How Do I Look?

I loved Mel's observation about how we dress as Mothers and how our children react to our choices. Just last weekend I proudly sported my new yoga outfit made out of up-to-date and politically correct bamboo fabric. I entered the room with a spring in my step. Whoops. I was instantly aware of some kind of error. How? By the exchange of glances between both my daughters.

"What's wrong?" I asked. " Isn't this OK?"

"It's really cute Mom."

"But......?"

Another quick non-verbal exchange between my two fashionistas.

"For heaven's sake Mom...." begins one,

"Do not wear the shirt tucked in!" finishes the other.

Whoa. Wouldn't that have been a fashion disaster?

Purses. There's another mistake waiting to happen. I pick one up. It looks like all the ones I see in the magazines. Feels nice. Price is right. I expectantly turn to daughter #1 with said bag in my hand. Her look of abject horror freezes me in mid-gesture. I turn and gingerly replace the shunned handbag back with it's outcast companions.

Then there is the dreaded, "it looks like a Mom outfit." What in the world does that mean? Are we talking Vicki Lawrence's character in Mama's Family? Her polyestered and orthopedic shod character is not exactly my fashion goal in these middle years. Could it be the spandexed and big-haired Peg portrayed in Married with Children? Or are my off-spring referring to a June Cleaver Mom, perfect shirt waist and pearls with the always present plate of fresh baked cookies?

I think we all want to look our age but fashionable and pulled together. When my children were small, I was just glad to have my hair brushed and something without spit- up or dog hair on it. Now that there is more time to shop, I don't know what to buy. Is it too short? Too tight? Too young? Too old? How to dress well and dress age appropriately?

Instinct my dear, instinct. I stay away from anything with an elastic waist band or that says 100% polyester. If I wore something similar 20 years ago, (say prairie skirt and cowboy boots), I'll leave that fashion statement as a happy memory and make another choice. Shoulder pads and leg warmers would be another no-no. If I'm not sure I want to walk out of the dressing room, I'll leave the culprit on the hanger. Indecision for those of us of a certain age is a good warning sign. Run!!!

Of course I have excellent stylists on my staff. Daughters Annie and Catherine have proven they are usually right in the "What Not To Wear" department. I trust their judgement because they love me and want me to look my best. Their Father would say I looked great if I came out in a trash bag and army boots. (His only observation is usually, "what did it cost?")

As Moms, we will try to not embarrass you too much. We won't wear our black leather bell bottoms from 1982 or at the other end of the spectrum, that denim jumper that goes down to our ankles. You know the one. It has embroidered apples with each of our children's names painted on the front. We will read In Style magazine, especially the pages that cover the fashion tips for our age group. We'll watch the Fashion Make-Over shows and identify our own possible "style" weaknesses. We will really, really try. But sometimes, just sometimes, we may have to pull a ringer. A T-shirt from a long ago Eagles Concert, a vintage monogrammed sweater tied around our shoulders, red Keds sneakers, overalls with a peace sign sewn on.................it's OK. You don't have to act like you know us! We understand. We all had Mothers too.