Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Hello. It's Me

Over the decades, Good Housekeeping has offered tips on everything from dealing with teething to taming spirited teens. Here, Good Housekeeping shares their wisdom, including stopping the back talk and talking so teens will listen.  Just imagine.  Eye contact and a conversation! 

Stop the Back Talk Strategy
#1. Set Clear Rules

Figure out what's most important to you (No put-downs? No muttering? No condescending gazes?) and announce the rules to all members of the family. Post them in the kitchen for future reference, if need be.
Stop the Back Talk Strategy
#2. Decide Not to Take It
Parents who refuse to tolerate rude behavior tend to have kids who - you guessed it - aren't rude. Dole out consequences.
Stop the Back Talk Strategy
#3. Don't Get Into the Act
Sure, it's tempting to toss back a zinger to show the offending child how it feels, but bite your tongue and set an excellent example instead. Don't stoop to their maturity level. Model adult behavior so your child will have something positive to emulate.
Talk So Teens Will Listen Strategy
#1. Ask Questions
Ask questions rather than dictating solutions. For instance, try, "Do you think you'll be able to get the whole project done in two nights?"rather than, "You have to start your science project now?" Questions encourage kids to think for themselves (good thing) and give them the sense you trust them.
Talk So Teens Will Listen Strategy
#2. Take a Collaborative Approach
Try the let's collaborate approach. Explain what you're worried about (maybe he's staying up too late) and say something like, "I've noticed you're having trouble getting up in the morning. What do you think would help you feel more rested?" Let him try his suggestions; then, if they don't work, share yours. Open ended is the way to go when making suggestions.
Talk So Teens Will Listen Strategy
#3. Weave Advice into Everyday Conversations
A formal "Come here; we need to talk" approach usually doesn't work. Instead, catch kids when they're feeling chatty and pay attention to the times of day when they open up naturally - for some it's after school, for others it's before bed. You know your teen. 
Good communication is one of the most important skills we can have as a parent. If you and your teen are seeming to not understand one another, try some of the tips above to reconnect and renew your relationship.  Happy October.  Chrissie


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