniors who garnered over $4 million in scholarship money!

Monday, May 19 - Senior Banquet
Wednesday and Thursday, May 21-22 - Graduation Practice
Friday, May 23 - Commencement

Good luck and congratulations to all graduating seniors in our area. Go out and have a great life!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Graduation Day

May is here and summer vacation is not far behind. High School Seniors will be graduating at the end of the month. It is an exciting time. Getting your cap and gown. Sending announcements. Senior activities, awards ceremonies, "Senior Check Out", and graduation practice. Signing yearbooks. Exchanging pictures. Finally knowing where you are going to be the next year.

My career as a Senior English teacher enabled me to share in the experience year after year. I sometimes felt like a sociologist, watching the evolution of a species. Early in the fall, the "Senior" title was intoxicating. The new status and power was long anticipated and now relished. Senior Parking lot, the "good lunch", leaving campus for concurrent enrollment or DECA and ruling the Pep Assemblies. Most Seniors were now confidently within their "groups". Those groups were the circles of friends that had been developing and repositioning in the lower grades. There was less "angst" Senior Year.

After Christmas, the atmosphere changed. College applications were due. FAFSA forms indicated eligibility for aid. GPA's became very concrete reminders of effort and opportunities. ACT scores were in for the last time. Those prepared and ready were looking forward. Those that never got it, began looking back. Effort and drive in the final semester? Those that did, were and those that didn't, really weren't. This time of year, it was a difficult job to keep either group engaged in Macbeth or Expository writing or the evaluation of logical arguments.

Spring. Senior Week finally arrived. There was the ginger- haired kid who was absolutely elated because he "passed" high school. There was the Valedictorian, headed East in the fall, who brought a small gift with a personal note that made me cry. A tattooed and pierced tough guy spontaneously picked me up and twirled me around his last day of class. A very young and unmarried Mother asked me to sign her yearbook and to pose for a picture with her, baby and all. A newly enlisted and shorn eighteen year old boy shared dreams of opportunities offered by the military. He would head off to Basic, six days after graduation.

You try as a teacher to instill a love of learning. "It's important" - you repeat again and again. You try as a teacher to expand horizons and widen the often limited vision of teens. How to get them to step out of the now and how to look toward the future. How to give them the tools to set life goals and then, zero in on how to attain them. To realize all things are possible but no things are given. You try as teacher to lead each student to a bright and promising future. The next step? You stand back and cross your fingers.

This time of year I always get nostalgic. I miss the excitement and anticipation I vicariously absorbed through my graduating students. I miss the hub-bub and energy of the last week. I miss the shared plans and destinations. I miss their youthful confidence in the future. I miss their smiles as they bounce, or run, or bop, or glide across the stage. Each gown clad graduate receives their diploma, shakes an outstretched hand and heads down the stairs- to their future-and to the rest of their life.

****Best Wishes Class of 2008****
**May All Your Dreams Come True**

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Another Tribute to Mother

Here is another tribute to mothers for Mother's Day. It's been around the email a few times, but it's worth repeating and is good reading for mothers, fathers, and children of all ages.

BEING A MOTHER...

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to
take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She
said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves
you and would love to spend some time with you.'

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit
was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years,
but the demands of my work and my three children had
made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for
dinner and a movie.

'What's wrong, aren't you well,' she asked?

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a
late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign
of bad news.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some
time with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.'
She thought about it for a moment, and then said,
'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick
her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her
house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous
about our date. She waited in the door with her coat
on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the
dress that she had worn to celebrate her last
wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an
angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go
out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said,
as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear
about our meeting.'

We went to a restaurant that, although not
elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my
arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat
down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only
read large print. Half way through the entries, I
lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at
me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I
who used to have to read the menu when you were
small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and
let me return the favor,' I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable
conversation- -nothing extraordinary but catching up
on recent events of each other's life. We talked so
much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll
go out with you again, but only if you let me invite
you.' I agreed.

'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I
got home. 'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive
heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't
have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a
copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place
mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I
paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I
could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two
plates - one for you and the other for your wife.
You will never know what that night meant for me. I
love you, son.'

At that moment, I understood the importance of
saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU' and to give our loved
ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is
more important than your family. Give them the time
they deserve, because these things cannot be put off
till 'some other time.'
eeeeeeeeee
Happy Mother's Day...Everyday!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

A Lesson in Love

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked. And God answered her "Yes, this way is hard, and you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning." But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed them, taught them how to tie their shoes and ride a bike, and reminded them to feed the dog and do their homework and brush their teeth. The sun shone on them and the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the nights came, and the storms and the path was sometimes dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her arms and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come." And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children, "a little patience and we are there." So the children climbed and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms. And with this, she gave them strength to face the world.

Year after year she showed them compassion, understanding, and hopes, but most of all...unconditional love. And when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you." The days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And the mother, when she lay down at night, looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned so much and are now passing these traits on to their children. My work is done."

A Mother is more than a memory. She is a living presence. Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she's the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick and perfume that she wore, she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well, she's your breath in the air on a cold winters day. She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow, she is your birthday morning.

Your Mother lives inside your laughter and she's crystallized in every tear drop. A mother experiences every emotion...happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger, excitement, joy, sorrow - all the while hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life. She's the place you came from, your first home, and she's the map you follow with every step you take.

author unknown

Happy Mothers Day

Friday, May 2, 2008

Paying for Student Achievement

End-of-Instruction exams (EOI) may be over, but a new round of testing is just beginning. Starting this coming week (May 5 - 16), students across the U.S. will sit for Advanced Placement Exams with the hopes of earning college credit and, in at least one place, some cold hard cash.

Wilby High School in Waterbury, Conn. has decided to offer money as a reward incentive to boost its AP program. Students who pass AP Exams will earn $100 for every test on which they make a 3, 4, or 5 (5 being the highest score). The fund for the cash incentives is supplied by a $451,113 grant from the National Math and Science Initiative.

The plan is to boost enrollment and participation in the Advanced Placement Program, an advanced studies program sponsored by the College Board (which also runs the SAT testing program) that can net students college credit. This Wilbury plan gets double rewards for students - not only can they get college credit for their passing score, they can also earn money. It's a win-win situation. Right now 112 students participate in the AP program. By paying students to participate, the school hopes to double the number of students in the program.

Sounds great, but I for one hope paying students for achievement doesn't catch on nation-wide. There are a couple of danger signs for our country evident in such attempts. First, usually the smartest and most motivated kids are directed toward AP - if we have to pay them to participate in an advanced program, we're down the tubes anyway.

The most important reason we should not pay students for their achievements, however, is that there is not enough money in the world to pay people, even youngsters who might need added incentive, for doing what is right. Paying students is a really bad precedent that can only undermine further the noble cause it is trying to promote, namely getting more students involved in their own education.

To me, a more rational way of "paying" students to participate in the AP testing program is the approach Muskogee High School has taken this year. The District has paid the exam fees, rather costly at approximately $80 each, for every AP course in which a student is enrolled. This gives students the opportunity to earn free college credit in a variety of subjects from AP English Literature to AP Chemistry. In a way, the student is being paid by being given the opportunity to take what could be $400 worth of AP Exams for free. Additionally, the student is excused from taking those courses in college, another savings of around $300+ per class.

We should ask ourselves, if we pay students for AP today, what will we pay them for tomorrow? Don't forget, these are our potential workers. If you own a business, can you forsee how much a plan like this will cost you?