Do you sometimes feel like you are competing for your child's attention? Are you in competition with their friends, the media, the Internet, technology? Does your teen mumble something ineligible as he heads to his bedroom and closes the door? Is her daily life an unknown to you, her thoughts and feelings a mystery? Do you find yourself frustrated and concerned? Are you shaking your fist at the closed door and mentally thinking, "I want my child back!"
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is a new favorite of mine. He's on TLC (Shalom in the Home) and also Oprah's station on Sirius. My daughter introduced me to Shmuley's radio show and I am impressed by his common sense advise and mission to strengthen American families. On the subject of staying connected with our kids, he makes a great analogy. Parenting teens is like being a counselor at summer camp.
Shmuley explains; As a camp counselor, I kept my cabin out of trouble by keeping them occupied. I had to come up with wholesome activities so that the kids were never listless. The Talmud says that idleness breeds sinfulness; that when you have nothing to do, you do what you ought not to do. (Amen Rabbi!) I quickly discovered that it was only when my campers were bored that they were itching to raid the cabin next door in the middle of the night. But if I told them great nighttime stories, they lost all desire to fill the other campers' hair with toothpaste.
During the day I offered my campers sports and swimming, and at lunch and dinner they didn't just eat, they competed against each other in trivia and history quizzes. Throughout, my goal was to provide a healthy and engaging outlet that could channel the children's limitless energy.
Shmuley uses the same approach in parenting. (He has 8 children) Is the principal role of parenting a parent-as-nurturer, responsible for giving love and confidence; or parent -as- disciplinarian, responsible for instilling values and restraint?
He contends that both roles are subsumed under the rubric of the parent-as-camp-counselor, responsible for curbing a child's excesses through a respect for authority, but offering engaging activities to channel the child toward productive and purposeful goals. Shmuley believes in being a tough disciplinarian, but also recognizes that imposing restrictions without offering fun alternatives to errant behavior is unjust, as well as self-defeating, and is the key reason for child rebellion.
Another interesting insight is that too great an emphasis on friends is ultimately detrimental to a child's connection with siblings and parents. Shmuley states, "I have witnessed far too many examples of children's frenzied attachment to friends leading to a decentralized and dysfunctional family. Likewise, friendships open children to values and behavior that may be inimical to a parent's standards. But I recognize that I cannot curb my children's dependency on friendship without offering them a better alternative myself. I can only restrict them from hanging out with friends if I think that hanging out with me is going to be more exciting."
Isn't this a great point? We cannot change something our teen is doing without offering something better. A positive and stimulating choice rather than an ultimatum.
Rabbi Shmuley describes himself as being largely illiterate in the cultural arts. "Rather, in the realm of activity I have sought to hand down to my children is an appreciation for three virtues which, if absorbed, would ensure that they are never bored.The first is a love for reading. The second a love for history. And the third is a love for nature and the great outdoors."
The lesson here is for each of us to identify family passions. Identify family interests. Find a new dream shared by you and yours. Offer opportunities and time well spent to our family. Always wanted to rock climb? Sky Dive? Try Community Theatre? Noodle catfish? Paint? Travel? Race dirt bikes? Rodeo? Raise alpacas? Bird Watch? Camp Out? Pan for gold?
Shmuley continues, "Once upon a time, children were filled with energy. Today, they seem almost lifeless. Go to any home and look closely at the teenage kids. You'll see that what they most want to do is to be left alone and head back to their rooms so that they can watch TV, get online or listen to music.
"Our children are divorced from nature, the source of life, and the artifice is snuffing the life out of them. Almost everything about growing up these days, from video games to iPods to hanging out at the malls, is artificial and unnatural. Kids today have lost an appreciation for the serenity of a clear blue lake and the power of a flowing, whitewater river. They would rather go to a film than a mountain range, and would rather be in a mosh pit at a concert than a boat in an August sea."
Shmuley argues that America's youth need to be redirected and that redirection should be orchestrated by their parents. We need to offer opportunities. We need to offer adventures. We need to offer challenges. It's simple. Our children need activities and interests that help them "be all they can be" oh, and as a parent, "be all - with me!" Shalom.
6666666666666666666666666
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
The Bridge Builder
Here's a poem for everyone who deals with young people, lest we forget...
The Bridge Builder
An old man, going a lone highway,
Came, at the evening, cold and gray,
To a chasm, vast, and deep, and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The sullen stream had no fears for him;
But he turned, when safe on the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.
"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim, near,
"You are wasting strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again must pass this way;
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide-
Why build you a bridge at the eventide?"
The builder lifted his old gray head:
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today,
A youth, whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm, that has been naught to me,
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him."
by Will Allen Dromgoole
Everyone who comes into contact with young people throughout the day is a bridge builder. We all have some information to pass along, something to teach, some way to make life a little less treacherous for a younger person coming up behind us.
How does this poem help you deal with your teenager who refuses to come home on time or turn in any math assignments? Just keep the poem in mind when you start to lose your own focus as to why someone needs to know how to solve for x or why they take so many grades in math class, anyway. Make all your judgements with the poem in mind, because whatever you do - if you do or don't make your child do his math, do or don't make him come home on time - that's the kind and quality of bridge you are building.
You would hate for your child to get out on the superhighway of life and find out he's hanging by a rope bridge, wouldn't you?
Just something to think about.
The Bridge Builder
An old man, going a lone highway,
Came, at the evening, cold and gray,
To a chasm, vast, and deep, and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The sullen stream had no fears for him;
But he turned, when safe on the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.
"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim, near,
"You are wasting strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again must pass this way;
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide-
Why build you a bridge at the eventide?"
The builder lifted his old gray head:
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today,
A youth, whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm, that has been naught to me,
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him."
by Will Allen Dromgoole
Everyone who comes into contact with young people throughout the day is a bridge builder. We all have some information to pass along, something to teach, some way to make life a little less treacherous for a younger person coming up behind us.
How does this poem help you deal with your teenager who refuses to come home on time or turn in any math assignments? Just keep the poem in mind when you start to lose your own focus as to why someone needs to know how to solve for x or why they take so many grades in math class, anyway. Make all your judgements with the poem in mind, because whatever you do - if you do or don't make your child do his math, do or don't make him come home on time - that's the kind and quality of bridge you are building.
You would hate for your child to get out on the superhighway of life and find out he's hanging by a rope bridge, wouldn't you?
Just something to think about.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
If We Could Just Read Their Minds!
Do you have that scratchy feeling that your teenage son or daughter is bothered by something? Are you wondering why he or she spends so much time alone? Is your teen avoiding family functions and generally acting withdrawn and disinterested in things that once were a source of pride and joy? Your teen may at risk, and it is important to get to the bottom of it.
Glenda Hatchett knows all about troubled teens. On her nationally syndicated show, "Judge Hatchett," she's often instituting her trademark "intervention" sentences to the at-risk youth who end up in her court. These sentences are to help the youth in her court understand the implications of their actions and learn how to better handle problems or situations.
Hatchett says that there are warning signs that a parent can look out for to tell whether or not their teen is heading in the wrong direction, with the end result being juvenile court or a worse situation later in life.
One of the most perplexing issues a parent faces is how to determine if their child is at risk for such behaviors as drug/alcohol abuse, school failure, violence, depression, self-destructive behavior or suicide. What follows are warning signs Hatchett has recognized as a judge.
Q. What defines a troubled teen and when does a parent need to step in to help or seep professional intervention?
Parents should not compare your child's behavior to anyone else's, not even another one of your children's. Each child is unique and the signs may be very subtle and inconsistent. If you believe your child is at risk, then respond. Don’t wish you had done something sooner - believing it was simply a phase and that they would outgrow the problem.
Q. How do you know the difference between a troubled teen and a teen who's just going through adolescence?
A. You have to look at all of the pieces, not just one in isolation. For example, a child who's sleeping a lot may need more rest and also may be an adolescent. But if they are sleeping, have depression, and are disrespectful or lie, then it may be something more. Moodiness by itself may not be a red flag, but severe mood swings may be something you have to pay attention to.
Q. At what age would you expect to see a behavioral change in your teen?
A. It's a given that we'll see change during adolescence. It's a difficult passage, moving from being a child to becoming a young adult. It's a period of time that requires a great deal of patience and attention. There is not a magic age.. It seems like 6th, 7th and 8th grade is where a kid's behavior is changing. Each child is different and unique.
Q. When should you seek professional help?
A. If your child is not responding to whatever methods you're using to intervene, you should seek professional help. Instantly you should seek help if the child is saying suicide. Seek outside help if the child is not responding to you or family members who are trying to reach out to help them. If things are not getting better, the worst thing you could do is postpone it. You have to follow your gut and not abandon the issue.
Signs Your Teen May Be in Trouble
1. Abandoning friends for new, questionable peers. You child has had the same set of friends since 3rd grade. They played soccer, swam together and danced together. Suddenly she dumps them and starts going out with friends that you know nothing about. As a parent you have got to know who your kids are with. You have to know who her friends are and what their influences are in her life.
2. Sudden drop in school performance. That's a huge SOS. We're not talking about a case of a math whiz struggling with English. Be concerned with a child who has been consistent and now grades have dropped. It's time to figure out why this is happening. Is it depression? Could it be drug abuse? Could it be that they're being bullied? When a great kid becomes detached, it raises a red flag. If the child becomes truant (truancy is the No. 1 predictor that a boy will have a criminal record and the No. 2 predictor for girls, according to the U.S. Department of Justice); has lost interest in his or her positive activities; has abandoned goals; lacks motivation; is very apathetic -these are all red flags.
3. Extreme mood swings. That's where it gets complicated ... but it's also another huge red flag. With hormonal changes and body chemistry, kids are going through a lot. You can expect mood swings... but if your kid is going from being deeply depressed to extremely happy, and back again; you need to figure out what is going on. Sleeping patterns are very important, too. If they're not sleeping or they're sleeping all the time - from one extreme to another, you may have a problem.
Extreme moodiness. Aren't they all moody? Yes, but this teen has unreasonable fits of anger; is very disrespectful; exhibits hostility toward family members; is very withdrawn and barely communicative, and wants to be left all alone most of the time.
4. Lies about whereabouts. Another big one: You think he's at soccer practice, but he's over at someone's house without supervision. You think she's spending the night with a person she knows well, and instead she's at an acquaintance's house. You have to find out why they are lying. Other signs are that they frequently miss curfew; or disappear without explanation.
5. Mysterious financial changes. The child either has lots of unexplained money at one time and doesn't at other times. Perhaps there are problems like stealing from family or you can't account for the stuff they are buying. Unexplained valuables, jewelry or other things appear. She got an MP3 player for her birthday and now doesn't have it anymore, if it's lost, that's one thing. If you continually see things missing and there's no reasonable explanation, plus they're withdrawn, there may be a problem.
One of the most perplexing issues a parent faces is how to determine if their child is at risk. What is normal and what is not? As a parent, if that radar is going off, listen to the warning. Follow close, be the boss and let your child know you're there. It is an important way to let your teen know you love them.
Glenda Hatchett knows all about troubled teens. On her nationally syndicated show, "Judge Hatchett," she's often instituting her trademark "intervention" sentences to the at-risk youth who end up in her court. These sentences are to help the youth in her court understand the implications of their actions and learn how to better handle problems or situations.
Hatchett says that there are warning signs that a parent can look out for to tell whether or not their teen is heading in the wrong direction, with the end result being juvenile court or a worse situation later in life.
One of the most perplexing issues a parent faces is how to determine if their child is at risk for such behaviors as drug/alcohol abuse, school failure, violence, depression, self-destructive behavior or suicide. What follows are warning signs Hatchett has recognized as a judge.
Q. What defines a troubled teen and when does a parent need to step in to help or seep professional intervention?
Parents should not compare your child's behavior to anyone else's, not even another one of your children's. Each child is unique and the signs may be very subtle and inconsistent. If you believe your child is at risk, then respond. Don’t wish you had done something sooner - believing it was simply a phase and that they would outgrow the problem.
Q. How do you know the difference between a troubled teen and a teen who's just going through adolescence?
A. You have to look at all of the pieces, not just one in isolation. For example, a child who's sleeping a lot may need more rest and also may be an adolescent. But if they are sleeping, have depression, and are disrespectful or lie, then it may be something more. Moodiness by itself may not be a red flag, but severe mood swings may be something you have to pay attention to.
Q. At what age would you expect to see a behavioral change in your teen?
A. It's a given that we'll see change during adolescence. It's a difficult passage, moving from being a child to becoming a young adult. It's a period of time that requires a great deal of patience and attention. There is not a magic age.. It seems like 6th, 7th and 8th grade is where a kid's behavior is changing. Each child is different and unique.
Q. When should you seek professional help?
A. If your child is not responding to whatever methods you're using to intervene, you should seek professional help. Instantly you should seek help if the child is saying suicide. Seek outside help if the child is not responding to you or family members who are trying to reach out to help them. If things are not getting better, the worst thing you could do is postpone it. You have to follow your gut and not abandon the issue.
Signs Your Teen May Be in Trouble
1. Abandoning friends for new, questionable peers. You child has had the same set of friends since 3rd grade. They played soccer, swam together and danced together. Suddenly she dumps them and starts going out with friends that you know nothing about. As a parent you have got to know who your kids are with. You have to know who her friends are and what their influences are in her life.
2. Sudden drop in school performance. That's a huge SOS. We're not talking about a case of a math whiz struggling with English. Be concerned with a child who has been consistent and now grades have dropped. It's time to figure out why this is happening. Is it depression? Could it be drug abuse? Could it be that they're being bullied? When a great kid becomes detached, it raises a red flag. If the child becomes truant (truancy is the No. 1 predictor that a boy will have a criminal record and the No. 2 predictor for girls, according to the U.S. Department of Justice); has lost interest in his or her positive activities; has abandoned goals; lacks motivation; is very apathetic -these are all red flags.
3. Extreme mood swings. That's where it gets complicated ... but it's also another huge red flag. With hormonal changes and body chemistry, kids are going through a lot. You can expect mood swings... but if your kid is going from being deeply depressed to extremely happy, and back again; you need to figure out what is going on. Sleeping patterns are very important, too. If they're not sleeping or they're sleeping all the time - from one extreme to another, you may have a problem.
Extreme moodiness. Aren't they all moody? Yes, but this teen has unreasonable fits of anger; is very disrespectful; exhibits hostility toward family members; is very withdrawn and barely communicative, and wants to be left all alone most of the time.
4. Lies about whereabouts. Another big one: You think he's at soccer practice, but he's over at someone's house without supervision. You think she's spending the night with a person she knows well, and instead she's at an acquaintance's house. You have to find out why they are lying. Other signs are that they frequently miss curfew; or disappear without explanation.
5. Mysterious financial changes. The child either has lots of unexplained money at one time and doesn't at other times. Perhaps there are problems like stealing from family or you can't account for the stuff they are buying. Unexplained valuables, jewelry or other things appear. She got an MP3 player for her birthday and now doesn't have it anymore, if it's lost, that's one thing. If you continually see things missing and there's no reasonable explanation, plus they're withdrawn, there may be a problem.
One of the most perplexing issues a parent faces is how to determine if their child is at risk. What is normal and what is not? As a parent, if that radar is going off, listen to the warning. Follow close, be the boss and let your child know you're there. It is an important way to let your teen know you love them.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Democracy in Action
The race for President is creating a perfect learning opportunity for our teens. Nothing could be a better teacher about democracy than being old enough to vote for President. This is one Presidential election these young people will never forget.
For students about to vote in their first election this is an exciting time to be alive! Teens are living through the candidacy of not only the first woman contender, but also the first African American candidate. There may be much speculation about the Democratic nominee, and the accusations between parties and between candidates may start to fly, which might tend to be a downer, but nevertheless, history is being made. These teens very well may witness other female or African American presidents in their lifetime, but they will be able to say, "I remember the very first (woman) (African American) candidate back in 2008."
Yes, this is an exciting time for young voters.
It is also an exciting time for young candidates. Tyler Hammons, 2007 graduate of Muskogee High School, is running for mayor of Muskogee. This excellent young man has a burning desire to actively participate in the running of our country. Watch him - he may be in the running for President of the United States in 2028 as the youngest President in U.S. history!
Teens often mimic the political sentiments of their parents, so we should know we are being watched. This year is an excellent year to have some meaningful discussions with our children about the democratic process and the duty and privilege of exercising the right to vote. The race itself may dwindle down to ad hominem argumentation, but we don't have to. Expressing legitimate reasons for choosing a candidate will help our children understand the importance of making an educated decision based on facts.
Helping our children understand democracy and the voting process can help strengthen the future citizenry of our country. After all, they'll be paying for and making decisions about our Social Security!
For students about to vote in their first election this is an exciting time to be alive! Teens are living through the candidacy of not only the first woman contender, but also the first African American candidate. There may be much speculation about the Democratic nominee, and the accusations between parties and between candidates may start to fly, which might tend to be a downer, but nevertheless, history is being made. These teens very well may witness other female or African American presidents in their lifetime, but they will be able to say, "I remember the very first (woman) (African American) candidate back in 2008."
Yes, this is an exciting time for young voters.
It is also an exciting time for young candidates. Tyler Hammons, 2007 graduate of Muskogee High School, is running for mayor of Muskogee. This excellent young man has a burning desire to actively participate in the running of our country. Watch him - he may be in the running for President of the United States in 2028 as the youngest President in U.S. history!
Teens often mimic the political sentiments of their parents, so we should know we are being watched. This year is an excellent year to have some meaningful discussions with our children about the democratic process and the duty and privilege of exercising the right to vote. The race itself may dwindle down to ad hominem argumentation, but we don't have to. Expressing legitimate reasons for choosing a candidate will help our children understand the importance of making an educated decision based on facts.
Helping our children understand democracy and the voting process can help strengthen the future citizenry of our country. After all, they'll be paying for and making decisions about our Social Security!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Be My Valentine
Valentine Day is fast approaching. Chocolates, flowers, and dinner out with your sweetheart are usual ways to tell someone special you care. I just mailed Happy Valentines Day presents to my growing and grown children in Norman and OKC. I can't make them heart shaped pancakes for breakfast anymore and home room parties with Red Velvet cupcakes are a distant memory. That doesn't mean our traditions can't be continued, they just have to be modified. My oldest will be making those heart shaped pancakes for her babies on Thursday and I'm sure granddaughterAnnebelle and I will whip something up that includes pink sugar, red hots and lots of icing.
Have you ever used a smaller holiday like Valentines as an opportunity to make memories with your family? Why not try it this year? Instead of a pop tart on Thursday, surprise your family with a yummy breakfast to go. Decorate the paper sack with goofy hearts and valentine wishes. Include valentine napkins and little boxes of Conversation Hearts. Hand it to your kids with a hug and a smile as they run out the door.
Need some Ideas for a Breakfast Brown Bag ?
*Link Sausage wrapped in Pancakes. Strawberries and bananas in a throwaway container. A pint of milk or a juice box.
*A Bacon Sandwich on whole wheat toast with a fried egg and cheese. (The pre-cooked Bacon is great if you are in a hurry) Add Cantalope chunks and a favorite yogurt
*A Scrambled Egg Burrito with ham and peppers. Toaster hash browns and a sliced apple.
*If time is a consideration, make muffins or a favorite fruit bread ahead (or buy them!) and heat to go. Include orange wedges and a couple of slices of turkey bacon.
Should breakfast be out of the question, how about a Valentine Dinner? The dollar stores have those "old school" cupids and hearts that pull out and also sell Valentine balloons to tie on all the chairs. Unfold that old lace tablecloth and put those roses your husband sent you (sic) into Great Grammy's crystal vase. Candles? Of course. Syrupy greeting cards at each place? Definitely!
Include at each place a small present if you like. Maybe a gift card to a favorite store or restaurant. How about Boxers for the Boys with a Valentine theme. A "better brand" nail polish or lipstick you know your daughter would love is always a treat. Try small boxes of chocolates for each child with a sentimental and funny "Why We Love You" list from you and your husband. Dinner of course should be a family favorite with something decadent and delicious for dessert. Spaghetti and Caesar Salad. Beef Burgundy over noodles with green beans and almonds. Pork Tenderloin with rice pilaf and broiled tomatoes. Dessert? Something chocolate of course!!!
Note: The only prerequisite to the above is a Special Night out for you with your sweetheart. It's only fair!
Here's an old standby that seems fancy but is so easy!!
Chicken Breasts in Sour Cream Sauce
8 slices dried beef (in a jar)
8 skinless boneless chicken breast halves
4 slices bacon-cut in half
1 cup sour cream
one can cream of mushroom soup
2 cups sliced, fresh mushrooms
Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Lay one piece of dried beef on each chicken breast and wrap with a slice of bacon. Place in a greased 13 x 9 casserole dish, seam side down. Mix remaining ingredients and pour over chicken breasts. Cover and bake for 1 1/2 hours. Serve with rice.
Brownie Sundaes
Make one pan brownies (Or buy already prepared)
Good vanilla, coffee or peppermint ice cream
Smuckers Hot Fudge topping or make your own
chopped pecans
Whipped cream or whipped topping
Using any pretty dishes, compotes or dessert plates, layer brownie, ice cream and heated hot fudge sauce. Top with whipped cream and nuts.
Whatever you do will be perfect for your family. Just do something that reminds your kids you love them most of all.
dddddddddddddddddddd
FYI : Muskogee Youth Coaltition and Office of Juvenile Affairs are presenting a workshop entitled MYSPACE AND THE INTERNET - What parents, teachers and Youth serving workers need to know to stay ahead of their children. It will be held on Tuesday, February 19th from 11:00-1:00 at the Rougher Room, DHS 727 S 32nd Street More information? call Walt Davis at 682-4204 or OJA 683-9160
Have you ever used a smaller holiday like Valentines as an opportunity to make memories with your family? Why not try it this year? Instead of a pop tart on Thursday, surprise your family with a yummy breakfast to go. Decorate the paper sack with goofy hearts and valentine wishes. Include valentine napkins and little boxes of Conversation Hearts. Hand it to your kids with a hug and a smile as they run out the door.
Need some Ideas for a Breakfast Brown Bag ?
*Link Sausage wrapped in Pancakes. Strawberries and bananas in a throwaway container. A pint of milk or a juice box.
*A Bacon Sandwich on whole wheat toast with a fried egg and cheese. (The pre-cooked Bacon is great if you are in a hurry) Add Cantalope chunks and a favorite yogurt
*A Scrambled Egg Burrito with ham and peppers. Toaster hash browns and a sliced apple.
*If time is a consideration, make muffins or a favorite fruit bread ahead (or buy them!) and heat to go. Include orange wedges and a couple of slices of turkey bacon.
Should breakfast be out of the question, how about a Valentine Dinner? The dollar stores have those "old school" cupids and hearts that pull out and also sell Valentine balloons to tie on all the chairs. Unfold that old lace tablecloth and put those roses your husband sent you (sic) into Great Grammy's crystal vase. Candles? Of course. Syrupy greeting cards at each place? Definitely!
Include at each place a small present if you like. Maybe a gift card to a favorite store or restaurant. How about Boxers for the Boys with a Valentine theme. A "better brand" nail polish or lipstick you know your daughter would love is always a treat. Try small boxes of chocolates for each child with a sentimental and funny "Why We Love You" list from you and your husband. Dinner of course should be a family favorite with something decadent and delicious for dessert. Spaghetti and Caesar Salad. Beef Burgundy over noodles with green beans and almonds. Pork Tenderloin with rice pilaf and broiled tomatoes. Dessert? Something chocolate of course!!!
Note: The only prerequisite to the above is a Special Night out for you with your sweetheart. It's only fair!
Here's an old standby that seems fancy but is so easy!!
Chicken Breasts in Sour Cream Sauce
8 slices dried beef (in a jar)
8 skinless boneless chicken breast halves
4 slices bacon-cut in half
1 cup sour cream
one can cream of mushroom soup
2 cups sliced, fresh mushrooms
Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Lay one piece of dried beef on each chicken breast and wrap with a slice of bacon. Place in a greased 13 x 9 casserole dish, seam side down. Mix remaining ingredients and pour over chicken breasts. Cover and bake for 1 1/2 hours. Serve with rice.
Brownie Sundaes
Make one pan brownies (Or buy already prepared)
Good vanilla, coffee or peppermint ice cream
Smuckers Hot Fudge topping or make your own
chopped pecans
Whipped cream or whipped topping
Using any pretty dishes, compotes or dessert plates, layer brownie, ice cream and heated hot fudge sauce. Top with whipped cream and nuts.
Whatever you do will be perfect for your family. Just do something that reminds your kids you love them most of all.
dddddddddddddddddddd
FYI : Muskogee Youth Coaltition and Office of Juvenile Affairs are presenting a workshop entitled MYSPACE AND THE INTERNET - What parents, teachers and Youth serving workers need to know to stay ahead of their children. It will be held on Tuesday, February 19th from 11:00-1:00 at the Rougher Room, DHS 727 S 32nd Street More information? call Walt Davis at 682-4204 or OJA 683-9160
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Mens Sana in Corpore Sano
As a classicist I am always comparing the styles of two ancient super powers: the Spartans and the Athenians. I think a good Latin motto to combine the two philosophies would be mens sana in corpore sano, a sound mind in a sound body. Either way, a common trait between the two philosophies is discipline - a disciplined mind and a disciplined body.
This should also be the motto of all families raising children. Instilling a disciplined body with a disciplined mind is the surest path to success. Youth sports, dance lessons, music lessons, gymnastic lessons, etc. all combine with school work to produce the epitome of a well-rounded person who can compete and function in a multitude of venues without feeling as much awkward self-consciousness as those who have not had the same training. This has been pretty much common knowledge for the last, oh say, 2, 700 years, give or take a few.
This week saw the sad passing of Orlando Jefferson, a Muskogee legend who knew the value of athletic discipline. He and LaVerna produced an athletic and college educated family whose lives have touched literally thousands of people in a positive way. I know his life proved of great blessing to me, as the Jefferson clan has generated some of the best memories of my life. Whether cheering from the sidelines, coaching, or making a winning play, this family has been a powerhouse of Muskogee athletics whose influence will continue to effect a positive outcome for the lives of so many Muskogee kids.
As a parent, it's your turn to step up to the plate. Parent coaches and support personnel are needed in so many student activities, from youth soccer coaches to the fans in the stands - all play an important role in supporting Muskogee's youth. The discipline of a sound mind in a sound body begins at home. If you have not directed your teenager toward athletics yet, for example, tennis, it may be too late to win the Wimbledon championship, but it's not to late to develop a lifelong skill that will provide memories for you and your child and joy for a lifetime. It doesn't matter if it's running, darts, billiards, horseshoes, swimming, golf, or archery - in the words of the Nike motto, just do it. Coincidentally, nike is also an ancient Greek word meaning victory.
Mens sana in corpore sano. It's a great philosophy to live by.
This should also be the motto of all families raising children. Instilling a disciplined body with a disciplined mind is the surest path to success. Youth sports, dance lessons, music lessons, gymnastic lessons, etc. all combine with school work to produce the epitome of a well-rounded person who can compete and function in a multitude of venues without feeling as much awkward self-consciousness as those who have not had the same training. This has been pretty much common knowledge for the last, oh say, 2, 700 years, give or take a few.
This week saw the sad passing of Orlando Jefferson, a Muskogee legend who knew the value of athletic discipline. He and LaVerna produced an athletic and college educated family whose lives have touched literally thousands of people in a positive way. I know his life proved of great blessing to me, as the Jefferson clan has generated some of the best memories of my life. Whether cheering from the sidelines, coaching, or making a winning play, this family has been a powerhouse of Muskogee athletics whose influence will continue to effect a positive outcome for the lives of so many Muskogee kids.
As a parent, it's your turn to step up to the plate. Parent coaches and support personnel are needed in so many student activities, from youth soccer coaches to the fans in the stands - all play an important role in supporting Muskogee's youth. The discipline of a sound mind in a sound body begins at home. If you have not directed your teenager toward athletics yet, for example, tennis, it may be too late to win the Wimbledon championship, but it's not to late to develop a lifelong skill that will provide memories for you and your child and joy for a lifetime. It doesn't matter if it's running, darts, billiards, horseshoes, swimming, golf, or archery - in the words of the Nike motto, just do it. Coincidentally, nike is also an ancient Greek word meaning victory.
Mens sana in corpore sano. It's a great philosophy to live by.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
"Middlers"
Preteen. Prepubescent. Preadolescent. All these "pre's" sound like something to wait out until the "real" stuff happens. ....Teen.... Puberty.... Adolescent. Definitely not so. Experts have found that this mid-teen phase entails changes as dramatic and significant as the toddler years and presents opportunities (or lost chances) for a child's success in school, relationships and life.
This new phase makes parents anxious. Saving a 12 -year -old from danger is not as easy as catching a toddler before a tumble down the stairs. Wiping tears away and a bedtime story no longer results in smiles and "warm fuzzies." We can't hover over our ten- to - fifteen year olds. For the most part they are on their own, traveling to and from school, time at the mall or movies, at sports and extra curricular activities, and unsupervised at other homes and other places. Parents can't always protect them and sometimes he or she even has to suffer consequences. Crossing fingers and toes, we hope for a good outcome. One, that the consequences won't be too severe and two, that something valuable is learned from the experience.
Losing control is never easy and losing control over someone you love, someone you know still needs your life experience and guidance, is downright chilling. For some reason, as things get rocky, sometimes the inclination is for parents to withdraw and recede into the background. The Roller Coaster Years by Charlene Gianntti offers the following statements explaining why some pre-teen parents choose to get out of the way.
Young children need parents more than older ones do.
Young adolescents just need to be left alone in order to become more indepedent.
My child has a personal life now and it doesn't include me.
Ten to fifteen year olds care more about what their peers think than what their parents think.
For the record, all these perceptions are wrong. Young adolescents need more, not less, from parents. Children in this age group care what parents think, far and above what anyone else thinks. These young people are walking contradictions and the greatest inconsistency involves their parents. "Young adolescents are a dichotomy," admits Ross Burkhardt, past president of the National Middle School Association. "Mom and Dad are extremely important, even though they don't want to admit it. This can be confusing for parents. A Leave me alone may mean, "I need more privacy than you are giving me but don't go to far. I'll need you later."
Experts contend that parenting is no less important as a child grows beyond ten. The fact is that hands-on parenting makes or breaks the future of young adolescents. The Carnegie Council points out, "Studies show that although young adolescents crave and require adult support and guidance as they struggle toward independence. Alarmingly, it is during the period ages ten through fourteen when these essential requirements are less likely to be met." Carnegie warns, "If the nation continues to neglect this age group, millions of our young will become lifelong casualties."
With pre-and early teens, parents have a golden opportunity to play an active part in their children's lives. Nickelodeon TV polled "middlers". What follows sums up supports the consensus that younger teens need their parents more than ever.
* Ninety-three percent of nine to eleven year olds consider being part of a loving family to be much more important than owning material things. A surprising response from our supposed "material" boys and girls.
* Eighty-eight percent credit family as their greatest source of self-esteem.
*Among student ranging from ten to thirteen, 72 percent wanted to talk to their parents more about school work.
A child that feels he or she is their parent's primary focus gains confidence and self esteem. Parents who have this strong relationship continue to serve as a guide in terms of discipline and emotional support. Putting in the hours with our "middler" insures that a parent is a prized possession, a source of positive self image, a tutor, and nicest of all, a guiding light.
##################################
This new phase makes parents anxious. Saving a 12 -year -old from danger is not as easy as catching a toddler before a tumble down the stairs. Wiping tears away and a bedtime story no longer results in smiles and "warm fuzzies." We can't hover over our ten- to - fifteen year olds. For the most part they are on their own, traveling to and from school, time at the mall or movies, at sports and extra curricular activities, and unsupervised at other homes and other places. Parents can't always protect them and sometimes he or she even has to suffer consequences. Crossing fingers and toes, we hope for a good outcome. One, that the consequences won't be too severe and two, that something valuable is learned from the experience.
Losing control is never easy and losing control over someone you love, someone you know still needs your life experience and guidance, is downright chilling. For some reason, as things get rocky, sometimes the inclination is for parents to withdraw and recede into the background. The Roller Coaster Years by Charlene Gianntti offers the following statements explaining why some pre-teen parents choose to get out of the way.
Young children need parents more than older ones do.
Young adolescents just need to be left alone in order to become more indepedent.
My child has a personal life now and it doesn't include me.
Ten to fifteen year olds care more about what their peers think than what their parents think.
For the record, all these perceptions are wrong. Young adolescents need more, not less, from parents. Children in this age group care what parents think, far and above what anyone else thinks. These young people are walking contradictions and the greatest inconsistency involves their parents. "Young adolescents are a dichotomy," admits Ross Burkhardt, past president of the National Middle School Association. "Mom and Dad are extremely important, even though they don't want to admit it. This can be confusing for parents. A Leave me alone may mean, "I need more privacy than you are giving me but don't go to far. I'll need you later."
Experts contend that parenting is no less important as a child grows beyond ten. The fact is that hands-on parenting makes or breaks the future of young adolescents. The Carnegie Council points out, "Studies show that although young adolescents crave and require adult support and guidance as they struggle toward independence. Alarmingly, it is during the period ages ten through fourteen when these essential requirements are less likely to be met." Carnegie warns, "If the nation continues to neglect this age group, millions of our young will become lifelong casualties."
With pre-and early teens, parents have a golden opportunity to play an active part in their children's lives. Nickelodeon TV polled "middlers". What follows sums up supports the consensus that younger teens need their parents more than ever.
* Ninety-three percent of nine to eleven year olds consider being part of a loving family to be much more important than owning material things. A surprising response from our supposed "material" boys and girls.
* Eighty-eight percent credit family as their greatest source of self-esteem.
*Among student ranging from ten to thirteen, 72 percent wanted to talk to their parents more about school work.
A child that feels he or she is their parent's primary focus gains confidence and self esteem. Parents who have this strong relationship continue to serve as a guide in terms of discipline and emotional support. Putting in the hours with our "middler" insures that a parent is a prized possession, a source of positive self image, a tutor, and nicest of all, a guiding light.
##################################
Sunday, February 3, 2008
The Battle of the Bands
Do you remember when the House played almost every weekend after the football game? Well, I probably made that up in a fit of nostalgia, but I do remember there were dances at least once a month, maybe twice, and live music was, well...as much as I loved listening to Lynn Hoffman, Richard Jones, and Greg Raw, it was really all we had to choose from in the pre-DJ days. After they graduated, Ken Beard and Mark Hine took over, followed by Barry Love close behind.
I liked the band thing. It gave us some real people we knew to rally behind. It forged some bonds among the classes that don't exist in the same way today, well except for one small near riot between the Senior Class of 1969 and the then sophomore Class of 1971.
We still did Junior-Senior Proms that way at Muskogee High School, with a live band, until about the 1980's. Then gradually radio DJ's took over. It made more sense, as the DJ had a wide assortment of music to assuage the inner teenager in preppies, cowboys, funkadelics, and punks alike. Hello digital music, hello future.
But, goodbye creativity, musical intelligence for the masses, and the Battle of the Bands. In coming into the digital age we have lost something human in us - we have surrendered it to the machine.
All studies have shown that students who study music and play an honest-to-goodness musical instrument (not a fruity loops program on the computer) do better at critical reasoning. They have been shown to perform better on the SAT, too.
Also, a band is about WE and not ME, like a DJ is. It develops cooperation and an understanding of human relations and, sometimes, how to make up after a fight. In other words, it promotes team work and cooperative learning.
Aside from the Swon Brothers, I never hear about teen bands in Muskogee anymore, but maybe I am just out of that loop. The garage band, it seems, has given way to the production of CD's, and that's okay - it is a fun, non-destructive way for teens to pass time, even if it doesn't involve the ability to read music. It could also lead to a recording contract, if the teen is talented enough or latches onto that one loop that hits the bigtime.
But, while I can see having dueling rappers or DJ's, I just can't see having a Battle of the CD's. It just doesn't sound very exciting.
If your child has a band, the Oklahoma Heritage Association is sponsoring a Battle of the Bands in OKC. The entry date is quick - Feb. 6th, this Wednesday.
The Teen Board of the Okla. Heritage Assoc. is looking for a variety of genres and age groups to showcase in the Battle. Applications are due to the Gaylord-Pickens Oklahoma Heritage Museum by February 6. Go to the Oklahoma Heritage website to download the application.
www.oklahomaheritage.com/TeenBoard
I liked the band thing. It gave us some real people we knew to rally behind. It forged some bonds among the classes that don't exist in the same way today, well except for one small near riot between the Senior Class of 1969 and the then sophomore Class of 1971.
We still did Junior-Senior Proms that way at Muskogee High School, with a live band, until about the 1980's. Then gradually radio DJ's took over. It made more sense, as the DJ had a wide assortment of music to assuage the inner teenager in preppies, cowboys, funkadelics, and punks alike. Hello digital music, hello future.
But, goodbye creativity, musical intelligence for the masses, and the Battle of the Bands. In coming into the digital age we have lost something human in us - we have surrendered it to the machine.
All studies have shown that students who study music and play an honest-to-goodness musical instrument (not a fruity loops program on the computer) do better at critical reasoning. They have been shown to perform better on the SAT, too.
Also, a band is about WE and not ME, like a DJ is. It develops cooperation and an understanding of human relations and, sometimes, how to make up after a fight. In other words, it promotes team work and cooperative learning.
Aside from the Swon Brothers, I never hear about teen bands in Muskogee anymore, but maybe I am just out of that loop. The garage band, it seems, has given way to the production of CD's, and that's okay - it is a fun, non-destructive way for teens to pass time, even if it doesn't involve the ability to read music. It could also lead to a recording contract, if the teen is talented enough or latches onto that one loop that hits the bigtime.
But, while I can see having dueling rappers or DJ's, I just can't see having a Battle of the CD's. It just doesn't sound very exciting.
If your child has a band, the Oklahoma Heritage Association is sponsoring a Battle of the Bands in OKC. The entry date is quick - Feb. 6th, this Wednesday.
The Teen Board of the Okla. Heritage Assoc. is looking for a variety of genres and age groups to showcase in the Battle. Applications are due to the Gaylord-Pickens Oklahoma Heritage Museum by February 6. Go to the Oklahoma Heritage website to download the application.
www.oklahomaheritage.com/TeenBoard
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)