Be a Good Sport

It’s easy to get caught up in your teen’s sports. You’re invested in it, both time and money. For all the times you carted him to the soccer field, for the thousands of dollars you've invested in her gymnastics career, for the friends you’ve made at volleyball games…. It’s all good. Athletics bring so much to your child’s life. Team sports teach many important skills, and the increased self esteem for a talented athlete may even trump the value in the exercise. It's all good, that is, until things get out of perspective. Parents must be the good guides here; you are the most important person when it comes to giving good sports guidance to your teenager.

Competitive athletics is grueling. Take gymnastics. Your daughter loves the sport. Time goes on, and by the time she is in high school she is competing in the state competitions. Trouble is, her knees are in terrible shape and she constantly fights shin splints. Stress fractures put her on crutches more than once and today, as a 22 year old, she experiences pain frequently. One could argue her parents should have redirected her to another sport that wasn't so body-beating. Can a child be expected to have the objective vision to know such a thing? Probably not; this is a parent's call.

Your son always played football. He is big, athletic, and football is part of his identity. When he went to college, football was what he concentrated on. Trouble was, he got very little play time in his competitive school, so he transferred to another school where he could play more. His focus is not on his degree, it is football. One needs to consider college sports carefully; how important are they? Is this really what one goes to college for? Could your child be making poor decisions about college because of a misdirected focus on football. Is he is playing football to go to college or going to college to play football?

A daughter lives and breathes tennis. Your family's social life revolves around the activity. It is fun for all of you. It's the focus of all the family. Unfortunately, your all-star enters puberty, and her interest wanes. She makes the freshman team, but is cut from JV as a sophomore. As her mother, you are devastated and have to completely regroup socially. You now realize how much you have come to depend on tennis for many social connections. Your daughter feels guilty that she had "let the family down."

Parents are the ones here who need to be good guides for teens when it comes to athletics. It’s usually not positive for your child to be overly focused in just one area. Few high school athletes play competitive sports in college, and those scholarships are a mixed blessing. Why? Because commitment to a college sport so dramatically alters one's college experience.

Your teens need to count on you to give them good, realistic, informed counsel, and help them make the best long-range decisions when it comes to athletics. Some of this guidance may come hard, but your teen relies on you for exactly this advice. Sports should be part of our children's experience, not the sum total of it. Well-rounded seems a good word for what we want for our kids. As a side- OU- Beat Texas!!!!! chrissie