A Ham Story

Not everyone has had a chance to take a class with Dr. Lashley at NSU. He has a great course in the education department that everyone should be required to take. In it he describes the influence that one's parents can have on one's world view. I use much of his teachings in my classroom, as everyone there, even though still a teenager, is a potential parent him/herself who can benefit from thinking about why we do what we do and think what we think.

Hence, the ham story. It was a holiday. A young woman was going to prepare a ham for the family dinner. Her mother and father had come for this holiday, too, the first at her own house. As the young lady began to prepare the ham for cooking, she cut off the ends of the ham. Her mom asked her why she cut off the perfectly good ends of the ham. The daughter said, "Because that's what you always did." The mother laughed and said, "Yes, but my pan was not as big as yours."

Even though they seem like they are not paying attention, our teenagers have been observing us. Our unexplained actions can be misinterpreted by our teenagers. It is so important to keep the lines of communication open with our teenagers and explain why we do what we do or think what we think.

This is especially true of young teens between the ages of 11 and 16. Many brain studies have shown that they cannot interpret our facial expressions correctly because they are thinking with the amygdala and not the frontal lobes. If you are anxious, they think you are mad. If you are befuddled, they think you are mad. If you are sad, they think you are mad. If you are afraid, they think you are mad.

This is why explaining yourself is so important. Miscommunication can make for more than just some lost ham parts. It can build a wall of misinterpretation between you and your child that provokes an unnecessary fight. And, once they know you are fearful because they didn't call when the movie ran over, and that's why you really are now mad, they can take being grounded much better!

As far as ham, I am kinda hammed out after the holidays. What about a Yankee Sandwich served on hamburger buns? Throw in some chips and this is a simple dinner that teenagers love.

Helen Corbitt's Yankee Sandwich
1 lb. hot dogs, sliced
1 large can baked beans
1/4 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup chili sauce
Mix all ingredients in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 15 minutes. Serve on hamburger buns.