Last weekend there was an editorial by Craig Harris in the Muskogee Phoenix. His topic was kids tech lingo. If you have ever watched your child respond to a text, you know how savvy they are. They whip the phone out with lightening speed and send a message back with an introduction, thesis and conclusion. Everything is abbreviated. Shortcuts do save on those pesky key strokes when teens are communicating during history class or driving down the highway at 60 miles an hour.
Examples shared by Mr. Harris include acronyms parents should watch out for. Some particularly alarming ones are POS (parent over shoulder), LMIRL (Let's meet in real life), WYRN (what's your real name) IWSN, (I want sex now) and RYO, (Roll your own). His column continues with some more innocent and amusing examples. DTTG (Don't go there girlfriend), GLG (good looking guy), TLITBC (that's life in the big city) and ADIP, (another day in paradise).
I say fair is fair. It's time for parents to jump on the texting bandwagon. We can all get with these new smoke signals and communicate with our children. Won't our adolescents be thrilled! Imagine, sitting at the mall with friends, Penelope Sue's phone signals a text message. Penelope eagerly whips her phone out to see who is texting. AUBY...(are you behaving yourself?) Cody Wayne is squirming in the balcony at Sunday service and you notice his stealthy retreat, right before the sermon starts. Buzz.... his phone vibrates.... GSE&SDI-(God sees everything and so do I.)
Consider your seasonal shopping trips. No eye contact is made between you and your 15 year old until you and your credit card meet him at the cash register. You notice (from an accepted distance) little Johnny caressing a $160.00 pair of athletic shoes and making his way toward a clerk. NGHlvM (not gonna happen, love Mom). Texting would also be handy for inappropriate clothing choices our girls are making. OMCDB. (Over my cold, dead body).
I am liking this. Here's a couple more. Curfew has passed and there is no sign of sweet thing. IKWNXTBT. (I know we'll both enjoy all this extra time we'll be spending together). The grass is up above your knees because your teen just has not had time to mow the yard. D&ILVWY$- (Dad and I are off to Las Vegas with your allowance. Thanks!) Even better, there's mumblings about possible piercings, tattoos and alternative lifestyles. D&IROTEWYC$. (Dad and I are off to Europe with your college money. Bon Voyage Stud.)
This messaging could also be used for positive re enforcement. A co-worker runs into your child at lunch. Your son said hello, and,.... shook hands! With quivering fingers you text, CBPBsMH, (caught being polite, be still my heart). At Parent/Teacher conferences you are informed a grade has been brought up and the instructor notes extra effort......Gasp! NWDUW2G2C?, (Now, I'm listening. Where did you want to go to college?) And a catch all for anything positive? PPP (Particularly Proud Parent) .
Parent to parent communication would be interesting. Your phone signals a text at 11:30 one night. JHNOMPS-(just heard...insert your child here... name on my police scanner). Another parent notices your little darling seated in front of her at the movie. DHNIP. (Date's hands not in the popcorn. ) You hear the familiar mantra, "but everyone's doing it...., wearing it......, buying it.....," and with just a quick check of the parent network, a unanimous and resounding NOMW (not on my watch!) nips all discussion in the bud.
Teacher-parent communication could be short and sweet. ZZZZZ (Sleeping in class). FFFF (Failing in Class) . GRRRR (A horse's rear in class). NoHAHA (Not as funny as he thinks he is in class). Every time a teacher would pull a cell phone out, 30 students would snap to attention.
You get the idea. Let's join the tech revolution. We can now embarrass and humiliate our children in this simple and stress free manner. No more scenes. No more tears. We don't even have to look at them. Just text admonitions, compliments, threats and sage advice to our children. TTU4I. (They'll thank us for it).
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Not Your Average Schoolyard Bully
Today's kids are mean. Ok, that's a blanket statement, but by-and-large, the average kid is blatantly mean. No, he's not beating someone up after school like the proverbial schoolyard bully of old. But, he is slowly, daily, assassinating someone's sense of self and peace of mind at school.
School is not all that great a place to begin with. It is an institution, after all. It can be a hellacious experience for a teen right from the start. Bad hair days, a sudden pimple break out, having to ask to use the restroom, and then there are no doors on the restroom are all indiginities that slap a student in the face in the first few minutes after the bell rings.
And then the harrassment begins. Teens tell each other what to do, tell the teachers what they can go and do, and talk over each other at an alarming rate. They butt into other people's conversations and cause controversy where it is uncalled for. They bully people by giving their unsolicited opinion whenever and wherever they want. A new form of bullying in our society is unbridled egomania run amok. In short, RUDENESS IS A FORM OF BULLYING. Rude teens may not be beating someone up with their fists, but they are just as surely forcing their will on another person.
Post Columbine anti-bullying campaigns and legislation have had to be enacted all across the United States. Just today on the front page of the Muskogee Phoenix the announcement was made that MPS would begin using the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program developed in Norway after two students killed themselves because they had been bullied at school.
But, in America, an even deadlier teen response to bullying is to go get a gun and shoot the bully. Columbine, Jonesboro, and too many other places have seen the result bullying can have on a young people. Just this past October a Wisconsin teacher was shot by a teenager who felt the teacher had harrassed (bullied) him. In America, we have a different response to bullying.
What is causing this? You really don't have to look very far to find several sources for bullying behavior among teens. Man's natural aggression is enhanced today by hypermasculinity portrayed in music videos; many unsportsman-like professional athletes; parents who beat up other parents or kids on the sports field; and what Jason Katz refers to as the "ratcheting up of what it takes to be considered manly" evidenced in movies like the soon-to-be-released "300" based on the graffic novel about the ancient Battle of Thermopolyae. Add in today's comedy programs like South Park, the Simpson's or Bill Marr (who invites unsuspecting guests on the show and then demeans them by not allowing them to get a word in edgewise), and the belief many people have that they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, to whomever they want without repurcussion, and you have a society that actually promotes bullying behavior.
While anti-bullying education should start at a young age, it's never too late for parents to correct bullying behavior they may observe in their teenager. You never know, you may just be saving your kid's life.
School is not all that great a place to begin with. It is an institution, after all. It can be a hellacious experience for a teen right from the start. Bad hair days, a sudden pimple break out, having to ask to use the restroom, and then there are no doors on the restroom are all indiginities that slap a student in the face in the first few minutes after the bell rings.
And then the harrassment begins. Teens tell each other what to do, tell the teachers what they can go and do, and talk over each other at an alarming rate. They butt into other people's conversations and cause controversy where it is uncalled for. They bully people by giving their unsolicited opinion whenever and wherever they want. A new form of bullying in our society is unbridled egomania run amok. In short, RUDENESS IS A FORM OF BULLYING. Rude teens may not be beating someone up with their fists, but they are just as surely forcing their will on another person.
Post Columbine anti-bullying campaigns and legislation have had to be enacted all across the United States. Just today on the front page of the Muskogee Phoenix the announcement was made that MPS would begin using the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program developed in Norway after two students killed themselves because they had been bullied at school.
But, in America, an even deadlier teen response to bullying is to go get a gun and shoot the bully. Columbine, Jonesboro, and too many other places have seen the result bullying can have on a young people. Just this past October a Wisconsin teacher was shot by a teenager who felt the teacher had harrassed (bullied) him. In America, we have a different response to bullying.
What is causing this? You really don't have to look very far to find several sources for bullying behavior among teens. Man's natural aggression is enhanced today by hypermasculinity portrayed in music videos; many unsportsman-like professional athletes; parents who beat up other parents or kids on the sports field; and what Jason Katz refers to as the "ratcheting up of what it takes to be considered manly" evidenced in movies like the soon-to-be-released "300" based on the graffic novel about the ancient Battle of Thermopolyae. Add in today's comedy programs like South Park, the Simpson's or Bill Marr (who invites unsuspecting guests on the show and then demeans them by not allowing them to get a word in edgewise), and the belief many people have that they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, to whomever they want without repurcussion, and you have a society that actually promotes bullying behavior.
While anti-bullying education should start at a young age, it's never too late for parents to correct bullying behavior they may observe in their teenager. You never know, you may just be saving your kid's life.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Senior Trips -Oh My!
Out of four children, we allowed our oldest boy to go to Cancun. He was graduating high school and assumed his right of passage was the Senior Trip south of the border. We allowed him to go, but so did his Father with two other Dads. These middle age men returned from sunny Mexico with eyes as wide as sand dollars, shaking their graying heads. These calm and well-traveled men were tongue tied and incredulous.
Even with his own parent somewhere in the vicinity, my son bungee jumped at a tourist stand, trusting other countries to have the same safety standards as his own did. Our designated Dads accompanied the kids crammed on a party boat called the Booze Cruise to Isla Mujeres. The evening culminated in various "games", organized by the cruise line and fueled by the tequila and Corona that had been consumed coming across to the island. You have seen "Girls Gone Wild"? Six years ago, this behavior was not marketed and aired on MTV. Our "chaperones" were absolutely shocked as inhibitions were broken down and good judgement disappeared as quickly as young girls T-shirts. Another night there was an altercation at Carlos and Charlie's and a stampede resulted as kids tried to get out of the way and out of the bar. Several were injured.
Perhaps you argue, "I trust my child. He would not participate in dangerous behavior." Or other parents counter, "They're graduating. Let 'em go have fun. You're only young once." The one my husband and I succumbed to was "everyone else is going"- but only one time.
Our kids go out of the country where liquor laws are non-existent and our teens are targeted customers. Granted, thousands of students return with a good tan and none the worse for wear. However, ask any of them if they would ever go back. In my totally unscientific survey, 8 out of 10 will say no. As young men and women mature in college, they realize what dangerous situations they were in and how naive and stupid they were. The P-A-R-T-Y attitude of so many hormones, combined with unlimited tequila, and all wedged into one small area can possibly result in bad things. Bad things. Remember Natalie Holloway?
There is binge drinking everywhere. There is random sex everywhere. There are bad people everywhere. But somehow, marketed trips that openly promote these behaviors are unsettling and disturbing. Yet year after year we allow our precious children to go out of the country, unsupervised and unmonitored.
The whole world is at their fingertips. The possibilities are limitless. How about Student Tours to Europe, backpacking in the Rockies, Teen Fantasy Camps or American beach destinations ? There is Disney World, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags. A group could book a floor at a lakeside resort , go Snow Skiing or tour the Rain Forest. How about identifying a popular band and planning a road trip in a chauffeured bus to their concert city? Cruise to Alaska, find like minded friends and take a week long course somewhere cool doing something you love, see New York, or Chicago, D.C. or San Antonio, .........just encourage your graduate to make a wise, a safe and a life- broadening choice.
If we find the above too expensive, should we allow our child to go South because it is cheap? Let's all agree it is OK to just say no to the trip and promise other choices at a later time. OK, I'm practicing, no......no...No!
Even with his own parent somewhere in the vicinity, my son bungee jumped at a tourist stand, trusting other countries to have the same safety standards as his own did. Our designated Dads accompanied the kids crammed on a party boat called the Booze Cruise to Isla Mujeres. The evening culminated in various "games", organized by the cruise line and fueled by the tequila and Corona that had been consumed coming across to the island. You have seen "Girls Gone Wild"? Six years ago, this behavior was not marketed and aired on MTV. Our "chaperones" were absolutely shocked as inhibitions were broken down and good judgement disappeared as quickly as young girls T-shirts. Another night there was an altercation at Carlos and Charlie's and a stampede resulted as kids tried to get out of the way and out of the bar. Several were injured.
Perhaps you argue, "I trust my child. He would not participate in dangerous behavior." Or other parents counter, "They're graduating. Let 'em go have fun. You're only young once." The one my husband and I succumbed to was "everyone else is going"- but only one time.
Our kids go out of the country where liquor laws are non-existent and our teens are targeted customers. Granted, thousands of students return with a good tan and none the worse for wear. However, ask any of them if they would ever go back. In my totally unscientific survey, 8 out of 10 will say no. As young men and women mature in college, they realize what dangerous situations they were in and how naive and stupid they were. The P-A-R-T-Y attitude of so many hormones, combined with unlimited tequila, and all wedged into one small area can possibly result in bad things. Bad things. Remember Natalie Holloway?
There is binge drinking everywhere. There is random sex everywhere. There are bad people everywhere. But somehow, marketed trips that openly promote these behaviors are unsettling and disturbing. Yet year after year we allow our precious children to go out of the country, unsupervised and unmonitored.
The whole world is at their fingertips. The possibilities are limitless. How about Student Tours to Europe, backpacking in the Rockies, Teen Fantasy Camps or American beach destinations ? There is Disney World, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags. A group could book a floor at a lakeside resort , go Snow Skiing or tour the Rain Forest. How about identifying a popular band and planning a road trip in a chauffeured bus to their concert city? Cruise to Alaska, find like minded friends and take a week long course somewhere cool doing something you love, see New York, or Chicago, D.C. or San Antonio, .........just encourage your graduate to make a wise, a safe and a life- broadening choice.
If we find the above too expensive, should we allow our child to go South because it is cheap? Let's all agree it is OK to just say no to the trip and promise other choices at a later time. OK, I'm practicing, no......no...No!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Generation Techs
Who out there had a Princess telephone in your bedroom? How long were you allowed to talk on it per day? Did you have to share it with your sister? And how about you guys - did you talk on the phone for hours?
Enter the technological age in which teens have cell phones, IM, iPODs, text messaging, Blackberries and beyond, and the MySpace and Facebook Chrissie wrote about a few posts back. While you were allowed to talk on the phone for an hour, today's teens spend an estimated 6 hours per day engaged in technological correspondence of some kind. As you have probably noticed and any teacher can tell you, it's hard to separate a teen from his phone.
All this phonage seems to be making us superficial and self-absorbed. Notice the IM, iPOD - the big "I" pervades all this personal technology. "I want it now, I am going to use it now, and I don't care what you say," is the teen's silent, but blatant mantra.
Is all this teen technology really beneficial? According to a CBS News report at the start of this school year, there is a possibility that it is not. Here is a quote from that article:
"Teenagers have a biological need to separate (from their parents), and online there's a perception of invisibility from parents, removing the fear that their actions will be detected," says Nancy Willard, executive director of Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use. "The disconnect between actions and consequences play against each other with teens."
Ironically, if teens have a biological need to separate from their parents, cell phones now provide instant access, even during school hours. It is so common for a student to say, "Hey, my mom is calling me, can I answer it?" It's like a long distance umbilical cord!!
The big hello though is the last line - the disconnect teens are now experiencing between their actions and consequences. Nowhere is that more obvious than in a public school. Part of the six hours a day a teen spends messaging or talking on the cell are at school. They have even become so adept at concealing it as to be able to text message someone virtually from their pocket without looking at the phone!!
What a paradox to be so connected, yet disconnected at the same time. As innocuous as it may seem, this disconnect between teen actions and consequences is a problem society has only begun to realize.
In the first place, it exacerbates amoral teen behavior. For example, I'm thinking of the story I was told about Oklahoma high schoolers who had a lingerie party at their friend's house, took pictures of themselves in said lingerie with their host's Dad, a public official, then posted them on their MySpace, refusing to remove them, even though their good friend's father asked them to (ok, maybe that dad should have seen that coming, but it does also raise moral and legal issues regarding what rights we have with our identity on the Internet - a problem teens have had with Facebook and MySpace). Also, just keeping the stupid thing put away during class (or a movie, while driving, during dinner, at work...) is a challenge of will and determination many teens lose.
The other is the superficiality and lacking depth of knowledge that this multitasking is causing. If the average American attention span was short before, it is almost non-existent now among the members of our younger generation. It used to be the only distraction was daydreaming - now it is a constant barrage of incoming text messages and constant tuning out with the iPOD. It gives the old "turn on, tune in, drop out" motto a whole new meaning. An up note is that now teens and adults alike can self-medicate with electronics, rather than drugs!
Of course, the Druides of the ancient Gauls forbade their students to use writing, as it might impair their memory. Gutenburg's printing press scared alot of people in the Renaissance. Any new technology is threatening. It will take a few years, maybe decades, to develop rules governing the polite and proper use of technological devices.
In order to beat them, this time we are going to have to join them. There's no turning back now in this brave new world. The medium's the message. Oops, gotta go - my cell phone's ringing...
Enter the technological age in which teens have cell phones, IM, iPODs, text messaging, Blackberries and beyond, and the MySpace and Facebook Chrissie wrote about a few posts back. While you were allowed to talk on the phone for an hour, today's teens spend an estimated 6 hours per day engaged in technological correspondence of some kind. As you have probably noticed and any teacher can tell you, it's hard to separate a teen from his phone.
All this phonage seems to be making us superficial and self-absorbed. Notice the IM, iPOD - the big "I" pervades all this personal technology. "I want it now, I am going to use it now, and I don't care what you say," is the teen's silent, but blatant mantra.
Is all this teen technology really beneficial? According to a CBS News report at the start of this school year, there is a possibility that it is not. Here is a quote from that article:
"Teenagers have a biological need to separate (from their parents), and online there's a perception of invisibility from parents, removing the fear that their actions will be detected," says Nancy Willard, executive director of Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use. "The disconnect between actions and consequences play against each other with teens."
Ironically, if teens have a biological need to separate from their parents, cell phones now provide instant access, even during school hours. It is so common for a student to say, "Hey, my mom is calling me, can I answer it?" It's like a long distance umbilical cord!!
The big hello though is the last line - the disconnect teens are now experiencing between their actions and consequences. Nowhere is that more obvious than in a public school. Part of the six hours a day a teen spends messaging or talking on the cell are at school. They have even become so adept at concealing it as to be able to text message someone virtually from their pocket without looking at the phone!!
What a paradox to be so connected, yet disconnected at the same time. As innocuous as it may seem, this disconnect between teen actions and consequences is a problem society has only begun to realize.
In the first place, it exacerbates amoral teen behavior. For example, I'm thinking of the story I was told about Oklahoma high schoolers who had a lingerie party at their friend's house, took pictures of themselves in said lingerie with their host's Dad, a public official, then posted them on their MySpace, refusing to remove them, even though their good friend's father asked them to (ok, maybe that dad should have seen that coming, but it does also raise moral and legal issues regarding what rights we have with our identity on the Internet - a problem teens have had with Facebook and MySpace). Also, just keeping the stupid thing put away during class (or a movie, while driving, during dinner, at work...) is a challenge of will and determination many teens lose.
The other is the superficiality and lacking depth of knowledge that this multitasking is causing. If the average American attention span was short before, it is almost non-existent now among the members of our younger generation. It used to be the only distraction was daydreaming - now it is a constant barrage of incoming text messages and constant tuning out with the iPOD. It gives the old "turn on, tune in, drop out" motto a whole new meaning. An up note is that now teens and adults alike can self-medicate with electronics, rather than drugs!
Of course, the Druides of the ancient Gauls forbade their students to use writing, as it might impair their memory. Gutenburg's printing press scared alot of people in the Renaissance. Any new technology is threatening. It will take a few years, maybe decades, to develop rules governing the polite and proper use of technological devices.
In order to beat them, this time we are going to have to join them. There's no turning back now in this brave new world. The medium's the message. Oops, gotta go - my cell phone's ringing...
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Do You Always Want to Wear a Paper Hat??
Mel's right. At some point teens must make their own decisions. If we have to duct tape our mouths and handcuff ourselves to the bedpost, we must allow our children to learn by experience. It's hard. It is really hard. This does not mean, however, tools aren't available to help our teens make positive decisions. If high school is the issue at your house, maybe the following will help. If your kids are younger, start early. Educate them now about the importance of staying in school.
Sean Covey has written several excellent books for teens. One is Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, another is titledThe Six Most Important Decisions You Will Ever Make. Both books are practical and easy to understand. Discussing the 6 decisions, Covey places school first on his list of important choices. If you are in high school and feeling frustrated and defeated, read on.
You are sitting in English class. Mrs. "English is Important" is rambling on and on "about the Elizabethan period and some old building called the Globe or World or something and.. geez, boys played the girls ..... this stupid play has too many thee's and thou's. Now she wants my stupid homework. Right. I had to work until 11:30 last night...made good tips...really good tips. Plus, that sweet thing at the bar gave me her cell number. ...need to call her..........ZZZZZZZZZZZZ Huh? Say what? What's iambic pentameter? I think it was a muscle car in the 60's. Haa Haa. A 0 for today? #^$*^&@ I hate this class. It's a waste of time sitting here."
I know many of you have been there. Remember, I was Mrs. "English is Important" Why should you stay in school? The money you are making now is good. It makes your car payment, pays for your cell phone and you have some left for a very satisfactory social life. If you quit school and could work more hours, you would make more money, maybe be able to move to your own place, sleep late, and best of all, school and grades would only be a bad memory.
Right. Nope. Wrong.
If you graduate from school you will have better skills, a better paying job and have a better chance of living successfully. Did you know that if you drop out of high school, statistics prove that you will have a low paying job for the rest of your life?
Here are some of Sean Covey's facts:
1. Dropouts have a harder time finding and keeping jobs. 50% of dropouts are unemployed
2. Dropouts are often labeled as people who don't complete things-and they usually don't
3. Dropouts often jump from job to job instead of steadily building a career
4. Dropouts aren't even considered for high paying jobs-even if they are qualified
5. And increasingly, here and in most countries, a high school degree is not enough
The Bureau of Labor and Statistics offers the following:
Education..........................................Weekly Salary
No H.S. Diploma....................................$409
H.S. Diploma.........................................$583
2 Year college Degree............................$699
4 Year College Degree...........................$937
Master's Degree.....................................$1129
Professional or Doctoral Degree..........$1421
Making $6.00 or $8.00 an hour may seem good now, but it won't be enough to live on for the rest of your life. If you drop out of school, you automatically limit your life choices. You limit your life experiences. You limit your life possibilities.
Covey offers a simple "Baby Step" for each of the six decisions.
The one for staying in school is http://www.6decisions.com/pdf/01_School.pdf. Look at it. Work through the lists. He begins, "if you are planning to drop out of school, repeat the following aloud, every day; "I am looking forward to low paying jobs for the rest of my life" Go on, keep saying it. "I am looking forward to low paying jobs for the rest of my life." How is that for a mantra to carry around in your head?
One other thing. Don't use the old GED as a cop out. It is not an easier way to get your diploma and you lose the socialization, the activities and the experience of high school. Take the baby step above and re-evaluate. Look ahead the next 50 years of your life, not just to the next weekend. Remember though, if school has not been working for you, you need to rethink and go in with a fresh new perspective. First, get your personal act together and then, figure out what being a team player means. Covey calls these public and private victories. Making school work, is a choice. Knock the chip off your shoulder and have a plan for success. You can do this today to insure yourself a better tomorrow.
Staying in school is a no-brainer and so is Chicken Sopa . It's kind of embarrassing to publish. It features canned soups but doctored right, soups are a great short-cut for a quick meal. This is from Southern Living and freezes well. Serve with a good green salad and you have a delicious dinner!!
Chicken Sopa
1 medium onion, chopped
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 (14 oz) can Swanson's Chicken Broth
2 (4 oz) can diced green chiles
1/2 tsp garlic powder (or 1 clove fresh)
4 cups cooked, shredded chicken (In a hurry? Grab the Rotisserie chicken and shred the meat)
12 corn tortillas
8 ounces shredded cheddar cheese
Saute onion in a lightly greased skillet and add next 6 ingredients. Remove from heat and add corn tortillas that have been torn into bite size pieces. Add 4 ounces of cheese mixture.
Spread chicken mixture into 6 buttered oven-safe ramekins or a 13 x 9 Pyrex pan. Top with remaining cheese. Bake, covered at 325 for 30 minutes or until bubbly. Uncover and bake 15 minutes more or until golden brown.
Sean Covey has written several excellent books for teens. One is Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, another is titledThe Six Most Important Decisions You Will Ever Make. Both books are practical and easy to understand. Discussing the 6 decisions, Covey places school first on his list of important choices. If you are in high school and feeling frustrated and defeated, read on.
You are sitting in English class. Mrs. "English is Important" is rambling on and on "about the Elizabethan period and some old building called the Globe or World or something and.. geez, boys played the girls ..... this stupid play has too many thee's and thou's. Now she wants my stupid homework. Right. I had to work until 11:30 last night...made good tips...really good tips. Plus, that sweet thing at the bar gave me her cell number. ...need to call her..........ZZZZZZZZZZZZ Huh? Say what? What's iambic pentameter? I think it was a muscle car in the 60's. Haa Haa. A 0 for today? #^$*^&@ I hate this class. It's a waste of time sitting here."
I know many of you have been there. Remember, I was Mrs. "English is Important" Why should you stay in school? The money you are making now is good. It makes your car payment, pays for your cell phone and you have some left for a very satisfactory social life. If you quit school and could work more hours, you would make more money, maybe be able to move to your own place, sleep late, and best of all, school and grades would only be a bad memory.
Right. Nope. Wrong.
If you graduate from school you will have better skills, a better paying job and have a better chance of living successfully. Did you know that if you drop out of high school, statistics prove that you will have a low paying job for the rest of your life?
Here are some of Sean Covey's facts:
1. Dropouts have a harder time finding and keeping jobs. 50% of dropouts are unemployed
2. Dropouts are often labeled as people who don't complete things-and they usually don't
3. Dropouts often jump from job to job instead of steadily building a career
4. Dropouts aren't even considered for high paying jobs-even if they are qualified
5. And increasingly, here and in most countries, a high school degree is not enough
The Bureau of Labor and Statistics offers the following:
Education..........................................Weekly Salary
No H.S. Diploma....................................$409
H.S. Diploma.........................................$583
2 Year college Degree............................$699
4 Year College Degree...........................$937
Master's Degree.....................................$1129
Professional or Doctoral Degree..........$1421
Making $6.00 or $8.00 an hour may seem good now, but it won't be enough to live on for the rest of your life. If you drop out of school, you automatically limit your life choices. You limit your life experiences. You limit your life possibilities.
Covey offers a simple "Baby Step" for each of the six decisions.
The one for staying in school is http://www.6decisions.com/pdf/01_School.pdf. Look at it. Work through the lists. He begins, "if you are planning to drop out of school, repeat the following aloud, every day; "I am looking forward to low paying jobs for the rest of my life" Go on, keep saying it. "I am looking forward to low paying jobs for the rest of my life." How is that for a mantra to carry around in your head?
One other thing. Don't use the old GED as a cop out. It is not an easier way to get your diploma and you lose the socialization, the activities and the experience of high school. Take the baby step above and re-evaluate. Look ahead the next 50 years of your life, not just to the next weekend. Remember though, if school has not been working for you, you need to rethink and go in with a fresh new perspective. First, get your personal act together and then, figure out what being a team player means. Covey calls these public and private victories. Making school work, is a choice. Knock the chip off your shoulder and have a plan for success. You can do this today to insure yourself a better tomorrow.
Staying in school is a no-brainer and so is Chicken Sopa . It's kind of embarrassing to publish. It features canned soups but doctored right, soups are a great short-cut for a quick meal. This is from Southern Living and freezes well. Serve with a good green salad and you have a delicious dinner!!
Chicken Sopa
1 medium onion, chopped
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 (14 oz) can Swanson's Chicken Broth
2 (4 oz) can diced green chiles
1/2 tsp garlic powder (or 1 clove fresh)
4 cups cooked, shredded chicken (In a hurry? Grab the Rotisserie chicken and shred the meat)
12 corn tortillas
8 ounces shredded cheddar cheese
Saute onion in a lightly greased skillet and add next 6 ingredients. Remove from heat and add corn tortillas that have been torn into bite size pieces. Add 4 ounces of cheese mixture.
Spread chicken mixture into 6 buttered oven-safe ramekins or a 13 x 9 Pyrex pan. Top with remaining cheese. Bake, covered at 325 for 30 minutes or until bubbly. Uncover and bake 15 minutes more or until golden brown.
Friday, February 9, 2007
A Grasshopper Story
You read the post about the cough syrup. Now what? If you know your child has tried the Purple Stuff, beer, pot, pills, whatever, what do you do? Parents have varying reactions.
You've heard the expression, "when in wonder, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout"? It won't get you anywhere but upset. If you keep it up long enough, you may have a stroke. Too much adrenaline and cortisol produced by chronic over-reacting can lead to heart disease. That won't help anyone.
Then there is the "blind-eye" approach. It is really common to just ignore it. Chalk it up to teen behavior. Ignore it and it will go away. Everyone tries it (drinking, pot, speed, aderol...) and they turn out okay.
Really? Everyone?
And then there is the rescuing approach, in which the parent blames himself, the school, bad friends, society, a full moon, everyone and everything but the child himself.
It reminds me of what I call the grasshopper story. Last summer a very large, beautifully green and fresh grasshopper landed in my trash can, which happened to be open. I reached in and tried to get it out, but it jumped down a little further into the smelly trashcan. I tried to reach down further and pick it up, but it fell down under a really bad mixture of coffee grounds and old bar-b-que. As I gingerly picked up the newspaper on which the stinky mixture was sitting, the grasshopper fell all the way to the bottom, irretrievable. I was overcome with a very strong feeling of sadness and guilt, not only because I couldn't save the grasshopper, but because I had inadvertently, through good intentions, caused the demise of the grasshopper by my very attempt to rescue it. If I had left it alone, but monitored its progress, it probably would have found a way back out.
This is what we do to teens by perpetually rescuing them and never letting them face any consequences whatsoever. They don't learn how to control themselves, face their demons, and get on with life. They are held captive in a state of infantilism that will plague them throughout their lives.
What to do, then, when we find out our teen is indulging in potentially addictive and dangerous behavior - it is tricky. Everything from tough love, Camp Thunderbird, joining the Army, to hitting rock bottom, to simply outgrowing the risky behavior, can work or not work. It depends on the individual. That answer is not easy.
So, what I would like to suggest is also sometimes alot easier said than done, namely that you take care of yourself if you are in a dire situation with your child's drug or alcohol use. The prolonged stress produces sustained elevated levels of cortisol, shrinking the hippocampus and reducing the production of new neurons, which in turn impairs one's memory, mood, and ability to function normally on a daily basis. To help a "mis-functioning" child requires a functioning adult. Staying calm and taking positive action, for instance seeking the help of a drug/alcohol counselor, is a start.
Some people like to cook to relieve stress. Here is a Valentine's Day Chex Mix you can whip up in a flash.
1 sack Valentine's Day M & M's candies (they come in milk or dark chocolate now)
1 cup Valentines Day colored candy corn (available at Wal Mart)
2 - 4 cups Corn or Rice Chex
1 cup heart shaped pretzels
1 cup salted peanuts
Add all to an airtight container and mix. Vary proportions of each ingredient to taste. Happy Valentine's Day!
You've heard the expression, "when in wonder, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout"? It won't get you anywhere but upset. If you keep it up long enough, you may have a stroke. Too much adrenaline and cortisol produced by chronic over-reacting can lead to heart disease. That won't help anyone.
Then there is the "blind-eye" approach. It is really common to just ignore it. Chalk it up to teen behavior. Ignore it and it will go away. Everyone tries it (drinking, pot, speed, aderol...) and they turn out okay.
Really? Everyone?
And then there is the rescuing approach, in which the parent blames himself, the school, bad friends, society, a full moon, everyone and everything but the child himself.
It reminds me of what I call the grasshopper story. Last summer a very large, beautifully green and fresh grasshopper landed in my trash can, which happened to be open. I reached in and tried to get it out, but it jumped down a little further into the smelly trashcan. I tried to reach down further and pick it up, but it fell down under a really bad mixture of coffee grounds and old bar-b-que. As I gingerly picked up the newspaper on which the stinky mixture was sitting, the grasshopper fell all the way to the bottom, irretrievable. I was overcome with a very strong feeling of sadness and guilt, not only because I couldn't save the grasshopper, but because I had inadvertently, through good intentions, caused the demise of the grasshopper by my very attempt to rescue it. If I had left it alone, but monitored its progress, it probably would have found a way back out.
This is what we do to teens by perpetually rescuing them and never letting them face any consequences whatsoever. They don't learn how to control themselves, face their demons, and get on with life. They are held captive in a state of infantilism that will plague them throughout their lives.
What to do, then, when we find out our teen is indulging in potentially addictive and dangerous behavior - it is tricky. Everything from tough love, Camp Thunderbird, joining the Army, to hitting rock bottom, to simply outgrowing the risky behavior, can work or not work. It depends on the individual. That answer is not easy.
So, what I would like to suggest is also sometimes alot easier said than done, namely that you take care of yourself if you are in a dire situation with your child's drug or alcohol use. The prolonged stress produces sustained elevated levels of cortisol, shrinking the hippocampus and reducing the production of new neurons, which in turn impairs one's memory, mood, and ability to function normally on a daily basis. To help a "mis-functioning" child requires a functioning adult. Staying calm and taking positive action, for instance seeking the help of a drug/alcohol counselor, is a start.
Some people like to cook to relieve stress. Here is a Valentine's Day Chex Mix you can whip up in a flash.
1 sack Valentine's Day M & M's candies (they come in milk or dark chocolate now)
1 cup Valentines Day colored candy corn (available at Wal Mart)
2 - 4 cups Corn or Rice Chex
1 cup heart shaped pretzels
1 cup salted peanuts
Add all to an airtight container and mix. Vary proportions of each ingredient to taste. Happy Valentine's Day!
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Hey, Mom, Where's the Cough Syrup?
Jackie Luckey, coordinator of Project Under 21 at Green Country Mental Health, spoke to my S.A.D.D. students today. He had a startling fact about underage drinking unique to this generation. Everyone has heard of Snoop Dogg's gin and juice, and you've probably heard a song called Purple Stuff, but did you know that the purple stuff was cough syrup?
Kids are buying mass quantities of cough syrup and drinking it straight. 3 bottles of cough syrup containing dextromethorphan equals the same high as PCP. Have you ever seen people on PCP? They are crazy. And sometimes they die. This is a far cry from the innocuous effects of an aspirin dropped in a Dr. Pepper bottle (for you youngsters, that was an ancient urban legend about the intoxicating properties of that concoction).
So far only cough syrups and pills containing pseudoephedrine are under control. You have to be 18 to buy it and have a valid ID, as it is behind the counter with your allergy pills and the NyQuil. Project U 21 is pushing for legislation that will remove the cough syrups containing DXM also, but until then, it remains out on the shelf and it's cheap. Some places do not even question a young person (say, around 15 years old) buying as many as 30 bottles at one time. Who buys 30 bottles of cough syrup? Even the most naive person would know something's up!
But, in case you are one of the naive people who has never heard of this, now you know. It has been going on since the '90's, but despite media coverage of cough syrup abuse, hospital emergency rooms have not seen a change in the number of teen overdoses on the stuff. Suspect something if your healthy child wants to know where you keep the cough syrup. Monitor the cough syrups in your medicine cabinet. DXM can come in pill form in various shapes and colors, or even in your Coricidin.
And if you hear the words, "Hey, Mom, where's the cough syrup," you might want to reply, "I don't know, honey, I don't think we have any, let me check..."
Kids are buying mass quantities of cough syrup and drinking it straight. 3 bottles of cough syrup containing dextromethorphan equals the same high as PCP. Have you ever seen people on PCP? They are crazy. And sometimes they die. This is a far cry from the innocuous effects of an aspirin dropped in a Dr. Pepper bottle (for you youngsters, that was an ancient urban legend about the intoxicating properties of that concoction).
So far only cough syrups and pills containing pseudoephedrine are under control. You have to be 18 to buy it and have a valid ID, as it is behind the counter with your allergy pills and the NyQuil. Project U 21 is pushing for legislation that will remove the cough syrups containing DXM also, but until then, it remains out on the shelf and it's cheap. Some places do not even question a young person (say, around 15 years old) buying as many as 30 bottles at one time. Who buys 30 bottles of cough syrup? Even the most naive person would know something's up!
But, in case you are one of the naive people who has never heard of this, now you know. It has been going on since the '90's, but despite media coverage of cough syrup abuse, hospital emergency rooms have not seen a change in the number of teen overdoses on the stuff. Suspect something if your healthy child wants to know where you keep the cough syrup. Monitor the cough syrups in your medicine cabinet. DXM can come in pill form in various shapes and colors, or even in your Coricidin.
And if you hear the words, "Hey, Mom, where's the cough syrup," you might want to reply, "I don't know, honey, I don't think we have any, let me check..."
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Homer Simpson is not Emily Post
We all want our children to have a successful and productive life. Shoot. Wouldn't we also like that for ourselves? Is there a short- cut that makes life better, more pleasant and eminently, more satisfying? It is as obvious as the nose on our face, but unfortunately, half the American population is publicly picking theirs.
Manners. Yep, Manners. Now, I am not talking about which spoon to use when served clear soup versus cream soup. I am talking about the forgotten practice of putting a napkin in one's lap. The next step in this process is actually using said napkin. The quandary of what month oysters are served in is not a pressing problem. Eating across from someone who has much to say about Global Warming, but does so with their mouth open, full of chili fries, is definitely disconcerting. Elbows off the table, please. Sometimes shoulders off the table is more applicable. Do not hold a fork upside down in a tight fist and stab at anything that's not tied down. Knives should be replaced to the plate after each cut, not held in the other hand as if expecting an ambush at the dinner table.
Toothpicks. Oh Lord. How have they become accepted main steam hygiene? What are we modeling for our kids? Pieces of partially digested food products are being sucked and picked out of diner's teeth during coffee and dessert. Wait one, maybe two more minutes at the max. Gums and spaces will not suffer until you can at least get to your car. Ask your dentist. It's okay.
Children should be taught to rise when older people enter the room. Anyone younger should do so. It is a sign of respect. We all need to know what a firm handshake is and how to make eye contact. A correct introduction is important to grasp. It's oldest first, "Father Time, may I introduce Naked New Year Baby in top hat." As a teacher, I really noticed when I was acknowledged with a smile and a nod by students (or faculty for that matter). Common courtesy. It is affirming and positive.
What in heaven's name happened to holding a door open for someone? How many times are you right on the heel of someone going into the Quickie Mart and BAM, the door slams in front of you as Mr. No Shirt heads to the beer cooler. Oh and my favorite, just as you hit the door, manly man brings up a big, juicy hocker and SPITS it on the pavement as he goes into the store. This is an incredibly nasty habit and it has also become mainstream. Walking up the steps at my high school was enough to ruin lunch. Boys and Girls. This is an equal opportunity bad manners.
Hats. Oh hats. Men and boys. Take them off inside. It is simple. Friends employed at the hospital laugh about certain proud papas. At the birth of their child, they smile for the camera with their baby in their arms and with their ball cap screwed tightly on. Sweaty and well used or still with the tag hanging off the brim, please, take them off inside. It is good manners.
Let's agree to not put anything on the back of our cars that someone else would be embarrassed to read or is illegal. Cartoon characters relieving themselves on anything said driver takes offense to would be one example. Physical maiming threatened as retaliation for tail-gating is another popular Oklahoma bumper-sticker. Lastly, the humor of your kid beating up my honor student may just be sending the wrong signals of your expectations and priorities to your own personal child.
A personal bugaboo - bread and butter letters. Children need to start the practice as soon as they can scribble and continue until they can no longer hold a pen in crippled, arthritic hands. If Great Aunt Edna hobbles to the mall and picks out that stunning pair of rubber galoshes-thank her. After any job interview, drop a note and thank that little HR guy for his time. Mr. and Mrs. Super Parents host all 67 of your Chess Club for dinner and debate, thank them. Acknowledge kindness. Acknowledge effort. Write a Thank You note. Wedding gifts, graduation presents, baby showers, birthday parties, memorials to a loved one-gratitude and appreciation please. One other thing, those pre-printed thank you notes, a definite no-no. Write your own and make it sincere and personal. When my kids were small, birthday checks would be cashed as soon as the thank you note was written and mailed. Not a bribe, a given.
Socially acceptable behaviour is not brain surgery Manners are nothing more than kindness, consideration and common sense. Start standards of behaviour early and they will be second nature to your child. Civilized behavior is not bad. It is good. From a compliment on the back of a child's elementary report card to important and monumental life choices, being polite goes a long way to "seal the deal" for a successful life.
Manners. Yep, Manners. Now, I am not talking about which spoon to use when served clear soup versus cream soup. I am talking about the forgotten practice of putting a napkin in one's lap. The next step in this process is actually using said napkin. The quandary of what month oysters are served in is not a pressing problem. Eating across from someone who has much to say about Global Warming, but does so with their mouth open, full of chili fries, is definitely disconcerting. Elbows off the table, please. Sometimes shoulders off the table is more applicable. Do not hold a fork upside down in a tight fist and stab at anything that's not tied down. Knives should be replaced to the plate after each cut, not held in the other hand as if expecting an ambush at the dinner table.
Toothpicks. Oh Lord. How have they become accepted main steam hygiene? What are we modeling for our kids? Pieces of partially digested food products are being sucked and picked out of diner's teeth during coffee and dessert. Wait one, maybe two more minutes at the max. Gums and spaces will not suffer until you can at least get to your car. Ask your dentist. It's okay.
Children should be taught to rise when older people enter the room. Anyone younger should do so. It is a sign of respect. We all need to know what a firm handshake is and how to make eye contact. A correct introduction is important to grasp. It's oldest first, "Father Time, may I introduce Naked New Year Baby in top hat." As a teacher, I really noticed when I was acknowledged with a smile and a nod by students (or faculty for that matter). Common courtesy. It is affirming and positive.
What in heaven's name happened to holding a door open for someone? How many times are you right on the heel of someone going into the Quickie Mart and BAM, the door slams in front of you as Mr. No Shirt heads to the beer cooler. Oh and my favorite, just as you hit the door, manly man brings up a big, juicy hocker and SPITS it on the pavement as he goes into the store. This is an incredibly nasty habit and it has also become mainstream. Walking up the steps at my high school was enough to ruin lunch. Boys and Girls. This is an equal opportunity bad manners.
Hats. Oh hats. Men and boys. Take them off inside. It is simple. Friends employed at the hospital laugh about certain proud papas. At the birth of their child, they smile for the camera with their baby in their arms and with their ball cap screwed tightly on. Sweaty and well used or still with the tag hanging off the brim, please, take them off inside. It is good manners.
Let's agree to not put anything on the back of our cars that someone else would be embarrassed to read or is illegal. Cartoon characters relieving themselves on anything said driver takes offense to would be one example. Physical maiming threatened as retaliation for tail-gating is another popular Oklahoma bumper-sticker. Lastly, the humor of your kid beating up my honor student may just be sending the wrong signals of your expectations and priorities to your own personal child.
A personal bugaboo - bread and butter letters. Children need to start the practice as soon as they can scribble and continue until they can no longer hold a pen in crippled, arthritic hands. If Great Aunt Edna hobbles to the mall and picks out that stunning pair of rubber galoshes-thank her. After any job interview, drop a note and thank that little HR guy for his time. Mr. and Mrs. Super Parents host all 67 of your Chess Club for dinner and debate, thank them. Acknowledge kindness. Acknowledge effort. Write a Thank You note. Wedding gifts, graduation presents, baby showers, birthday parties, memorials to a loved one-gratitude and appreciation please. One other thing, those pre-printed thank you notes, a definite no-no. Write your own and make it sincere and personal. When my kids were small, birthday checks would be cashed as soon as the thank you note was written and mailed. Not a bribe, a given.
Socially acceptable behaviour is not brain surgery Manners are nothing more than kindness, consideration and common sense. Start standards of behaviour early and they will be second nature to your child. Civilized behavior is not bad. It is good. From a compliment on the back of a child's elementary report card to important and monumental life choices, being polite goes a long way to "seal the deal" for a successful life.
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