Confident and well adjusted children are an overused idea don't you think? As the book we have been laughing with, How to Traumatize Your Children states, "Validation is for Parking-or-How To Kill Self Esteem." After all, isn't life tough? The sooner children figure out they are nothing special, the better.
The chapter continues, "There's no free lunch and we are doing kids no favors by building up their touchy-feely self esteem." We didn't get a leg up did we, why should they? Why wait until their boss tells them they are worthless? It's better he be prepared by his family . Tell him he is worthless throughout his childhood and teen years. By the time it comes from a stranger he'll have a thick skin. Your child can learn at a parent's knee how inadequate he is.
Parenting via self esteem homicide bestows a great gift on our offspring. It also supplies a punching bag for the stress of our own life. Hasn't life been a great disappointment? Our own children are great ones to blame for our personal failures. Making our kids feel inadequate releases those pesky pent up feelings we have carried around since our own childhood. Put your kid down and just feel the power.
What follows is a stage by stage game plan for murdering self -esteem in your very own child.
1. Infant: Tell your child to stop being such a crybaby and attend to their needs minimally and with resentment.
2. Toddler: Through body language and interaction express your feelings of resentment and frustration.
3. Child: Once your child is in school, you can begin comparing her to others and gathering tangible proof of his stupidity.
4. Adolescent: Puberty brings those physical changes that make any person feel awkward and ugly-make sure these do not pass without an appropriate comment.
5. Teen: In the teen years, referring to your child's lack of success, unpopularity and constantly disappointing you are especially effective.
6. Young Adult: While watching your child try to find themselves in the early stages of adulthood, point out their failures and mistakes. Offer no encouragement.
7. Adult: Now that your child is fully grown, never leave any doubt that he/she is a huge disappointment.
Happiness has been defined as the gap between expectation and reality. Remind your child that he personally has nothing to look forward to. Useful phrases to instill self-loathing include:
"You're worthless"
"You'll never amount to anything"
"You're a complete disappointment to me."
The beauty of this parenting style is that after a few years, your offspring will believe they are worthless - all by themselves.
5 comments:
i gotta get this book and leave it in a few mailboxes of people I know..and I could hand them out at the mall and walmart when i hear a parent screaming at their child and berating him/her in front of God and everybody?
Children raised unaffirmed and conditionally become parents who raise their kids in the same way-hopefully with awareness we can identify traits in ourselves and retrain our family interaction-see it like a process, we break the old patterns and introduce new ones. You all have good stuff here.
You're right. Breaking old patterns we learned at a dysfuntional parent's knee is difficult but possible and a gift to the emotional health and developing spirit of those people we love most of all-our own children. C
A positive note is that sometimes parents wake up and try to undo the damage - intentional or unintentional - they have done to their kids and set about finding ways to heal the family. There is always that hope!
actually this is very wrong bring up the kids self esteem when he is young
whatever you want him to be good at make sure at a young age you act very impressed at a skill or talent they have
they will identify that talent with thenmselves and try to solidify their reality by reinforcing the beleif that that trait in them exists. if you tell them they are really good at guitar and they have alot of talent and potential they well practice to prove to themselves that they are right
if you follow this article you might have the most #$%^&# kid
thank you
:)
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