Significant Others in Your Teen's Life

The New Year and the new school semester are both almost here. If you have never thought about it before, this is the time to pause and reflect about the influence others are beginning to have on your teen's decisions. Maybe you have noticed it already: your teen scoffs at your opinions, doesn't believe you know what you are talking about, and flaunts some statistic from the Internet as justification for his opinion. You are not the center of his universe anymore.

During the early teen years, as it should be, your child moves from internal, family-driven influences to external, world-driven views. It's common enough to think of millionaire movie stars, rappers, and athletes as influencing your child's clothing, musical preferences, body piercings and tattoos, because they do.

But, closer to home are two important groups with whom your teenager has daily interaction: friends and teachers. During most of the year, these are the two sets of people your teen sees more than he/she sees you everyday. All of us have tried to control the friends our kids hang out with, but have you ever thought of the importance of the teachers with whom your teenager interacts everyday?

I ask this because of a Duke University study which highlights the importance of the teen years in the development of adult thought patterns. According to research, addictive behaviors originate in the teen brain, but so do other innocuous but illogical and incorrect modes of thought which take years to correct, leaving the adult individual vulnerable to repeatedly making the same mistakes.

Friends are the same age as your teen, and so, probably do not have any better thought processes than your own child possesses. Therefore, contact with a caring adult who can provide a welcoming environment in which to explore and correct opinions is so essential to your child's intellectual growth. Additionally, all the studies show that students who participate in extracurricular activities led by enthused adults are more likely to complete their high school education.

No one can take your place, but someone is going to, at least temporarily. Investigating the right teachers and classes with which to place your teen at school could pay big dividends in the long run. It's something to think about for the New Year. And try Chrissie's blackeyed peas and relish for some of that luck we can all use in 2007!