School-Days

It is almost July. When I was teaching, the 4th always signified summer was winding down and the school year was looming. As school starts earlier and earlier, that is even more the case. I never agreed with the early start, but it seems to be the trend in many communities. It is difficult because parents who both work really have to hustle to find daycare and activities in all these added "little" days off during the school year. I was always afraid that lots of children just stayed home with a TV and a Lunchable for company.

Shortening the school week, lengthening the school day, adding a program here, taking instruction time there-schools are hustling to save money and find monies in a myriad of ways. It seems most important that America's children have consistency in their school experience. Juggling and tap dancing do not a scholar make. A challenging, comprehensive educational experience that educates and empowers demands butts in the seats and teachers at the front of the class. It demands a vigorous curriculum and high expectations. Negative behavior and low performance are only reinforced by free passes and dummying down academics.

The governments focus is no longer a successful education for it's young citizens. The mantra that "all kids succeed" has backfired and the word success has a new definition. "Make it happen on paper-no matter what" has resulted in watered down objectives and excuses instead of results. Centralized public education has allowed the government to put the raising of our children in their hands, as often families seem to not be doing such a good job. The question? Is government doing such a good job either?

Many select private schools, magnet schools, charter schools or even educate at home. Often these are families who value education, instill discipline and have high expectation for their children. We need to give all our children these values and expectations. Some must be allowed to fail, so the rest begin to see the need to truly succeed. Happy 4th-May God continue to bless our country and our lives. Chrissie

A Love Letter

The clock is ticking. This time at home with your child is fleeting. Years pass in the blink of an eye. Eighteen years and they pack their car and wave goodbye. If we do our job right, they will seek their fortune and their destiny with confidence and courage. The adventure of leaving home and leaving you is just part of their journey, and ours.

We can't live every moment, dreading the inevitable-but we can train ourselves to make the most of time together. Melony and I have talked alot about making memories, making moments, making a home. A simple way of affirming your child and perhaps smoothing over a rough time could be a letter. A love letter to your teen.

Now, I don't mean all gushy and mushy. That will just turn your child off and probably embarrass them. Don't be too abstract or rhetorical. Identify specific attributes and use specifics to support your point.

An example? You face challenges head on and with courage. Algebra II was definitely a hurdle but you studied, got tutoring, worked with your teacher and gave up other activities to bring your grade up and prepare for the next year. Dad and I are so proud of you!!!

Perhaps your daughter has a summer babysitting job. I am so proud that others trust you and know how responsible you are. Mrs. Smith knows she can count on you to care for Ivy and knows Ivy is is safe and happy. I am also busting my buttons that you are earning your own money and adding it to your college fund. You are something else!!!!

Things a little dicey at your house? Even more the reason to write an affirming note. Glad we had that meeting of the minds last night. Though we may not agree on a few house rules, I know we agree that we love each other and will both strive to come up with a workable solution. I miss that beautiful smile at the dinner table. Let's talk.

You're the parent. Who better knows all the good things about your teen. Hey, you've got bragging rights! Write a little something or write a lot. Then, pass it on. chrissie

Better Safe Than Sorry

I had the opportunity to take a CPR (Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation) refresher course. I was horrified that the last time I had taken CPR was at least 26 years ago. Luckily, no situation has required I remember the emergency procedures. Procedures, I might add, that were learned at a building that no longer exists and a method that no longer is recommended by the Red Cross. The last time I took CPR, we all took turns giving mouth to mouth on our dummies with no thought to the infamous "body fluids". My how times have changed.

The practice dolls are the same but one now uses a plastic shield that is between the dummy's mouth and the student's. It is advised to carry one on your key chain should a CPR emergency arise. Those around me all agreed locating the protective shield would probably not be first on our To-Do list if someone was not breathing and turning blue. Our instructor did reiterate that communicable diseases are rarely transmitted through saliva but the shield was recommended if time permitted.

The smallest doll was sobering. Not that I wasn't concerned when my own children were small, but somehow imagining my grandchildren in an emergency situation was terrifying. All of a sudden swimming pools, dinnertime and electrical appliances became objects of concern. Learning the methods for both Infant CPR and Infant Choking was a good thing. Reviewing all the Red Cross Emergency procedures is an even better thing.

What follows is a very brief overview of emergency procedures. It is not a substitute for training by a certified Red Cross CPR instructor. Body positions, methods and location and applications are best learned visually. A CPR class at your local Red Cross would be a great use of vacation time for you and your teen. Just like smoke alarms, CPR is something you hope you will never use but always be glad you have.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
1. CHECK
CHECK THE SCENE FOR SAFETY , then
CHECK THE PERSON FOR CONSCIOUSNESS
Get permission to give care
Tap shoulder and shout, "Are you okay?"

2. CALL
IF NO RESPONSE, CALL 911 or have someone else call
IF YOU ARE ALONE AND CARING FOR AN INFANT OR CHILD-
And you witnessed the child suddenly collapse CALL 911
If you did not see the child or infant suddenly collapse, give 2 minutes of CARE and then
call 911.

3. CARE
OPEN THE AIRWAY (tilt the head back and lift the chin)
CHECK FOR SIGNS OF LIFE (movement and breathing) for no
more than 10 seconds
IF NO BREATHING, give 2 rescue breaths and begin CPR
IF BREATHING NORMALLY, roll onto one side while waiting for help to arrive.

IF NO SIGNS OF LIFE, GIVE CPR

INFANT CPR
Give cycles of 30 chest compressions and 2 rescue breaths -

ADULT AND CHILD CPR
Give cycles of 30 chest compressions and 2 rescue breaths

CONTINUE CPR UNTIL
Scene becomes unsafe
You find an obvious sign of life
AED is ready to use
You are too exhausted to continue
Trained responder arrives and takes over

CHOKING
IF coughing, encourage person to continue coughing
Send someone to call 911
Get permission to give care

INFANT
If infant cannot cough, cry or breathe
Putting infant face down toward your knee, supporting with arm, give 5 back blows
If the object is not thrust out, turn infant, supporting head with hand and back with arm-
give 5 chest thrusts, using two fingers.

ADULT AND CHILD CHOKING
IF adult or child cannot talk, cough or breathe-
Bend victim over at waist, give 5 back blows
If the object is not forced out, give 5 quick, upward abdominal thrusts
Continue sets of back blows and chest or abdominal thrusts until-
*object is forced out
*Person can breathe or cough forcefully
*Person becomes unconscious. Perform CPR. Between giving 30 compressions and 2 breaths, look for an object and and remove if one is seen.

Note: The universal sign for choking is both hands around the throat, palms open.

American Red Cross first aid, CPR and AED training can give you the skills and confidence to act in an emergency. Call your local chapter or go to www.redcross.org for more information. chrissie

The Place of Fine Arts in the High School Curriculum

Over the last decade the fine arts have gradually taken a backseat to core classes. NCLB has focused everyone's attention on student achievement in the basics, leaving little concern for elective classes. Especially in times of budget constraints, there is no money to enrich elective classes, the teachers of which are left to fundraise or pay out of their own pocket for supplies and activities.

Is there a call for concern over this state of fine arts affairs? IMHO, yes. America is supposed to be a place where schools are the equalizer. Students who do not have access to private music, dance, art, foreign language, and drama lessons can obtain those in the public school system. These are the courses that attract and keep many students in school. Without them, lower income students miss out on opportunities that inspire creativity, cultivate the mind, and develop a more sophisticated world view.

For an example of a school that does the arts right, look at Adlai Stevenson High School, a model school on many fronts. Check out two pages on their website, one an introductory page to Fine Arts, the other a page about Odyssey, a school-wide fine arts festival at which nationally-known performers appear.

http://www.d125.org/arts/default.aspx

http://www.d125.org/odyssey/default.aspx

You will notice that the arts do not function in isolation at the school, but play a integral role in the development of the individual student, providing rigor on the university level and problem-solving skills applicable in all academic areas. The arts are not just frills in the school budget. They are academic experiences that broaden our thinking, connect core knowledge to the real world, and provide skills that can serve a person in all areas of life for the duration of that person's life.

Think of all the great times you had in high school. I'll bet many of them revolve around those fine arts classes - music, drama, art, foreign language, or projects in core classes expressed through the arts. A really ourstanding arts programs can be a life-changing force, no matter what a person's socio-economic standing. Americans should value the place of the arts in our innovative thinking. To quote Einstein:

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. (Albert Einstein)

Treat Her Like A Lady

This e-letter came to me yesterday. It is from Mike Bradley Ed.D- adolescent psychologist and frequent television consultant. I like him and appreciate his common sense approach to raising teens. This newsletter stopped me in my tracks. I have included the complete message, it's lengthy but how could I have eliminated any of the following?

For a minute I thought he was making this up, but as an adolescent psychologist I guess I should know have known better. Zach was laughing loudly as he described the wonderful dance for high school kids he had recently attended at the local community center. He especially loved the theme: CEO's and Corporate Ho's: "The boys all dressed like corporate leaders, you know, like bosses, and the girls all dressed like, you know, 'ho's' (whores). It was FANTASTIC," he raved. "The girls, they were all like, willing to really be ho's---you know what I mean? Not all of them, but a whole lot were. Even girls that would never do that stuff normally were, you know, doing that stuff that night. They were all into it. It was GREAT!"

I was stunned for a moment, not quite knowing where to go with this. Before me sat this great 16-year-old young man. A caring, intelligent, sensitive and hard-working kid who had just participated in the equivalent of a white supremacist rally, held at our local community center no less. Think not? Think again.

There is a secret war raging in this nation of ours, but it's not religious, racial or political---it's sexual. Our daughters are under attack, being programmed, abused, and raped in astounding numbers. Last year 20% of our daughters in high school were sexually assaulted. In our universities, every fifth coed was raped. Perhaps even more stunning in this supposed age of equality, 93% of these wounded women said nothing. Only 7% decided that what had happened to them was a crime of violence that required reporting to the police. Many felt too ashamed to report, believing that it was their fault ("I had too much to drink" and "I guess I was leading him on"). Others thought they wouldn't be believed. And a frightening number of them did not understand that they had been raped.

In my office too many of those young women have talked out this profound act of denial. Or perhaps this profound effect of cultural programming which teaches them to be sexual second-class citizens, creatures clearly worth less than the boys. "Did you say 'no' to the guy who forced you?" I asked one confused coed. "I said no over and over," she answered. "Actually," she softly cried, "I was sobbing and begging 'please,no; please, no', but he pinned me down and..." After she calmed a bit, I softly asked, "Can I ask why you didn't report it?" This smart, 20-year-old, post-feminist female locked eyes with me and asked, "Report what?" And before I could answer she added,"Isn't that just the way it's supposed to be sometimes? I mean, he didn't stab me or anything."

As I sat there looking into her pained, confused and tear-stained face, all the female-degrading lyrics, videos, phrases and jokes (been bitch-slapped recently?) of this culture seemed to suddenly swirl behind her head. I could hear the echoes of all her sexual programming resonating around her, now having led her to this bizarre place, a schizophrenic world where she could compete nose-to-nose with the most talented males by day, and then be brutalized by them at night---and never think that something was wrong: "Isn't that just the way it's supposed to be sometimes?"

If you don't like scary novels, don't read the report I'm about to cite. But if you've got a daughter or a son, you really must read the Report of the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls (available online at www.apa.org/pi/wpo/sexualization.html). When you're done I suspect you'll suddenly begin hear the battle sounds raging around our daughters, and better understand how so many of our girls get taught to submit to sexual abuse like POW's.

What can we parents do to fight back? Talk with your kids, but use questions, not lectures. Watch their terrible shows and listen to their terrible music with them, and then quietly ask things such as, "Do you think these females are being portrayed as 2nd class citizens?" and "When a guy forces sex, is that about love or violence?" Dad, take your daughter out for a coffee and have a stumbling, stammering chat about what goes off in a teen boy's brain when he sees a girl dressed provocatively: "Honey, as an ex-14-year-old boy, I have to tell you that when they look at you dressed like that they are NOT thinking about love relationships.

"Mom, get a latte with your boy and ask him a question you don't want answered: "Son, in today's twisted world, girls are being told by their culture to have casual 'party' sex, and I know that some will approach you saying that all they want is sex. As a female I can tell you that girls are just not wired that way, regardless of what they say. And later on, they feel lousy about what they're doing, to a point where many of them become depressed, anxious, and even suicidal. Here's my question that I want you to not answer, but to please consider: 'Are you willing to hurt a girl just to have some sex?' Thanks for listening."

The key is not to have one marathon talk, but to have a thousand mini-talks with short questions designed to get our boys and girls to think, not long-winded answers that sound like morality lectures. Slowly help them to build their belief systems about what sex should really be about, and to value themselves accordingly. Give them a fighting chance in this scary, secret war.

To subscribe to Dr Bradley's newsletter or see his website- go to http://www.docmikebradley.com/

This is sobering but certainly something to consider regarding our children and their choices. chrissie

Ree Drummond-Oklahoma Girl

Hope everyone had a grand Memorial Day. Our weather here in Oklahoma was hot and sunny so all my brood were burnt, tired and happy. This Memorial Day, I don't want to forget our veterans and our soldiers who serve now to keep us safe and free. Thank you for your sacrifice. God Bless.

I found a new website and a new Oklahoman I want to introduce you to. I may be the last woman on the planet who has found Ree Drummond-Pioneer Woman. She cooks comfort food for families and breaks down the steps so simply, even non-cooks can follow her instructions. First, let me share her story.

Ree decided in 2006 to use some of her downtime and take up blogging. She liked to share recipes as well as photographs that she takes of her family, friends, and life on her family's ranch. Ree shares life on the Drummond Ranch with her husband (whom she calls the Marlboro Man) and four children. Her blog, Pioneer Woman, has become an award winning and popular blog. Her site is a wonderful way to spend an hour or two. Recipes. Photographs. Stories. Home School information. She's funny. She's clever. She's creative. She lives outside Pawhuska for heaven's sake!

Ree cooks like most families eat. (Or would like to eat.) Cinnamon Rolls. Breakfast Burritos. Killer Mac and Cheese. Perfect Pot Roast. Comfort Meatballs. Oatmeal Crispie Cookies. This would be a great cookbook to give a new bride or college graduate setting up house for the first time. Be sure and check her blog-http://thepioneerwoman.com/. It is a beautiful site and you'll find yourself serving your own family blackberries in rich cream served in blue speckled crockery. You'll be taking photographs of your own beautiful children in dappled sunlight, freckles and all. You'll nickname your own husband something endearing and perhaps see your marriage in an all new light. Enjoy! Chrissie