The Rule of 10,000 Hours

Malcolm Gladwell's new book Outliers looks at what makes for gifted and successful people in our culture. We may not buy everything Mr. Gladwell is selling, but it certainly gives rise to thinking about those age-old questions of nature vs. nurture, multiple intelligence theory, and flow theory. For parents, these are important questions, given that our task is to develop our children, to endow them with experiences and skills which will enable them to achieve their fullest potential.

Gladwell sometimes eschews the notion of gifted education. Rather two points give us pause for consideration.

First, the rule of 10,000 hours. Gladwell says that success takes hard work. Successful people aren't just working harder than everyone else, they are working much, much harder. He points to the Beatles who logged 10,000 hours perfecting their skill by working dirt cheap in a German club before finally hitting the big time. He points to Bill Gates who had access to computer technology long before it went mainstream, and so could log in thousands of hours practicing a skill to which any foreseeable competition was denied. When mom used to say "practice makes perfect," she evidently really did know what she was talking about.

Secondly, what will make those parents out there just coasting along leaving everything to chance cringe, Gladwell says that a positive cultural heritage seems to make for a successful child. Gladwell (whose great-great-great grandmother was an African slave) dedicated the book to his Jamaican grandmother, who instilled a strong sense of how to be successful - or at least how to get out of Jamaica and get educated - into his mother. He says there is no replacement for work ethic and the most successful people have had someone who, even by the chance of history and fate, enabled them to develop that work ethic into a gift.

But one caution - success does not necessarily equate with money. A person can be very gifted at something that produces no income. He/she can practice 10,000 hours at something that has absolutely no monetary reward. But there is the chance that in the right historical circumstances, that person can translate his/her gifts into a rewarding career. I'm thinking of the London journalist, Neill McCormick, who followed just on the cusp of U2's success with his band that was every bit as good, but never achieved acclaim himself (he went to school with Bono and the rest of U2). He documents his experience in I Was Bono's Doppelganger - he finally gave up his band, but in the transformation became a well-known writer and used his experience to become a published author. Evidently, his 10,000 hours was better spent practicing his writing skills.

While Gladwell has been criticized for taking random facts and turning them into "scientific research," his premise makes sense. Hard work, putting in 10,000 hours practice, combined with visions and talent, can make for a very successful life. Help your child find flow (the point at which a person becomes so engaged in practicing a skill that he loses all track of time or sense of hunger, etc.) and then give them the space and encouragement to develop that skill. It may be transient, but through exploration and experimentation, your child will, with luck, find that one thing that tips him over into a success that will bring a rewarding and joyful life.

The Bottom Line

It may seem difficult to be positive this Thanksgiving. The world has shifted since we all sat down to turkey a year ago. Americans are making some hard choices about their lifestyles, their jobs and their futures. I am not sure how we got in this predicament, but I know that my Stock Portfolio does not determine who I am. My IRA does not sit around the dining room table with me. My 401 K does not symbolize health, or happiness, or friends or family. Thanksgiving is a good time to take a deep breath and focus on the blessings in our life. We can then address the business end with a new perspective, on another day.

Andy Rooney shares some insight on what's truly important. After we read it, maybe we could make our own "Important" list?

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I'm going to enjoy Thursday with my family.
I'm going to be grateful. And I am going to count my Blessings.

Happy Thanksgiving from Melony and Chrissie

Stay Connected

I was interested in new principal Debra Barger's Plan of Improvement for our 7th and 8th Grade Center. As reported in the Muskogee Phoenix, MPS is addressing concerns and becoming pro-active in finding solutions. I was especially encouraged by Ms. Barger's statement, " Give me two years and you will be surprised at the difference." Principal turnover in the last several years can not have made it easy to implement any ongoing strategy. Building confidence and a sense of community in a faculty takes not only leadership and great ideas. It takes time.

A concern in Cathy Spaulding's article was one Mel and I have continually discussed in this forum. The importance of parental involvement. Ms. Barger states this is a key issue in a student's lack of success in middle school. For some reason, the cupcake making, t-shirt selling, Science Fair Judging elementary Mom or Dad drops the ball when their child enters 7th grade. It is as if they have done their part for 6 years and now it is the government and school's turn.

The pre-teen years are probably the most crucial time for parents to be part of their child's education. The school is huge, hormone's are kicking in, classes are getting more difficult and these middle school kids are facing a lot of choices. Tweens are entering uncharted territory and need some help navigating through it all. Kids need to know you are interested. Kids need to see you are involved. Kids need to feel you are communicating.

Attendance is also an ongoing problem. It is pretty basic. If a child is not at school, a child cannot learn. Parental responsibilities include getting their student to class. This seems pretty simple but attendance rates in public education are horrendous. I cannot tell you how difficult it is to meet Pass Objectives when you are teaching to empty seats. If a home conveys attendance is not a priority, it sends the message that education is not important. It sends the message that "getting by" is just fine. Mediocre is all that's expected. Personal best isn't expected to be very good at all.

Parents must to be partners with teachers in their child's education. Discuss curriculum choices ahead of time. Know assignments, special projects and when quizzes and exams are scheduled. Make appointments to discuss your child's progress. Understand what each teacher expects, how they teach, how much homework they assign and what their favorite cookies are. "What, you say!" Didn't your little darling bring a little something to their teacher in elementary school? Send some brownies to say thank you for a kindness or consideration given to your son or daughter. It will be very appreciated and more importantly sends the message that you as a parent are in tune to what is happening at school.

You may be shaking your head. "My mood swinging pre-teen does not want me to be at their school. " HELLO. Who is the grown up here? I promise. Many may protest but most like to know we are around.

So call the school and see how you can volunteer. Make appointments to meet teachers, principals and counselors. Serve on committees. While you're packing up chocolate bars, stick your head in classrooms during planning periods. Working the concession stand helps sell the popcorn but also keeps you visible and viable. Chaperoning at Dry Gulch enables the district to offer the opportunity to it's students, and offers you the opportunity to observe the dynamics of your child's relationships and social skills. If you work, take your lunch hour or a sick day to work in the office or meet a teacher with concerns or questions. Then, take your child to lunch. It gives you one on one time and makes a regular day at school special.

Hats off to Principal Barger and the faculty and staff at The 7th and 8th Grade Center. These middle school years shape later success in school and in life. It is not an easy time for pre-teens and they need all the help they can get - In school yes, and most importantly, at home. Call or visit your child's school today and find out how to get in the parent pipeline. It's a Win-Win proposition.

Just an opinion. Couldn't we give The Center a name? 7th and 8th Grade Center is pretty generic. It's a little hard to have a school song or a snappy T-Shirt without a name that inspires loyalty and dedication. "Where do you go to middle school?" "Why, I go to The Center." "We're loyal to you Center. To your colors we're true Center. .....

Oklahoma Blood Institute

Muskogee High School's National Honor Society has particpated in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Oklahoma Pennies for Patients student drive for the last five years. This organization provides help for families of children with blood diseases and works in conjunction with the Oklahoma Blood Institute, the same organization sponsoring the blood drive with First Presbyterian Church on Saturday, November 22nd at Arrowhead Mall for our young friend, Jimmy Wilcoxen. Both organizations have saved countless lives and work diligently to find a cure for blood diseases.

None of these National Honor Society students ever would have thought in their wildest imaginations that their efforts at raising thousands of dollars in penny donations would eventually affect someone they knew and loved - they did it just because it was the right thing to do.

On November 22nd individuals both young and old will turn out to give blood to the OBI drive for Jimmy. Many will be his loyal friends and family, but others will not even know him. They will turn out because, even in our highly mechanized and technical modern world, community is still as important today as it was to the ancients. They will do it because Muskogee is full of wonderful people who pull together when there is a need. They will do it because it is the right thing to do.

If you are considering donating blood for Jimmy, here's how it works:

• Anyone can give blood - you don't have to match Jimmy's blood type.
• All blood given stays in Oklahoma. Jimmy is given credits in Texas for the blood donated here. These credits will help defray the cost of his transfusions while in the hospital in Houston.
• Bring your photo ID. It is mandatory to have a photo ID when donating blood.

The whole Muskogee community is pulling for Jimmy. Our thoughts, prayers and good wishes go out to him and his entire family. We love you!

You Got To Have Friends

I am sporting a new fashion statement. It is Tiffany blue rubber and says-Strength for Jimmy. Similar to the familiar Lance Armstrong yellow Live Strong bracelets, this one strikes a little closer to home. Muskogee native Jimmy Wilcoxen is undergoing chemo-therapy for Leukemia and the bracelet is one way his friends are standing by him while Jimmy goes through his treatments.

Jimmy and my two youngest children have been best buds since childhood. I answered the phone the first Sunday in October and all I could hear was sobbing. It was Catherine, shocked and terrified that a friend she considered healthy and well Saturday morning had been diagnosed with a life-threatening disease Saturday night. I asked why my Tom had not yet called and she said matter-of-factly, "why he's with Jimmy at the hospital." Tom and several other friends were camped out at the hospital in Norman, supporting Jimmy and his shocked family as they made decisions and choices as to his care.

Jimmy is now in Houston and as his Mother joyfully reported, is officially in remission. Though he has several months of rigorous treatments ahead of him, he is responding to the protocol. Jimmy is a fighter. Jimmy will be fine.

What has again been reinforced to me is how important friendships and shared histories are in each of our lives. The support that has been showered on this family cannot help but lighten the load and keep everyone optimistic. Jimmy's friends have moved his things out of his house in Norman, flown to Houston to just be with him, had these wonderful bracelets made, sent x-rated cheer up gifts and shared inside jokes with each other. They are in communication with him constantly. They have changed their pre-Christmas plans from a ski trip (since this year Jimmy won't quite be ready to go) to meeting here in Big M or Houston to all be together. They are united with the common goal of supporting their friend in any way possible. Why? Because they have always had each other's back. Because they're "tight". Because they love each other.

Encourage positive and constructive friendships in your own children. How? Offer opportunities that bring kids together and be the house where your children's friends want to be. Bake the cookies. Buy the ping pong table. Host the parties. Coach the team. Make things happen. Get to know the parents of your children's friends. Share ideas. Share experiences. Share concerns.

These kids snow-boarded, water skied, went to concerts and played tennis together. When they were younger they four-wheeled, camped out, spent the night, paint-balled, fished,hunted and just hung out. They celebrated their birthdays together. They went through puberty together. All are now in college, some at OU but all as close as phones, cars and airplanes can keep them.

These young men and women have truly grown up together. They complete each other's sentences. They know what each other is thinking. Close ties and strong friendships have prepared each of them for this detour in Jimmy's and therefore, their lives. These young adults have learned there is strength in their friendship. There is joy in their friendships. There is empathy in their friendships. There is energy in their friendships. And above all, there is life.

Share a Pint with Jimmy

OBI Blood Drive
Arrowhead Mall
Nov 22nd

Look for more details in the Muskogee Phoenix. Join others as we have the opportunity to "do something" when there has seemed so little we can do. Share a pint with Jimmy, and share your support with one of our own. See you at the mall Saturday, November 22nd.

Perspective

This was shared with me recently and I thought it was so good, I want to share it with you. Enjoy. TO ALL WHO ''SURVIVED" the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on their tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day, and we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms...... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. Mom and Dad actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

A Letter of Recommendation

Dear Sirs;
I am writing to recommend (your child's name) for your consideration. I have known (your child's name) for the last four years as (his/her) Latin teacher, as well as (his/her) JCL, Ecology Club, National Honor Society, and SADD sponsor. This close association with (your child's name) has given me an accurate assessment of (his/her) ability, character, and potential for success on the collegiate level.
(Your child's name) has been an excellent student. (He/she) has taken a college preparatory curriculum that has included such courses as AP Calculus, AP Chemistry, AP English Language and Composition, AP Literature and Composition, AP Latin Literature, and AP U.S. History. (He/she) does not merely complete the required classwork, but consistently seeks knowledge above that offered in class. (He/she) has excellent insight into the machinations and motivations of both historical and literary characters and has keen analytical skills.
In addition, (your child's name) has taken full advantage of every educational opportunity available during (his/her) high school career through participation in the Cornell University summer program in medicine and the University of Dallas three week tour of Italy. This year (your child's name) is taking concurrent enrollment at Connor's State College.
(Your child's name) is a four year member of the Oklahoma Honor Society and National Latin Honor Society, and a three year member of the National Honor Society. (He/she) was also named AP Scholar during (his/her) junior year. There is no doubt that (your child's name) is well prepared for matriculation into (OU... ok, whatever university you choose) where his intellectual potential will reach fruition.
In addition to being an excellent student, (your child's name) is also involved in several extracurricular organizations. (He/she) has served as president of the Class of (insert graduation year) during all four years of high school. (He/she) has also served as president of Junior Classical League and holds an office in the Oklahoma Junior Classical League. (Your child's name) has attended two OJCL Conventions, where (he/she) won the Academic Sweepstakes Award. (He/she) has also served as vice president of National Honor Society and secretary of the Ecology Club. (He/she) is a four year member of the varsity (whatever sport) team. I feel (your child's name) will continue to be involved in extracurricular and community activities throughout (his/her) lifetime and will make many positive contributions to (his/her) community.
Finally, (your child's name) is not only an excellent student, but an excellent person. (He/she) has been instilled with a determination far exceeding (his/her) peers. (Your child's name) lives (his/her) life with a dedication to excellence in all things, a compassion for all people, and a sense of giving back to society what has been given to (him/her). (He/she) would make an excellent addition to your student body and would represent your university very well. (He/she) is truly worthy of your consideration.


I can't tell you how many letters I have written like the one above with only slight variation, because I have been blessed to teach some truly remarkable people who are now doctors, lawyers, teachers, Nike executives, architects, professional athletes, and just plain wonderful people. Most people, parents and teens alike, never stop to think about their vested interest in the educational process until this time of year when letters of recommendation are needed for college admissions and scholarship applications. As a teacher, it is an absolutely awful feeling to be sitting at the computer stumped about what to say about a student who is desperate for a letter of recommendation, but who shied away from all but the barest of academic courses and did not challenge him/herself to participate in school activities.

I am reminded of Stephen Covey's advice to begin with the end in mind. The letter above represents the end. If you are the parent of a high school freshman or sophomore, you can begin to gently suggest that your child join school clubs and activities that pique his curiosity about new subjects or fulfill his love of already developed interests. In this way, you can mindfully help create a letter of recommendation for your child that can put him on the path to exploring, understanding and fulfilling some of his/her life goals.