Three Points To Consider

An acquaintance stopped me recently to comment on something she had read in a recent entry to Care and Feeding. We began to talk and she said, "I never dreamed how complicated raising a teenage would be. We bounced along pretty well until he turned 13. It was like a light switch, we were on as a family, now we're off. My husband and I are determined to keep our wits about us, be patient, and be consistent." Lucky boy. As he is changing and figuring out who he is, his parents will be steady and dependable. His parents will be someone he can count on.

As we have explored this journey called raising teenagers, three characteristics continue to seem relevant for successful parenting.

First, a positive relationship with your teen is essential to success. When parent-child interactions are characterized by kindness, consistency, respect, and love, the relationship will flourish. The bonus is that your child gains self-esteem, confidence, social skills and a sense of who they are and who they want to be.

Second, being genuinely interested in your teen's activities allows you to share this time together, but also to observe behavior. This is crucial in keeping teens out of trouble. When missteps do occur, (and I promise, they will) parents who have involved their children in setting family rules and consequences can expect less rebellion from their children as they calmly enforce the rules. Parents who, together with their children, set firm boundaries and high expectations may find that their teens actually want to live up to those expectations.

Third, parents who encourage independent thought and expression in their children may find that they are raising young men and women who have a healthy sense of self. This confidence gives kids a step up to resist peer pressure and to not make unhealthy decisions.

So- The Gift of Attention and Time. The Duty of Boundaries and Consequence. The Freedom of Self -Discovery. Three traits to model as parents, all under the umbrella of Unconditional Love. As you watch your sons and daughters grow in independence, make decisions, and develop into young adults, you may find that the child you have reared is, like that newborn you held for the first time, even better than you could have ever imagined. +++Chrissie