If You're A Dad.........

Father's Day is Sunday. As Bill Cosby says, " Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap- on- a- rope." Be prepared to ooh and ahh over bad ties, books you will never read and yet another set of Bar-B-Que tools.

You men are just hard to buy for. A popular bumper sticker is, "the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys." A Transformer or Spiderman Web Thrower is do-able, an Arctic Cat or new Bass boat is usually not. As you open the Father's Day presents this year, look at the real gifts, grinning back at you. The smiling faces of your children.

Dad means a lot of different things today. Have you ever thought about what Father means at your house? Good Dad is active, participating, encouraging and involved. Passive, sidelined, negative and pre-occupied is Bad Dad. These little people called children are like sponges. The learn what they live. Fathers are 1/2 the factor that determines the men and women our children will become. Kind of sobering isn't it?

Let me turn this gift thing around. How about this Father's Day, you re-evaluate the Dad you are. After some introspection, if all things seem copacetic, good for you. If little alarm bells are going off, good for you too. Identifying potential Bad Dad baggage is half the battle. The beauty is, your children love you so much, they are ready, willing and able to let you re-program.

The first gift to give our children is a Father and Mother who love and respect each other. This is a unified couple that kids know they can depend on and who model a good marriage. A good marriage takes work and commitment. A good marriage is not a perfect marriage, but through good and bad times, children see their parents work things out, together.

Other important gifts we give our kids are a moral compass and a good work ethic. A strong and unwavering belief system of right and wrong is imperative in a family. How we "do things" and how we contribute as human beings should be assimilated as children grow and mature. Also, to succeed and live abundantly requires discipline and hard work. Children should know all things are not given, whether it be material possessions, success in school or respect from the world who watches us.

Maybe the hardest one of all is the gift of time. Dinner at the table. Conversation over a carburetor. Dad taking his 13 year old daughter to the mall for a shopping trip. Television's off. Game Boards out. Less golf on Saturday. More family time, doing what you mutually enjoy, together. Give Mom a night off and Dad and kids cook dinner. Plan road trips. Build a fort or a playhouse together. Splurge on tickets to anything you and (or) your children love- George Strait, a Muscle Car Show, a Daddy and Me Dance, a traveling Broadway musical, a museum exhibit....broaden their vision of the world and at the same time, they will always associate the experience with you.

Teach faith. Live healthy. Speak kindly. Give generously. Model success. Speak the truth. Love unconditionally. Encourage and exhort. Laugh often. Discipline fairly. Be consistent. Be trustworthy. Sacrifice. Be open. Keep growing. Listen.....and keep learning

Freud said he could not think of anything in childhood as strong as the need to feel protected by one's Father. If you are a Father, take the time to tell your children you love them. Tell them why you are proud of who they are and what they are becoming. Plan something to do together. Your child needs to hear and believe in all the world, they are your #1 priority. Of course they are, but sometimes, as living gets so complicated, it's easy to forget.