Daddy, Do I Look Fat?

I would like to add an aspect to Father's Day issues addressed in Chrissie's last blog, namely the influence a father exerts on his daughter's healthy psychological development. In the last two decades research has indicated that a father's unconditional regard for his daughter affects her self-esteem and ability to find a stable relationship, whereas a mother's opinion has only a marginal affect. Dads, therefore, should reinforce to their daughters that they are bright and beautiful young women.

Numerous studies have proven this theory time and again. It has also been shown that men are affected by unconditional acceptance from their fathers, too. Fathers should be careful to accentuate the positive in their relationships with their children, both the boys and the girls.

Why would fathers be a key factor in the development of their daughters' (and sons') self-esteem? Mothers give unconditional love. It is almost always a given, a sure thing. A father's love, however, has to be earned, and so has a merit or weight to it that gives veracity to a child's developing ego.

How a man treats his wife in front of the children also has a bearing on a young woman's self-worth. It has been shown that if a man outwardly illustrates that he values women, his daughter's self esteem correlates positively, even if the mother is a strong role model who also has a successful career outside of the home.

Statistics improve drastically for girls who have this positive affirmation of unconditional love from their fathers. Chance of drug usage and engaging in dangerous behaviors goes way down for girls who have this positive relationship with their fathers.

So what is a dad to do? You don't have to go overboard with the compliments. Insincerity is easily detected by the young. It is important to go to your daughter's sporting events as much as your son's. Tell your daughter she is pretty, smart, or comment on other positive attributes. Take her shopping or do other things she likes to do. Value her opinions and include her in your conversations.

And if she asks, "Daddy, do I look fat," don't hesitate, not even for a minute.

Happy Father's Day to all you great dads out there. You have a tremendously important job to do and society often does not give you the credit you deserve!